Saturday, October 3, 2015

Man I Can Sleep On Saturday Morning.

Hello, and good morning. I am surprised how much I can sleep Friday night to Saturday morning. Every other day of the week I try to get up by 3:00 am, so maybe it is a day of catch up. I usually go to bed early Friday night, cuz after work I can get a little crazy if I want. Typically I want.

Anyway, that is me. You may wonder how I am free to do as I choose, and it is because just like this morning I let everything be seen. I have no shame in anything about me. I hide none of my silly ways, and you will not be able to understand that. I don't know what it is like to hide stuff, because those days are gone. In that way I have no idea what it is like to be you anymore. I cannot be in those shoes anymore.

So what else is going on??  The World is just as dumb as ever. 2 sides ready to start a Civil War over the 2nd Amendment. One side wants to go to the Wild West, where justice is doled out by whoever is better with the gun. The other side knows that is sorta ridiculous, but they argue in vain. Things will never change too too much in that regard.

I myself don't really want to get into foolish arguments that already has everybody pissed. I'd like to know what sort of rejection has a person endured to just flat out start killing people?? Where did everything go so horribly wrong??  I think back to how fragile of a person I was during puberty and my High School years. I wanted to be cool, and I guess I was sorta popular. I was pretty good at Soccer, but I played it my whole life so who wouldn't be.

I think what I really wanted was to be special maybe. Like I was living a good life type of thing. Not sure, but I wanted to be humble, and not have pride, but I don't think I lived up to the good person I wanted to be. You know my Senior year of HS I had to wake up by 2:00 am 7 days/ week to do a big car paper route. Tribune, Sun Tines, and Herald. I think typically around 300 papers, so getting up early is something I did. After work I'd go wake up Scully, and we'd go run like a 1-1/2 mile route. I always beat him.  :)

My life changed when my hs girlfriend and I broke up. I was at a community college with  Doug Kasner who was one of the best men at my wedding. We both went to ISU the year after. We had many silly times back then. I just never grew up. I had that couple year stretch where I went through things previously explained.

As much as I battled being right in the journey, it all came to this. I was to be Adam, before I am made into the best a person can be. I think the dead years were part of the story, because it is good. My Adam years are for me, cuz they are good for me. It is a fun way to live having great promises, and a heart that is strong and well cared for. It can get ugly here with mistakes, but you know me, and we don't know you.

Anyways just jotting some things down.

Have a good one.  :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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