Tuesday, October 20, 2015

If I Get Up Earlier Maybe I Can Do More.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. Yesterday was a pretty okay day. I was able to finish work a little early, so I left an hour early. It took me about an hour to bike home with the 80MPH winds I was battling. Holy crap was that brutal.

Anyway on Sunday my wife said she would need help pulling plants, and getting them to the road, so I cut all our beach grasses using our recip saw, and brought them to the road. The city picks up all our shit like that and leaves when they fall. The trees with the major leaves still look pretty green.

Also as to my title, after I did the grass I drove out to the store real quick. There was a detour so I had to use a different way. Funny thing too, because it was the hilly side of my 6-8 mile route.  I haven't run that in forever, and I remembered it fondly. So I thought today since I woke up before my alarm why not get an early start and go a bit longer today.  So I got up, and that is what I am doing.

So what else is going on??  I think of many things a lot before I get out of bed. I think of me, and what I've been asked to do. I think of you, and I see the impossibility of my task.  It is a crazy story, and it is nutty. There must be something how it goes on and on that keeps people coming back, or staying or whatever it is they do. My heart is 100% assured in my path. My path was right, and it was good.

I know after being judged harshly it was hard for me to start up the journey, but I did. I had a lot of support back then from Barb and Beth, but I was still scared. Getting judged is brutal, especially for how I was way back then. I wanted to be right, cuz I wanted to feel secure. It was what I craved most. Being right is not in our power, and I guess that is another lesson learned. Being poor in spirit can leave one very vulnerable. So I suffered through some stuff, and what I wanted I got. Security. I didn't need to be right/perfect or whatever. I overcame the 2nd time, and the security I craved I received.

So I walk freely. I have no capability to be perfect, but the acceptance I wanted I got. During my bad Summer I had a great set of eyes. I saw many things, and most judged me. I am bad I am not good. These days nothing judges me. I see things and my heart is happy and content with them.

It has been quite a ride, and the dead years were really dead too. I never really talk too much about those years do I?

So how does this all relate to you, and what you are supposed to do??

Lol.  Not sure.

My story is for me. I am supposed to help you in ways I think, cuz it is my job. I do as my heart feels, cuz that is whose will I do. Not from my knowledge and understanding, but I am a vessel that can be used for this, and that is what is done with me.

You have your own self to deal with, and that probably isn't always easy, cuz we can't be perfect, so what is our best foot??

Anyways I guess that is good.

Have a good one.  :)


Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Laterzzzzzzzzzz. :)

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