Good Morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I think back to a time after Heimleblog, and before the Journey. WOW, that was a hard time. The reason I thought of this was my common theme lately of not being afraid of any of my past. Overcoming all fears, and doubts. That really wasn't the case always was it??
I remember being afraid of being judged. I could barely go on. I needed to be right, because being judged sucked too bad. Then I had the Journey, and the end of the journey, and I knew good was done, and the wait started up right away.
What were the things done to me?? Those who didn't believe, and those who did bad. What are people afraid of?? They have seen things in their past. They are afraid to look at the truth of their life. I remember a common theme of Natalie was she was never good enough for her Dad. Her Dad was one of the most self educated men ever. He even told me he felt he was probably one of the top 3 smartest people in the World. Something like that.
He wanted to learn and know everything, but that is an exercise in futility, because it isn't going to happen. History books are colored in some angle, you never ever really get a true picture. He was great at Math, but all levels of learning don't reach a finish line.
Anyway I remember the acceptance of Natalie by her Father was a big driving force for her. He had his life though. His life wasn't perfect, and he felt cheated, because of all his learning nothing but good should have happened.
His arrogance made him step down from his Hospital Administration job, and being middle-aged he never found the same high paying job. He dabbled in day trading, and lost big.
The thing Natalie never understood was the acceptance she longed for was not because of her. She was a tremendous person, but Her Dad had his own life, and worries to overcome, and that took all the time he had, and he wasn't able to be the Father he wanted.
Katrina had other issues with her Dad, and those are the ugly parts of life. Things we don't want to see,and things we don't want to hear.
I did bad things to Natalie too. When she was in Denmark though my heart was broken. I wrote her letters every day, and she would write back like once every 2 weeks or something. When she was in Denmark, I met Cathrine in Eau Claire, WI. We talked, and shared beers. We became pen pals, and she wrote back often too. :) We talked on the phone a lot too. It was always a platonic relationship. Cathrine had one of the most beautiful faces ever too.
So anyway there is a lot to life. We will surely be disappointed in things, because our life will not be perfect. It will never live up to expectations. We may feel jaded, due to unfair things, but you know there is an end. Life will not be fair, and good things don't always happen to those who work hard.
Like I have said though, I have come a long way. I have traveled great distances in my mind. I was led on a crazy long journey, and I never ever in a million years thought I could be strong enough to do what I do, and be who I am.
My Journey was solo, which always makes it hard. My hard walk will not be without good things. Good promises, and things not yet received.
Anyway. We have a long way to go. Yes people have definitely made this harder than it needs to be, but all is possible, and I guess we will learn the power of forgiveness, and hard journeys do go along with learning a great deal.
Life is about a lot of things. Don't confuse, and don't box yourself into one little thing that means almost nothing in the grand scheme of things.
Oh well. This was long. I didn't mean to write this much. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. It is Brandy's birthday today. yay. :) *the girl* ;)
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Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D