Saturday, June 15, 2013

Coffee And A Blog...

Good Morning all/me, how's it going??   Me, I am doing pretty good I guess.  My coffee is done, and I am going to get it.  I will brb.

anyway, I am up.  I am not going to work today.  I wasn't going to blog, because I really have nothing to blog about, but what the heck,  that doesn't always stop me. 

How strange this blog is huh??  I have gone over 1000 posts on this dumb thing.  I am blind many times as to what I will write, but I search within myself and stuff comes out. 

I guess it helps in someway,. but it really doesn't do much either too.  There is a plan that is going to be done.  It sure isn't my plan, although I have always known the last thing I must do.  That is the one thing I did know.  I didn't know the other stuff at all.   Heimleblog and Journey, I had no idea.  Those blogs were filled with hard days.  Heimleblog especially.  Almost every day was hard then.

I wonder why that was??  What did that accomplish?? 

Want to know why I have kinda a laid back attitude??  I know there is a plan.  I know it isn't mine.  I know it will be done, and there is nothing I can do to change those events.  In that way there is very very little I can do. 

I know this, and I accept this.  I am not going to change the course of History.  I guess in some ways I am a part of what will happen, but that is for no reason at all.  I could be anyone.  It doesn't have to be me. 

I guess if you look at the big picture I am someone, but I am not really.  I am not special.  I am not deserving of anything.  I suffered stuff, and people sometimes feel life owes them for some of their hard times, but life owes you nothing.  The end of the Journey taught me one thing.  No matter what I do, I am still not the one in charge. 

All decisions are not mine.  I went up to the ultimate turn in the World.  There was no one there to see but me.  What I wanted was for sure not the one thing I was asked to take. 

I said, "If it is your will I will do it"  

Now that was the ultimate turn, and no one has the strength to accept what I was willing to accept.  I went up against the judges for the 2nd time, and this time it wasn't accepting what I deserve.  This time it was accepting God's will whatever that might mean.   In this case something very bad. 

That path was narrow.  I would not have won without help, just like the night of the hospital.  I was going to my death, and going to Hell.  I was told I can save myself, but it will be at the expense of others.  In my heart the strength came, and I was not willing to save myself at the expense of others. 

"Your will"  Then I waited for my death.   Yeah it was real.  It was real as Hell, and then I woke up the next day.   That was one of the biggest surprises of my life.  After the 6 days in the Hospital, I had to suffer other things.  Then the energy came back. 

So my road was hard.  Those who have been given a lot a lot is expected.  I have been given a lot.  I have seen a lot, and in some way I guess I have done a lot.  I don't know all the things I have done.  Have I helped people in some way?? 

I guess, but I am such a small cog.  An  insignificant piece to the puzzle.  I guess there is comfort in knowing how very little I can do, and how very unimportant I am. 

I have accepted all that has come my way I guess.  Even still I wish it was all over.  It has been a long journey to just get to this point.  I know after my final thing I will be at rest.  I have lived a long long time being poor in spirit.  To learn to trust in nothing but one. 

That is why it is better to have all your rewards sent to where it really matters.  If we were to have all the rewards here, we would think we were something special.

Blessed are the poor in Spirit...

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!    :)))

p.s.   just cuz.  :)))

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

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