Good Morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am ehhhhh, so so. Today's post will probably be a downer, because in real life the truth is a downer, and this is all I have today.
Anyway the story of my life is one where I had to learn things. I had to learn my true place in this World. Who am I? What does this life mean, and what am I worth, and what is a life worth?? What value is there in any/all the things I do.
The answer is there is no value whatsoever in anything I do on my own. The downer of life is you get zero points for pretty much everything. Anything you put your mind to, may keep you busy, but you get zero points for it.
Being a parent you get zero points. There are no points to be had with what you do on your own. You want to put a value on yourself... well some do, by working hard. Whatever form that may be. The form is really a kind of sacrifice, because our lives are filled with doing things we don't want to do.
How many of you people are looking forward to going to work on this fine Monday morning?? You will go, because you need the paycheck, and stuff, but chances are you would rather be doing other stuff.
The World is a really bad place. It is set up in a really bad way. It is set up in such a way where people are miserable a lot, because, well it is life. A lot of the Shit we do is stupid.
So the thing I learned that is the HARDEST to accept is our lives on our own are pointless. We neither have the strength nor the intelligence to do what is good, because we don't really know what is good in the eyes that matter. That is hidden from us.
As a matter of fact the times when I did the best things I have ever done, I thought I was the worst person, and doomed to... well you know. These things were hidden from everyone's eyes but one. My work was for no one to see. There were no pats on the back from any people.
I have a running total of many many points. All based of suffering for things that were not in my plans. I have walked blindly for many years. It hasn't been easy, and it hasn't been fun.
It seems right now you are smack dab in the middle of your own journey, because very very very little of what people do impresses me.
You don't nice your way to a better you, because you are not 100% nice. You don't work your way to a better you, because.... ughhhhh duh. You don't eat, drink, or anything your way to a better you.
There is only one way to a better you. You know the direction. No matter what you portray as a person doesn't matter. We are trying to get to the truth of you. The stuff below the surface, and maybe even perhaps the stuff you are afraid of.
I am trying to help, but you really have to meet me halfway. You know??
I am not a real fan of Triathlon, and race reports and stuff like that. I can be a fan of you though, but we have to get to you, you know??
I try, and I need you people to believe, and trust, and accept the hard lessons you have been taught. It isn't easy, I tell you that. Chances are if you do the right thing, you will have a tough course, but it is the right way, and it is a good way, and you will be given all the strength to do the tough stuff you need to do.