Monday, June 13, 2011


I have no idea what the heck is going on, but something weird.  You don't want to know all of my secrets... trust me.  I know some things I would really just like to keep to myself if possible.  I am sorry I forget I forget I forget.  This blog is weird.  I have been doing this a long time remember, and sometimes I forget how weird this is.  Then I remember.  A day hanging out at Beau's, and Jacob stopped by.  Blah blah blah we are talking, and I say hey do you know my brother died???  He goes how would I know, I don't read your blog every day or something to that effect.  I was like just because my blog is weird, you can't tell me your sorry about my brother???  He apologized, etc...   I forget this shit.  I write every day, and trust me I forget.

Some things you don't want to know, are what is inside me.  You don't want to know trust me.  I know how this ends kinda.  Why it has to be like this I don't know, but this is the story.  Why was there an ark??  Why was there a cross.  Want to know where I have to go???   I have to take up the cross and follow where the best went for 3 days.  Yep, remember afterwards???  An earthquake??  Remember Proverbs when a slave becomes king the Earth cannot stand, or something.  In Heimleblog on a bike ride home, I once caught a glimpse of the power of a slave becoming king.  That there is one who is the king of kings suggest other kings right???  An honor to be bestowed on one.  I guess I am giving all my secrets away huh??   Want to know what I was told after the hospital when I was empty, and going through a physical depression??  He told me not to watch t.v.  Weird huh??  Wanna know why??  Because I had to overcome something and learn something.  The one unforgivable sin.  I said if I am doomed to go to hell, please let me accept it as something I deserve.  Yes I am doomed to go to hell... for a while.  With no salvation in sight.  You can learn a lot of stuff from the red letters, and that was my journey, and that is my journey.  Remember it is spiritual though.  So a sword isn't a sword so to speak.  I think you know that. 

Weird I have to do this huh??  Weird I have to live with the best, and the worst in me huh??  The best overcomes though.  That is my final suffering I talked about a long time ago.  A long time ago.  I knew this had to be done during my summer of discontent.  Where I was judged every second of every day for the summer.  Every second.  I had maybe one good minute that whole summer.  I don't know what the weird shit going on is, but it isn't good.  You cannot hide stuff, and I think that is what some of you are doing.  I know a lot of bad shit, I am pretty sure you don't want to know.  Trust me it will go well for those on my right hand side.  Even if I get mad.  Because we will make this shit work.  When weird things like whatever has been happening this weekend happens, then it affects my training, because I am wrecked internally.

For the record my anger at my wife, was really anger toward my neighbor being a dick again.  I misdiagnosed it, so I apologized to Lisa yesterday.  No biggie.  We are cool.

All is possible, which makes what we can do pretty insignificant.  mustard seed, and move mountains.  We are not there yet though, but we are getting there.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  ya'All are still cool.  Stay strong.  We got this!!!  :)  Some might not though, so strong is honest.  The one thing with effort we can control.  Cory Schroeder I do not give enough credit, but I think he is one of the most honest people.  Sometimes being honest means we have to be a dick.  Trust me honesty is better than fake nice.  Honesty he can work with, fake nice is ick.  :)  Beverley Smith too, out of nowhere she comes for support.  Out of nowhere.  A strong woman. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxo

Wanna know who I want to give extras to today???  Maggs of SSB.  I think she needs them.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D

slave is really about being enslaved to sin.  fyi

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