Tuesday, January 24, 2017

This May Get Deleted

Good morning. How's it going?   I am doing pretty good. This week seems to be going better than last week. I was tired last week. I guess if I wake up thinking of what to do after work, that is a good sign.  My title cuz I don't really have much on my mind. I don't mind giving it a whirl though.

So anyway, yesterday was a day.  I got some stuff done after work. A couple errands. Picked up BOGO burritos,  and had a few beers it's not a bad way to do Monday. I don't really go out often, but it is fun.  I don't think I thought of anything particularly interesting.

I do realize I am pretty uninformed. I had to ask, "wait so we have a new President now right?"  I am pretty dumb. I wasn't even sure what all the protests were about. There were a lot of them,  and they seemed peaceful.

I guess my life still is the same. We were talking at the bar at how we used to pay attention to national politics,  but we stopped for the most part.  It just makes you mad. I don't pay attention, cuz why spend your life mad?  

Bad things may happen down the road in life,  and I am ready for anything. I pretty much expect bad things in the future, cuz maybe life with people isn't even sustainable. War, greed, anger hostility. Arrogance,  and my side is right. Your side is wrong. My religion is right yours is wrong.

I've learned that really all is wrong, because people aren't right. It's hard to question what we never did our whole life. People grow up expecting life to be a certain way. I realized in my path I found out life isn't a certain way. Life is one big lie. It took much for me to learn the truth, and it wasn't from me reading books, listening to the news, getting degrees. My summer in the wilderness was without social networking too. There was a time when that wasn't a thing. To be honest I didn't watch one bit of TV. I didn't drink any alcohol. I basically woke up and walked. I went to work. After work I would walk. I'd sleep for 4 hours,  get up and walk again. Day after day. I felt guilty in everything I did,  because I was scared. I was judged internally pretty much every second. I was wrong, but I needed to be right. I needed security too,  cuz it is hard being scared every second.

It ended with trial one. It wasn't fun. I still had to suffer some after too. That physical depression was brutal. One night the energy returned,  and I knew my labor was done for awhile.

It eventually started back up again. Overcame the 2nd time, and now my heart is right. I am not perfect,  but I am strong. I am open and can be seen. That has been my strength. Eventually I'll give that up too, but I'll have help. I don't think I'll be afraid,  because I know I'll have help. In the end I cannot do anything for myself. If I am to be saved it will be from the strength of the one who overcame. The little hidden secret. I have to walk in his shoes,  and then I get understanding. I will need a new wine skin to carry my new wine inside,  because who and what I am now will not be able. If I think of who I am now to what I will be it is pretty crazy. I am nothing compared to what I will be.

My job was to learn the Spiritual side of the message. It gets confused by all. Just something like the sword people didn't know. There is a lot. A coin etc...

I battle people really, because we,all are at one time tied to the World,  and it takes a lot to not be. We can't do it on our own either,  cuz hearts are tied to the World. You are not strong enough to overcome that.

That is part of our problem too. We are strong and can do great things is what we think, but really you need help. A lot, cuz all of us as we stand now cannot be the finished product. That would not be good. Me too. I am not scared though,  because I know my story. Overcome 3 times, and I am done. I've already done it twice, and it wasn't by my strength or wisdom. It is from my help, and now I trust even more, because that needed to be strengthened too.

Oh well. There is a lot to my story. Wouldn't you like to know yours?   It isn't what you think. Your choice to find your story. Your choice not to either. You have good info though. It is yours to use or not.

Anyway, I think I'll check the weather and take Hope.

Have a good one.  :)  sorry so long.  :)  not really sorry.  :)

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