I don't really have anything to talk about, and not sure where this will lead, but things seem strange. I am going to get some coffee, and I will brb. Once again I guess I probably had a bit of a doozy out there. Your life. That thing you do. Maybe the scariest thing of all is your life is you. All that we do and all that we think, all we have hurt, and those who hurt us are things that make up our lives. That is stuff that is fascinating, and maybe that is like the last thing you want to show people.
I told this story before, but after Katrina and I broke up, I was working with this really drop dead gorgeous pretty blond girl. I don't know if girls can relate, but guys can... the type of girl you feel is out of your league type girl. Anyway we were talking about God knows what. This would have been early 90's btw, so Lora and I were friends, and I was on my honesty kick. I remember the #1 thing I would totally love to be to that hot blond was fabulous. Ooooh, that would have been cool to show her how awesome I was. :) I was fabulous. You know what I did?? I told her my last girlfriend who I loved, I cheated... or would have if she didn't walk in on us. Those damn parties at my place. Where do these girls come from?? ;) When all is said and done being honest is fabulous. Being Tiger Woods fabulous don't mean shit. Who can be the real fabulous?? Not very fucking easy. Takes a lot of guts probably, because we want people to look at us in the mirror we show them. We don't think they would like us in the true mirror, the one where we open up and show them the true us.
That is where you need trust. Trust that honesty, and truth, and all that other shit is good, and leads in the right direction. When we show our true selves we do not feel very confident, because we all do shit wrong, and In our mind's eye we have a view of what is right, and we sure don't live up to it. We all walk that same path. The path of I am not as good as I would like to be.
Being focused like a Junior Seau is great, but when it is over than who are you?? You know??? Better figure out the fucking life thing. I'll tell you what it is, it is not an easy path, because life's struggles help us become strong, as long as we deal with them and don't bury them.
So as tough as you all probably think you are, you ain't done shit yet.
The race of life is all about you you and you. You matter because there will be a day when YOU breath your last.