In order for me to graduate College, I had to prove to Illinois State University I could write. I wrote an essay, which really ended up being a precursor to what I would do. I was to look at life objectively. Upbringing and all. I said I had to, because of the example I used. If I grew up in a small town in the South. A racist town of all whites. I had relatives who were all racist, what would make ME not racist?? Nothing. I would have to look at life, my upbringing, everything with an objective eye, because, what if things are wrong?
Examples I didn't use. What if I were a 20 year old German in 1942. What might I have done??
If I were a KGB agent during Stalin's reign of terror, how many might I have purged??
You see you guys have a good set of eyes. You have to believe what you see, because truth is truth whether good or bad. Life is life, and a lot of times it is bad. Look at Anne Frank's life. What was she 10 or 11, and the rest of her life was in hiding, until they were found out, and she died in the camp. She is one of my favorite people I have read.
I see stuff is coming to the surface for you. You don't want to believe. You want it to be like the old days, where everything seemed simpler. Well, those days are done, because we have to do this.
Look at my timing. I graduated College in 1990. My step-Mom died Christmas of 1991. I was in the hospital of July of 1992. I looked at it. I believed, and I did what I did. You can trust, because look at me. Am I dishonest? Did I have fun?? Do I have fun?? I suffered through some stuff for a reason. I plan on suffering through some more stuff, because I have to. I am not afraid, because I have one who gives me courage. I was scared at the end of the Journey, remember I deleted everything, and wanted to hide, because I was being judged constantly as being bad. I had help overcoming the obstacle. Now I have help again, and I think you know what I am talking about.
Trust.... I have been through it. This ain't easy like I said, but whose life has been easy?? Did you want to be one of those Chinese people who ran over the kids in Tienanmen Square? I know you don't want to believe what you see, but you have to. You just do.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
I know this may be a tough day for you, but stay strong!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I am going to take Lisa to a movie today. The Hereafter. seems interesting. Hope it is good. :)
Now for really really cya cya cya!!! :)