Friday, November 26, 2010

Back To The Old Drawing Board!!

Well, I had everything figured out.  I knew something had to be done since 1992.  I thought it was done.  I look at my life for clues.  What does it mean to me.  My life means more to me than getting a paycheck, and working.  I really thought something was going to happen.  Guess what??  Something did, but not what I thought.

So what does that mean for me?  It means I need to keep on living life.  I lived this whole summer like my life was going to be over in a way.  Well, I am still here just as I started.  So now what? 

Well, here is what.  I have no idea what my future holds, and I have no idea what your life means to you.  I am as lost as can be.  I have absolutely no idea what the heck I am doing.  So what do I do?  I do the only thing I can do.  I live life.  For me that means back training.  That means trying to make sense of Lisa and my life.  This journey, I thought was over still goes on. 

I'll tell you a little bit about my race.  The little boy was there alone.  Anyone who runs races would be thrilled to win a race.  I was sad, and I was alone.  So this show goes on.  That means I start training again.  As far as I know that means Riverbank 25K, Bayshore Marathon??  perhaps....  Fall Marathon.  Running Group, track.  Hills, snow, outside running, and maybe even push ups again, and that blasted trainer.  That also means me doing my job at work.  I may have to kick some ass.  :)

That means my life goes on.  I thought I was this butterfly that was going to die, but this butterfly has a longer life than most.  Why???  Because with God all is possible, so this butterfly gets to live on.  I guess I will wear this colorful jacket for a bit more, and for some more races. 

So through all the bad I do, which I do plenty.  I can be a dick, good can still come out of it.  At least I get to train again... starting tomorrow.  :)  I am freaking tired right now.

If anyone worried about me I am sorry.  I am honest and open with my thoughts on here.  If I am blue, or happy I let it out.  I try not to say scary stuff, but life sometimes is scary. 

So I guess this crazy ass blog that this crazy ass person writes, lives on.  I got some blogging to do, usually early mornings, and I got me some training to do.  I gots me some races to run, and a sub: 22:00 5K to get next spring. 

I really thought I ran my last race.  Nope!!  I am happy about that. 

One thing I did learn about myself is if I think my life as I know it is ending.  I pretty much do the same crap.  :)  Basically be a moron.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has and is having a great and awesome day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!  :)

p.s. I hope none of you are mad at me, cause I seriously seriously only tell what I feel here, and what I think.  No matter how looney!!  :)

now for really really cya cya cya!!!   :)

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