Tuesday, September 29, 2015

I Guess.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I was not sure if I was going to do this at all. I woke up a couple hours earlier, and felt great. I had a good night sleep. I still wasn't sure about this here. My early alarm went off, and I said screw it, but I had to go to the bathroom, so here I am.

The weekend was a bit strange, because after work I was tired both days. Sunday, I got a lot done, and I had less than zero interest in what was going on in the World. Wherever my phone was is where it stayed, because I did not want to see anything. That is strange for me. I'll at least check things out once or twice a day.  Maybe more, not really sure.

So I was off. I kinda knew it yesterday too, cuz I wasn't particularly interested in anything again.

What do I make of life, and the people who live it??  I think people are arrogant. They are either very fake or think they are a helluva lot better than they really are. If God so loved the World and yadda yadda yadda, I don't know why he would do it for the likes  of you.

In all your glory and wisdom lies a weak person who has absolutely nothing going for them. You speak the wisdom of fools. You cling to shit that is absolutely worthless, and you should be insecure. Why should anyone like you??  What are your redeeming qualities?  You people are shallow and weak, and I do not get you at all.

So go on with your ways of ignorance. Keep doing whatever the fuck it is you do.

I am going to take Hope for a run. It is my first run since my injury, and that doesn't matter. It is good to take the Hopester. She is better than most/all of you, and she is a complete fuck.  :)

Now that is a blog entry.

See you assholes.

Friday, September 25, 2015

I Spose.

Hello, and good morning.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. I thought about sleeping more, cuz I was tired, but my wife is snoring like a freight train, so I spose.

We are currently finishing up another week. I get to sleep in tomorrow.  :)  my life is filled up with days, and there is nothing terribly exciting or significant that ever really happens. We dealt with another death, but already that seems like a long time ago. It has been interesting talking to my BIL and wife about this year, as their lives changed some.

Even still our lives move on. I told Brian he has a year where in his alone times he will think of these things, and maybe there will be some sadness to deal with, and actually probably will be. After a year everything is different. It won't be so sad. You never forget though.

I think guys like their alone time. Greg does, and Brian does, and I like being in my own head. I don't know if girls are the same or not, or maybe that is just too  general of  an assumption about all guys being like that. Not sure.

Anyway life goes on. My knee is 200% better than the start of the week. I don't have any pain, unless I try to bend down on the floor. That ain't happening.

Next week we start another week, and I guess we will see where that takes us.



Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

Have a good one.  :)

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

A Funeral Is Where Life Shows Itself.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. The schedule for everything was kinda screwy so I had to stay up later than I'd like, but whatever. You see a lot of life at a funeral, and you get to see people. Life can go on for decades, but eventually someone you know will die, and you will see how it affects others who knew this person.

A funeral is the playground that life is played on. Sheesh you can look back after a day like that and take inventory of what is important. It is times like this you can trust your heart to give good council. All the other Bullshit in the World carries no significance when you see a person go into the ground.

That is where we are all headed anyway.

On a day like this I think the most important thing for me is I don't want to see my wife cry, but she did. We had to put animals down before, and her mom died a few months ago. There was not a lot of sugar coating at this funeral. They didn't make the man out to be a Saint. There are assumptions made at funerals about what goes on after, and that is all it is... Assumptions. People really don't know.

I won't get into that so much, but it was a day filled with life, and some tears. Anytime you have a day filled with life that is a good thing, cuz most of the shit that occupies our mind is dumb and pointless anyway.



Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)

Have a good one.   :)

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Are Weekdays Better Than The Weekends?

Seems to me the beginning of the week are pretty good things. My schedule is kinda screwy on the weekends, and it seems by Monday everything is normal. It could also be our 10 day forecast is just completely nuts. Sunny and highs in the mid 70s as far as the eye can see.

Who knows??  Yesterday was just flat out fun. I rode  my bike to work and back even though my knee is jacked. I am pretty sure I have a strained tendon, because walking is what hurts most, but it is getting better'ish. My BIL is in town for Melgert's thing, and it is always fun to have him around. General tomfoolery increases quite a bit when he is around, so we each had some drinks and hung outside. I wake up early, so I had to call it an early evening, and have no idea how late the youngsters played around.

Anyway that is the way my life turns. Another day in the life. If you think about me you kinda know me, but then again you don't know me too well, cuz you cannot walk in my shoes. You cannot see the World through my eyes.

Wanna know something I don't know??  When I do my final thing, and finally be who I am going to be who will you be??  That question has never been answered. My journey was solo, and I did it for selfish reasons at first, and up against the judges it was selfless answers that saved me. When there is no hope, and my end looked really bleak, the answer in my heart was God's will.

So many things I've been through I cannot possibly relive it all.

All you get now is just me. I do this for people, but they don't get it. So what if we were born in this World destined to be on a path that is not the best??  You have that in common with everyone else. You are one of the lucky few who has a teacher who teaches correct things. Most fall for the trap laid by false teachers.

I know my way is good, cuz my whole life is for this, and it truly is the only way to happiness. I do know a bit of your inside having once been like that. I know you seek more. The answer is right in front of you, but you didn't know it would "seem" so hard.

That is just you though, cuz you have no idea your heart can be changed.

It can, but not by anything you can see.

You only have me.   :)



I have a ton of time, cuz I am driving to work. I have to leave a little early for Melgert's thing.

It should be another good day for me, but my wife, and her family will say good by to their Dad. They lost both Mom and Dad this summer.


Monday, September 21, 2015

Time Stood Still... Well. Not Really

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I take a quick look inside me, and I gotta say not bad. I slept great last night. I had a deep heavy sleep, and I thought it was close to time to get up. It was midnight. So I went back to sleep again, and slept good again. I woke up figuring it is time to get up. Nope 2:00 AM. The last hour took forever too, so needless to say I am well rested.

So what is going on with me??  Not much. Sadly I know some things about life, and I know where it all ends. All the things we pass our time with = zero points. I don't care what you do, and what sacrifices you make, and how great you think you are compared to everyone else, the meaning of life is different than what you think.

Don't tell me about not being fair, cuz I know. I was shocked, and floored that long time ago when I found out the truth. I knew what a big deal it was, and I knew we all fall short. So I do my little thing. Get on the right side, only to have everything taken away, and told to go solo, cuz you are very very far away.

For me I found the answer. I knew what I have to do to get back on the right side of being right. Follow the one who went before me, and who others did too. Not to put another number thing, but it probably hasn't been done in centuries. One just need to peruse history to realize that to be true, cuz we would know.  We have no shortage of scribes Pharisees and hypocrites though.

You want to know the unluckiest day of your life was the day you were born, because now you have to find your way. Against all the World will want to teach you.

The numbers aren't great, and statistically it is pretty impossible, and the only reason is we are wrong, but we think we are right. We'd rather believe the World cuz it is an easier message. You can bet the truth is scary. I lived it. I faced my condemnation many times. I've gone up against the judges, and I had no way to win, except I was helped at the right time. My heart was given the courage to say the right thing at the right time.

So as you try and hold onto your life, which actually means nothing, cuz it is just a Worldly life I accepted my fate as the judges handed me. Condemnation, and a fate worse than any other the 2nd time.

It is funny too, cuz the worst of the worst is currently trapped inside me. He will get out as I go to do my final thing, cuz he is unwilling to go where I am going. The one who went before me is my strength, cuz I ain't all that.

I can tell you that much. None of us are.

So on I go doing my thing, and on you go doing whatever it is you do.

My blog is the wait, and I have been patient, but I may start losing people, cuz at some point you jus gotta let people go. I don't want to waste my time reading how great people are, and how they've mastered life and the World, cuz it isn't the truth, and you are wrong.


Saturday, September 19, 2015

Where Does Life Go??

Geesh, I was just thinking where does life go??  Yesterday after work Jacob, Beau, and I stopped in after work for a few drinks. I thought about this earlier this a Summer, but I've known these guys approaching 20 years. Like 18 or something, and that amounts to half their life. Crazy huh??

Before them there was the Miller Lite gang. Back in the day 4 of us would drink copious amounts of Miller Lite on the weekends. Do you want to know what my mind was like back then??

Those were the dead years. Back then I knew I still had more stuff to do, but the story of me was closed up inside. There was no heimleblog, and I didn't know there was going to be. Just a guy living a life. Making mistakes along the way, because you know, I still thought the World worked in a logical manner.

I was still through the eye of the needle, because that happened decades ago, but rarely did I think about it, cuz it was the dead years. I knew my job was to overcome 3 times, but I kinda thought I probably overcame twice AT LEAST. Little did I know.

Funny how things definitely for sure were started up during the running blog days that I know, and maybe even before it.

I was at a visitation with Melgert, and that side of Lisa's family. Melgert is now dead, and his brother Ken's wife is dead now too. Crap Jackie is dead, and my brother is dead.

Where did life go??

I don't know how you think, but my life is in good hands. I don't have questions, and it is really good to be me.

What a crazy story huh??  Totally not of my making, but when I gave up my coin, which is everything, a whole new coin was made up for me. It was hard, and terrifying, because I battled the dark forces of the World that are invisible to the eye. Being poor in Spirit is to be open for any other to come in and wreak havoc, but I had to learn who controls all things, and I had to learn to trust.

So it is a coin of learning, and truth, and all good things like that. It is a coin of strength. I am not even done yet. I still have one thing to do.

Wait,  what is it again you do?




Friday, September 18, 2015

The Final Memories.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going???  Me, I am doing okay. Sometime last night after my usual silliness, Lisa's Dad died. So she has lost both parents in a short amount of time. She was close to her Mom, but not really her Dad, but it is her Dad.

My final memory of Mel and Marge as a couple were one Saturday working at the grocery store Marge was complaining about Mel. On his best days Mel can be a bear to live with according to his kids, and Marge lived with him during his worst. So she had some humorous things to say that one Saturday. Humorous to me anyway.

As it so happens the following Thursday after depositing my check I saw them both. Marge was getting ice cream for him at a near to my bank ice cream place. Marge and I exchanged a humorous couple lines about the Saturday before. I touched Mel's arm and told him to take care. I then got rained on as I biked home.

If you look back on Mel's life there isn't much. He had 3 kids he should have probably done much better with. 2 wives, and as it turns out I like Marge better than I did Jackie. A life approaching 80 years, and nothing to show.

That is what the path of us amounts to. You do this life thing for several decades, and then you die.

Look back at your life now??  What does it amount to??  What have you accomplished, and who cares???

Me, I haven't done crap, but I have done, and am doing what I am supposed to. Right now I am living like Adam. An imperfect person who has no clue what it means to eat the apple. I stand naked to all the things a person is "supposed" to be. It is not in my power to be perfect, and I am not. It is in my power to be secure in the garden of Eden without a worry in the World.

The choice is yours. A life of nothing the Mel way, or the life of little significance in the way I teach. It comes to a choice.

What you "think" is important versus what I know to be true.

A life of you compared to a life of giving of yourself.

A life of meaning versus a life of not.

I see the path of all lives after this last decade, and it leads nowhere but the grave. I don't think it wise to head to the grave without accumulating any points, with which you are absolutely powerless to accumulate.

It is still up to you though.



Thursday, September 17, 2015

Another Day Down The Drain

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I slept all the way to my early alarm, and usually I wake up before it. I thought about sleeping in, but decided to just get up. I have Wisa Wisa sleeping on me again now. Crazy cat.

So let's see, what have we told you in so many words??  I told you mr and mrs normal that all of you have a split personality. We hide things more and more as we get older. I could tell you more, cuz you don't know the half of it.

There are many many things I learned that one summer way back when. Basically I learned life is pretty gross, and I learned the World hides the bad stuff, and tries to color everything as being good. I accepted all that was true way back then, and still at that point I was many steps ahead of you. Now I am even farther along.

You really are in the same spot you were a decade ago, and it is quite possible I've done this for a decade.

So where do we go from here??  That is entirely up to you. Do you want to stay the same person, and not face the truth of life, or do you want to see everything and learn everything??

Staying on the same path is just leading a life that will not fulfill you. There will always be something missing, and maybe the most important part is you do not know you.

Anyway this is what I do if I feel like getting up early.

So whatever. I can always say more, but everything has been said really, and you are afraid of what I've taught.

Sorry about that, but my days of being afraid are gone. If you have fear, carry that as a good thing, because there is a great promise with it. If you don't have fear, then I am afraid you are more messed up then I thought, and there may be no help for you.




Wednesday, September 16, 2015

What A Novelty...

I love my early/late alarm thing. I was so tempted to just sleep til my late alarm, but decided to get up. The main reason is energy. I can get up now, and start my day like I had 5 cups of strong coffee. I could sleep longer, and still start my day like I had 5 cups of strong coffee. It is why I don't drink coffee anymore. It won't do anything for me.

So I thought about myself, and I think two things about me. Just this silly person who does silly things. Me having fun doing what I do. Then I thought about the other part of me. What I do. This thing, and what I mean. I caught a glimpse of my significance I guess you could say, and I was like WOAH!!  I don't normally think in those terms.

Mostly I just kinda do what I do, and know everything will turn out fine.  I am not sure if I think too too much about how it is to be you, but I know I am lucky. To be so many steps ahead of you hasn't always been that great. I hid a lot for a long time, because it wasn't time to tell my story. Sometime during the journey it all opened up. Oh the things I've seen.

So I have many many many things to be thankful for, and trust me I am.

You have a job to do, and it won't be easy. You have to battle the two sides of you. The one that thinks you are "good enough", and the little voice inside that wants you to be the best person you can be.

It is not an easy struggle, because one side is stronger than the other, but the weak side has to win. Deep down you really want freedom. You want to be able to stand up to the World, but your side that overpowers you wants no part of that. The light it has no use for. Even though it overpowers you it is too weak to stand up to the World.

Then of course we all are busy with our day to day stuff that is just weeds keeping the truth of life out.

It is very very good to be so much further along than you. My story took decades to come to light. I am almost done with it too. Just waiting on you people.

I kinda chuckle at my new rule too. The you have to come to me thing.

Funny funny.

All right I am out.




Tuesday, September 15, 2015

My Mind Is Empty...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I was in a pretty good mood yesterday, and not even really sure why. Just cuz I guess.

I have absolutely nothing to blog about. I mean less than my normal nothing so I don't know where this is going. I am up though, and this is what I do.

You know one of the lucky things about me is I am a good tree, and I cannot produce bad fruit. Do you know how freeing that is??  I don't have to pretend to be this and that, or worry about what he or she thinks, cuz I have a promise all for good.

Someone as imperfect as me can be used, because I don't do the work. So one of the biggest burdens of being a person has been lifted. I don't have to worry about filters, because EVERYTHING is in stronger hands than my own.

All this stuff I KNOW to be true, although all this is hidden to you. I have a real story I have told, and all of it remains hidden, except for what I told you. There will be a time when I finish with my 3rd and final thing that nothing will be hidden, and everything comes to light.

It sure would be so much easier if things weren't hidden huh??  There is something about this World that makes everything harder. Our job is to go the way of humility, but our hearts are born arrogant. It is not in our nature to go against the grain.

So I know some things need to be done. My blog is the wait, and I wait for these things to be done. Every life has a story, and it gets buried by the World. It takes a lot of courage to let the World know us, because we aren't perfect, and either is our story.

The World may judge us, and so will people. The courage needed to stand up to the World is a gift needed, cuz none are that strong.

We can hide behind our Worldly successes, but unfortunately those = zero points.

To win the game of life you need to do other things than you think. Things you cannot do on your own, because as great as we think we all are, we still are too weak to do the tough stuff needed.

Anyways, I think I'll take the hopester now. It should be another good day.  :)



Monday, September 14, 2015

I Have A Limit.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, u am doing pretty good. I was able to watch the bears game yesterday, and they didn't look too bad. GB had a couple lucky plays in my opinion that may have turned the game, but who cares. The Bears shouldn't do anything this year, and it is just sportsing anyway.

I sleep like shit Saturday night, or didn't sleep at all once 10:00 PM rolled around. No reason I just couldn't sleep, and I had to be at work by 3:00 AM. Work was fine, but when I got home I napped a bit. I woke up still tired, and watched football.

I have a limit of drinks that is my max. It is 4 drinks, and I had 5. Oops. :)  I slept it off. I have no secret, but I never really get hungover. I never get a headache from drinking. I can go years without taking an aspirin, and I think currently I am on year(s) since I've had one.

Just stupid boring shit about me. Perhaps the non boring part of me is this here. This blog. Something I have no idea how it looks to you. One thing of me is I know where people stand. It is way different than where you want to stand, and where you think you stand.

So I guess I am the only one who blogs anymore, and that probably is because people have no idea. No idea where you stand. No idea what a good person is supposed to do. If there was one thing you could do to make you the best person you could be would you do it??  Could you ?

There are humans, and there is a best a person can be. It is a great divide between the two, and impossible for humans to make that jump. Seems if it is impossible then the people just try to color themselves as something better than they are.

You can just read your heart too really. There is no way that is the best a person can be is it??

So how does one go about making those steps to becoming a better person. For one thing throw your coloring books away. You aren't kidding anyone.

It is just the truth that is asked of you, because through the truth you will find answers.

You kinda gotta give up your omniscient viewpoint, cuz none of us are.

We all have one thing in common. We are not as good as is possible. I am currently better than what I would have been, but not at all who I want to be.

I will get there though, cuz I did win, and now everything will be done for me. Everything already has been done for me, but I just had to learn how weak and pathetic I really am. :)

Anyway just hitting something down.

I have a cat sleeping on me. :)




Saturday, September 12, 2015

Gotta Love A Good Sleep.

Hello, and good morning. I had a couple of days of good sleep. Yesterday I zonked pretty good for an hour after my early alarm, and today I zonked til 6:00AM. I fell like a million bucks. Today I am having a cup of coffee. For no reason I haven't had a cup in a few weeks, but it is chilly, so I thought I might enjoy the warm drink.

Other than that very little going on with me. I think I have a slightly pulled muscle in my right tricep area. It hurts when I carry trays, and I carry a lot of trays on any given work day. I really noticed it yesterday a lot. I think it is slightly pulled cuz it hurts like a bruise when I touch the muscle.

Today I work for around 5 hours give or take. Depends on how much there is to do. I will pick up something to cook for dinner after.

I did think of some things this morning before I got up. I was able to see a bit inside people. I see how your life looks. You want to feel happy, and you want to feel content, but there is a slight problem. Your heart is being pulled, and I am afraid that is not in the cards right now. For some of you it won't be in the cards anyway, cuz you will take the wrong path, and your heart will remain hard and angry. You will find no forgiveness, and you will not be able to forgive.

Others will take the proper way, and that too is a hard way, but it is worth everything.  So when people are all dark inside, and they cannot or will not share of themselves, I guess I was still able to get a bit of insight. Without help this thing was never ever going to work anyway, because I can only do so much, but with help the sky is the limit.

So I see the avenues before you, and I see how everything appears to be a dead end, except this one impossible way. It is the way of your heart, because that is what needs to be fixed, and isn't that a great conundrum. Us humans can do so much, but there sure is no exercise to give us better hearts.

So what can one do??  Either pretend they are better then they are, follow the path of lies, or do the scary one. Seek the reasons you are as you are. Find out about you.

I told you the truth ain't no joke, and I told you it was hard.

I guess we will find out those who have the courage to take the right path.




Thursday, September 10, 2015

Yesterday Was Just A Good Day.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??   Me, I am doing good. Yesterday was just a good day. I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out, because even though I got up early, I might have wanted to sleep more. I did my pretty normal take Hope for a run, and bike to work. Before going to work I thought about my day coming up, and it was work, and basically do what the fuck I want. I thought that isn't horrible, so I was in a good mood. Plus I had an easy day at work, and was able to skate out a bit early.

I made a new friend, who is a partner of another friend who I never met. We did some sportsing things in the past. Anyway I added him in a sneaky way in the past. Sometimes I just do stuff via Twitter. I don't put a ton of thought to stuff, and just do as I feel. Anyway her name is Laurie Berry, I am adding her, and trust me, she is loaded with personality.

So on I go. I am getting rid of silly stuff in my blog, cuz keeping it is just silly. I don't put a ton of thought to stuff, so it may have been silly for years.  :)

Back to the  old drawing board I guess, but what remains is still good stuff.

Other than that today will be much like yesterday. Work will be a full day I am sure, and I have to run a couple errands, and then I'll do what I want. Typically when my day is over I don't want to do anything, and that typically is what I'll do. I did ride my bike up to the local grocery store to pick up something I wanted for dinner.

Just a day in the life.  :)



Laterzzzzzzz.  :)

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Taking A Step Back...

That is sort of what yesterday was about, and maybe the 3 days before it too. Just taking a quick look back and thinking Holy Hell some things are just silly.

So whatever, on I go. I got a pretty good night sleep last night. I went to bed around 8:00, and woke up an hour before my alarm, and just relaxed a bit. I thought of some things, not really sure if anything was real important.

I did think for me death has no sting. It isn't anything I am afraid of, but I would feel bad for Lisa. I think that may be a bit significant, because others probably worry about that stuff maybe, but I have no idea.

I lived life long enough, and seen enough to realize life is what it is I guess. Yesterday I said a sentence I thought was pretty true of me. I work, I eat, and do whatever the Fuck I want. I don't look toward Politics, cuz why would I??  I have no time for that crap. I don't do religion either, cuz that is a big waste of time. Nope, I do what I want, and don't spend any moment of my life worrying about silly things, as far as I can tell just make people mad.

Life isn't this end of the rainbow great thing, but I got no time for all those "smart" people who just waste their time in empty pursuits. I work, I eat, and do what the Fuck I want.

A free life I guess.

So anyway as I looked back at this blog I realized what a mess it is. This blog must be important, cuz why else would I do it??

I also thought a few days ago the table turned. It seems I reached out, but now the people have to come to me.

I don't ... That would have been a lie. I was going to say I don't like to waste time, but if I am not working that is probably the one thing I most like to do.  :)  I don't waste time on empty pursuits though, so I am pretty strong on my own you know??

Anyway, I am just jotting shit down.

Laterzzzzz.  :)



One other thing I just thought about is why if you have one life would you want to be invisible??  Scared, so you bury your coin in the ground??  That is what that is.

Okay gotta go now.   Cya.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

What I Did On My Summer Vacation.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I got a lot of sleep last night, but still thought of sleeping in. :)

Anyway, my title. Took Hope for a walk, fixed my other bike, did laundry, and dishes. I may switch out our kitchen sink today, or maybe 4 months from now.  Lisa found a good SS one from work. It just needs my plumbing expertise, but I am a guy, and pretty lazy when it comes to doing shit around the house.

I read my last two blog entries, and figured they weren't horrible, and wondered why people hate me. A day in the life. To win you have to stop clinging to stupid shit and grab the truth. It is hard, but not that fucking hard. Truth wins, and bullshit dies.

So, other than that I don't have much else besides my stupid glaringly silly signature line.

Before I start that I am giving extras to Brandy Walker. She is Doreen's friend, and I like her. She has a kid I never liked any photos on FB of, cuz I don't do kids. I don't look at pics on FB, but when I first became friends with her I "scouted" her out.  She is fun, and hot, but I am married, and my heart is into other things. I love her though so Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo for her.  :)

She is as good as they come.

That is invisible

Thanks for being invisible.

Hope everyone is invisible b

Wish she was invisible. FB gets bombed everyday with 900 things or so.

Love You All. Probably the best thing I've done.

p.s. You are invisible.

Yadda yadda yadda

Who cares??

Extras aren't horrible.

Extras aren't horrible.

Luv ya's are good.

The mwah part is hard, cuz it is a married woman, and I don't know how to make that right. I haven't given her husband or kids anything either. Seems pretty inappropriate, but I want to give her something, and that is what I came up with. What can one do?

Triple smile is invisible, as is the double D trust thing.

Dumb ass fucking blog right??

I think so too.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Do You Ever Stare At The Title Part, and Nothing??

Today is starting off like most days this week. I sleep for 5-6 hours, and am up. I lay there and relax, and maybe think of some stuff. I still have plenty of time before my early alarm goes off, but then. I doze off again, and the alarm wakes me from a deep sleep. Decisions decisions??  Sleep more or get up. Usually I get up and no biggie, but today I decide to sleep in. I doze off again, and wake up. If it is 3:30 I am going to stay asleep. It is 3:12, so I guess I'll get up.

This is the reason I am up now. This is the reason I am blogging though I have nothing to blog about. So we will see where this goes.

Yesterday I had a day like the day before. A little run, a little bike, and a little chill out. I sat on my chair, and did nothing. I had a pretty good day at work. It was easy, and I was done early, so I helped do a couple things I might not normally do.

Other than that just a day in the life.

I think the crazy thing about life is we all get educated. We all are pretty smart in ways. The World has been going on for a long time, and doing just fine without us. We accept the World, because the World is bigger and stronger than us right??  It's been here forever like Country, and Society, and all that crap. This shit is all right correct?? I mean why wouldn't it be??  It is the World.

So you accept it blindly. You are your parent's kid, and they are their parent's kid. In my life I stepped out, because what if  I am wrong??  What if the World is wrong??  I didn't put a ton of thought to it I believe, but for the first time life came at me full force. I saw my life for what it is. Something that leads to death. I saw the World with a pretty decent lens, and you know what??  I was like what is so great about this place??  It is dirty.

So what is one to do??

That story has been told to death, but what is different is how we feel on the inside. You want to feel a certain way all the time. You want to feel happy and content, but why can we not control that??

How many things do we accept just cuz??

  1. Who made borders??
  2. Are those right??
  3. Why private property??
  4. Profit motive always =good??
  5. Our Country is the best. (Insert country you were born in)
  6. Our country does good. The end justifies the means. 
  7. What is the ends??

If you get down to life we all are born on a path to blindly accept a lot of stuff. We go out and seek a niche to try to make a name. Perhaps be part of a group. 

It is a big deal to blindly accept stuff when it is our life. It isn't the World's life, and maybe the most devious thing that ever was done to us is we accepted our part in the World. Everyone told us we were good. None of us are perfect, but that is okay. 

We don't have any questions, but don't worry, you don't need them. 

The secret to the whole World is it wasn't our fault, but we are born wrong, and we need to find right. 

Okay, I gotta go. 




Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Just Some Things I Guess...

I sorta thought of a couple things yesterday. Maybe I thought if a lot of things, but I think in our hearts we want to be free. To be able to do as we choose. Maybe some have a yearning to go to Walden pond, and see what living like that is.

Who knows, but life doesn't really let us do it does it??  Many people decide to go the kid route, and now your life is no longer your own. Now your 'I's need to be dotted, and 'T's crossed. You cannot be the free carefree kid you once were. You are now a slave to your income, and actually we kinda are anyway with or without kids. You have to be a certain way to be accepted by the World.

How can anyone even get out if that web??  Most things are impossible for us lowly humans. The World overpowers us as do our demons. We are scared of what the World will do so we live a lonely existence, cuz no one knows you, and your life us way to busy you don't even know you.

Then we all have this screwy thing in our head that says we are good. We are smart, and we control the Universe, and I am going to show people I am special. I will do this one thing.

We aren't special. We are kinda like ants doing our jobs, cuz we are supposed to, and outside of your ant colony is something way different. It is better than anything you can imagine.

I found my way out of the rat race, and incomprehensible to me is I have to help others. It wasn't what I asked, and maybe not what I particularly wanted. I won life. I found the way, and life was good. Then it was all taken away, because it was deemed better I go in the loser's bracket to go for the win. This path is way harder, and way scarier. It wasn't easy, because I wasn't walking by sight. I had to go through a lot of things, and I did. I survived the loser bracket, and ended up winning. The loser bracket is a bracket of learning, and a bracket of humility.

So when I get home from work, and I ponder what now should I do??  Should I sit outside, although it is a million degrees outside. Should I watch a tv series on netflix??

I just sat in my chair, and did nothing. My heart was fine, and content by me doing nothing, and I wasn't bored.

I wish you could see how things look outside the ant colony. You would not be disappointed, but if only there was a way. Obviously humans are not strong enough to escape. If only there was some help. If only there was someone to teach us this stuff.


That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I should have a pretty easy day at work today.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'all are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Because I Can...

I live the way I do because I can. Things are not always what they appear on the outside, and for me that truly is the case. I have no idea what it looks like for outsiders looking into my life, because I do not have understanding. Knowing all about me though I know what I can do. Life is a balance I have said before, and none if us hold the scale. I think I have protection from going past the balance point too much. I live life like a person who wants to have fun, but I still get a good amount if sleep, and I feel good most times.

If I were to translate how I am compared to how you are there is no translation. How I am is incomprehensible. You have no way to walk in my shoes, and I have no way to explain really.  I am not a person enslaved in my former self. I am a new person. Not the same as I once was. It just so happens I have to be changed once more to really be who I want to be. Being who I am now isn't horrible.

Want to know who I am??  I am the person who has to be faithful in unrighteousness mammon so I can be given the good stuff. Seems like I have to be an imperfect person, and still do good work, and that I am able to do. To get past 2 of
my 3 trials is when the blessing I received before the first trial took hold. To finally be secure in who I am. All the things one may strive for in life I don't really do.

My heart is helped with doing this thing time to time, and then just living life. Who you see here is typically who you won't see outside this area. I am different daily after I do this. At least I think I am. I don't get in any conversations I don't believe in things you may read here. I think this here is the better part of me, and outside of here, I am pretty much just regular Steve.

That is the way I see it.

Anyway yesterday was a pretty good day. I plan on having another one today too.  :)  also my last couple runs have been good and fun.

I think I'll do another.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Sometimes I am floored by people's bravery. I've read Charisa's blog for a long time now. She has let us in on a lot, and she uses her filter in a pretty great way.  Almost like she doesn't have one. Her story and her are more important than whatever the World will do. I like it.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D