Let It Rain.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was a pretty normal day for me. I did a few things, made a simple dinner etc...  We got our gutters up, so I am ready for rain. Not so much though, cuz our circular tiles might be here today.

I guess I am glad I have a few projects still to do. Ideally I'd like to work a couple hours after work, and then chill. I think I've done better at that this year compared to years in the past.  So that's good.

Not much else really going on. Today is another day. It's Wednesday so it's a work out day. I'll run before work, and that's about it.

I was pretty irritated a couple days back. It happens. It's good sometimes in a way, cuz I can clearly see i am kinda a dick. It is one of the things I guess I noticed. In my mind I guess I thought people should be nice, considerate etc...  you learn about people though,  and who can be?

I also know I searched for Saint attributes in people. Is there someone I should try to emulate?  Try to be more like them. My wilderness days taught me the folly of that thinking. There definitely are no Saints. No one has the ability. I saw clearly how fake the World dresses everything up. The World in all its glory does not lead to happiness,  cuz it all is fake B.S. 

I remember clearly seeing walking by a park in Normal,  IL picnic tables and such. There may have been a picnic going on, I don't remember. I remember thinking what fake B.S. something like that is. Here I am being persecuted 24/7. Learning what the wilderness could teach. When dealing with condemnation everything seems so stupid. You can clearly see there are no points in stupid shit like that. I at this time was already mostly spirit, so it was with good vision I saw zero redeeming qualities in myself.

The truth was my friend so it was easy to accept this about me. The truth leads in a better direction than any falsehood.  The World is all false so, what are you going to get from it? 

Even to this day I see clearly what the World is. It is the wilderness,  but it dresses itself up,  so no one can see the truth. No good deeds are being done in this place. Our hearts aren't perfect, so it is easy for us to be assholes. You want to seek out the good in the World, and those with Saintly attributes I can help shorten the search. It isn't here. You are in the wrong place to find that.

Do you ever look in your heart, and wonder why you aren't a better person?  You can't fix it that's why. There are no exercises,  sacrifices, disciplines,  anything to make hearts better. Yeah you have thumbs,  congratulations. You were smart enough to be born with those. You were also born into a World where money is placed in such high importance. You can't make your hearts better though.

People know that about themself too, so they hide. We cannot show others our yucky insides.

Anyway, I guess I better get going.

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)