A New Day.

In the morning is a good time I guess to take inventory. Did I do anything stupid yesterday?  Probably, I do almost every day. How do I feel?  Pretty good. I feel like I want to do stuff today after work too, so that's good.

The rain psyched me out yesterday. I was ready to bike to work, but it started raining. It looked pretty shitty all day too, so I had nothing I wanted to do. I checked for movies too, and they already started. The weather was warm, so I chilled for a couple hours.  Most of the day highs are in the 60°s as far as the eye can see.

Yesterday was an okay day I guess. In life there probably is  pressure to be cool.  A cool meter I spose.  You listen to Nirvana, and Pearl Jam, and whatever. I like other shit too. I like soft rock.  I feel it brings back memories of maybe the tougher times.  The things that made us sad are like canker sores.   It hurts to touch it, but our tongue can't stay away.

My life has been gone through with a fine tooth comb. There is nothing I am sad about. I don't miss anything or anyone. I can stand comfortably on my own two feet, and I am fine with it.

I guess I am kinda indifferent about life.  It's just something we are doing. We'll be gone before long. Enjoy your time while your here I'd say, but that is easier said than done.

You have to ask and answer the tough questions.  Does your life matter? By all means no it doesn't matter.  Can you accept it?  Are you special?  No, not at all.  No one is. An ending of 6' under is everyone's final act, and I don't give one flying fuck what you did, the most time you will spend is with the worms. 

A happy heart is one that is fine with their lot in this wilderness. That isn't easy either.  Back in heimle blog days I entered the wilderness again,  and I gave up.  I couldn't go back there again. I cursed God for my life.  I was pissed for having to live this stupid thing.  In a vision my spiritual heart was taken that night.  Fast forward a decade or so, and I find myself in the wilderness again.  This time i am more than happy to be here.  No biggie.  My heart is fine with it.  I accept my little place in this World with the full understanding I do not matter. I am cool with it. On my own I hate this place. (The wilderness) With help it's all good.   

We all are born with a false view of life.  Taught false values of everything.  As we live the truth is nowhere near. You've lived a lie. Everything seems so easy to me now, cuz I am way far removed from how you are.  If you recall before I hated how hard my life was.  It was such a struggle.  So much suffering. So much hidden suffering, and now it doesn't matter.  In a scale of importance I am not much better off than the worms.  Cool by me. 

This life is dumb, and I can say that with a happy heart. 

Anyhoo,  guess I'll call it there. 

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

Luv Ya's.    :)

xxoo.    :)

MWAH.    :)

Lols.    :)

Laterzzz.     :)