Good morning. How's it going? I am fine. Yesterday went okay. Nothing too crazy. I think I'll keep my Wednesday workouts as my easy day. Easy means 3 sets of everything instead of 4. If I feel good on Monday and Friday I'll do 4. The weather threw me off yesterday. I think I was psyched out it was going to rain, so I didn't do shit after I got home. I kinda didn't want to either. It was perfect weather after work too, and it looked like shit earlier. I am not sure what today will look like.
On the other hand it is how my life is anyway. If I don't wanna do shit when I get home i don't have to. There isn't really anything I have too pressing. I don't have any responsibilities either. That being said I think my day is more successful if I do some shit around the house after work. I added an hour detour on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday however.
Other than that not much going on. One hard part of life is you don't always feel the same after work as before. You start out the day at 100%, and after work with 10-15 miles on your feet you are down from 100%. I find if I start a project though my mind can flip a switch that basically takes fatigue away. Kinda an inertia thing. Once you start your body keeps going. I think I know this, but sometimes I lack discipline.
Let's see, anything else going on? Nope, what you see is what you get. A guy with a life. It's pretty simple, and probably not very entertaining. It is filled with normal shit most people have. I know the truth of this life however. We kinda want it to mean something, but it doesn't. We aren't doing any good deeds of anything important. We come from imperfect families, and that will never change. I think one assumption is the older we get the better we get. Like we develop better attributes, but not really. The problem with us is our hearts aren't very good, and we cannot really improve them. You can't fake that shit either.
I think that is one thing I know to be true. If that is true then what's our purpose here? There is no purpose. You basically accidentally were born here. You try and make sense of it, like why? Can I make a difference? The day to day nonsense in this World means nothing. 0 x anything still equals 0, so all activities trying to accumulate points still equals 0. You can't make value where there is none.
Then you have the problem people can't accept this fact so they pound a square peg into a round hole, and the finished product still is zero points. There are no Saints around you, and you didn't miraculously create one.
So the only available avenue is to dress things up. Why would we do that? Cuz the truth seems too hard. Too sad. How can happiness be achieved if our lives actually mean nothing? Just cuz you can't imagine it doesn't make it impossible. What is impossible is to find meaning in our lives in this World. Few ever grasped that truth though. Unknowingly I took that path to learn this stuff. I was really given no warning either.
In the end everything turned out fine. I blindly followed along, and everything came out fine. It was totally worth it. To grab my little spot of insignificance with an upbeat heart. The truth is hard cuz it means you don't matter. How can you turn that into happy? I guess happy happens when your heart isn't filled with fairy tales, and everything else that is untrue. It makes everything pretty easy. No more striving after wind.
Anyway, I gotta go.
Laterzzz. :)
xoxo. :)
xxoo. :)
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