Wednesday, August 31, 2016

It Still Seems Warm.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am fine. Yesterday I was tired when i got home. Struggled to keep my eyes open, tired. So it ended up being a pretty lazy day. Also I've been waking up in the middle of "my" night for an hour or two. I fall back asleep eventually, and am tired when the early alarm goes off.

My mouth hurt quite a bit yesterday at work. It seems much better now.  Like turned a corner better. Injuries and pain take over the majority of our thoughts seemingly when we are burdened with them.

I am hoping to use this current situation as a spring board to more stuff later. If something is taken away, and you get it back, it is like getting your life back again.

That is that. What else is going on??  Not much. I always wake up every morning,  and I wonder what the day will hold. I don't have a ton of responsibility. Work, and sleep good,  as that typically will make us more productive. If there is one change I'd like to make in me,  it would to do more at home when I get here. It seems like that may be coming around. Just not on days when I can barely keep my eyes open.

As you can see my life is pretty easy. That's the way I like it. I am not disappointed in life, cuz there really isn't any great thing about life. Trillions have done it, and all end the same way. Here today and gone tomorrow. Forgotten right after.

I wonder if people think they are making some type of difference as they are living??  That would be a pretty foolish way to look at things. This World is not perfect. In fact far from it. There are systems in place that are wasteful. There are news channels on tee vee that are wasteful. Not doing any good.  I feel Politics to be a big waste of time.

As a matter of fact I guess I like the labor I do each day. I do shit every day. As to other BS it has no bearing on my life. All this shit that is a waste of time.

Eat, drink, and be merry. That is your lot in life. Everything else is just folly. These are words from a person who did more than anyone. He saw all human actions = zero points. He saw what a waste it all was. He also saw eventually people will be held accountable for accumulating zero points. A grievous task for those having to acquire points.

I look around the World and all are sitting at zero points. It is how life is. We don't do anything important.

I am not sitting at zero points.  There was a story I had to go out and make. It wasn't my story,  and I did not lead the way of my labor. The hidden way I found. A story that took decades to make. A lot of the time were just dead years. The bridge from what I've done to my labor continued. Now many years are into this "wait" blog. I assume it is the bridge from where you are now to where I am. Eventually culminating in the end of my story finally.

This area has not been hard really. Just different. I thought it would be much easier. Like more people would come along. More than none anyway.  :)

Now I cannot even fathom what it all means. If we are in the wilderness though than there is little of significance. I guess we all try to cling to something.

I was mostly spirit when I spent my time in the wilderness. All I had was fear. The only thing which helped me believe I still am in an okay position. Fear I thought was good,  even when there was nothing good in me, and a stupid World I lived in.

That was about all I had those days. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. today is another day. I have a feeling it will be like most others. 

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D         :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.    :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Where Does It All End??

Hello, and good morning. How's it going, I am okay. Had an okay day yesterday. Work went fine. My mouth is starting to feel better. I caught up with my wife on season 2 of American Horror something or other on Netflix. I watched the first season on 2 days last week. It is pretty good. I ate a good meal, and read a bit before bed.  Time moves quickly, and it seems there really isn't much time to the day.

Sometimes it is impossible to not pay attention to the news. Standing to a song is not important to me. It means nothing. Standing to a piece of cloth means nothing either. All people in all Countries do that type of stuff I am guessing, and not one person has a say in what Country they were born in.

Your Country has nothing to do with Religion. Your Political correctness amounts to zero points. In fact Nationalism is one of the isms that bring War and killing and stuff.

Through humor people made us laugh. Seems the lessons of Ferris Bueller,  and Joseph Heller can be relearned.

I'd like to tell you what Country you were born in is of little significance, actually none. People have been giving their coin to Caesar since forever. In the beginning I guess other things were more important.  One came to say that is the wrong way to go about it.

People cannot really handle the truth though. You stand alone, and your groups are of no significance. It takes a lot to see where we really stand, and few are willing to take that step. Maybe none besides me.

Your life is not important. Your deeds are not important. You make no lasting mark. We are born into this World destined to be poisoned by the World. There is no way out. To teach a proud people the error of their ways is hard.

Everyone has walked in your shoes. A little person wanting to make a mark. It is kinda an impossible thing so you follow the pied piper aka (group) to a no good end.

You stand alone in this World. One day you die.  That is the jest of it. If you continue to hold onto Country and Society there is little help for you, and I lose interest in you.  You follow the same path as all others before you. You ain't doing nothing new.

For the record I am not a fan of Colin K. I don't think what he did matters in any significant way. Totally non news in my book. He isn't changing the World. Others made it newsworthy.

As to someone not standing for a song I don't care.  The last game I went to a game I didn't either. Not to make a point, I just didn't feel like it. It seemed dumb to do it.

People do cling to silly shit that doesn't mean anything. Getting mad at that stupid shit really is kinda funny and dumb.

You people have so much to learn,  but you don't wanna go that route. Who has the courage to throw all the crap out you've been taught since forever?? 

Not many.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. not sure what I'll do after work today.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D        :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Sunday, August 28, 2016

The Year Without A Santa Claus.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing fine. Yesterday was pretty okay I guess. I worked, did a few things around the house,  had a couple drinks, and went to bed early. Lisa went back to work yesterday, and now has the next two days off.

Life can be frustrating at times. You can second guess yourself probably every single day. Should I do more housework?  Should I read more?  Should I do less of something I actually do?  Those with kids who knows??  I suspect they do a lot of things that are not interesting to adults. They have kids though so you know.

On any given day I wake up thinking I want to do this and that. On my way home it changes to I don't want to do much. I wonder why that is.

I don't stress about it too much cuz every day is Groundhogs Day. I pretty much like clockwork wake up like this to start the day fresh. Many times I'll jot something down. I never really have much of an idea to what I write, but I seemingly have a never ending well to draw from.

Inside I am different than you. I am opened up. It is clear in me so all can be seen. I am not perfect like I've said a million times. That is for a later date.

I am just a guy who had a normal'ish life. Imperfect like anyone else. It is just I wanted better for me.  The person I wanted to be was out of reach. I was a fake smile guy, and a fake happy all the time guy. When I went for the truth it was quite a bit different than I imagined. I was an actor my whole life. I wanted to always be the nice guy, but I sure hurt people. I guess we are all destined to do that,  cuz everyone is imperfect,  and people will surely disappoint.

Life is imperfection. Life is disappointment. People will disappoint us, and we will disappoint ourselves.

I think back to my steps,  and my journey it is quite a thing. For it to be mostly over is quite a trip. Your story is different,  and I have no idea how.

I really am not sure how your tomorrow will look. I don't know what part of you disappoints you. I am not sure how life disappoints you as it does us all. I know I have a couple things that you don't have.

Hope, being assured of my ways.  No questions about my future. I don't stress about 5 and 10 year plans, cuz I am pretty sure all 5 and 10 year plans had me already done with my final thing the current version of me has to do.

Funny when I stopped the journey,  I deleted it cuz I went up against the judges, so I was afraid. Everything was bad. I could not reread my stuff. Out of nowhere I started a new blog called "the wait" 

You wanna know why I called it the wait??  It just came to me to do it that way. I dont really know why.  :)   I knew I was in a good spot. I knew I did good with help. I accepted the worst case scenario future for myself if that was God's will.

Both times I overcame, I  gave up my life for my friends.  That was the path all along. It started out a long time ago too. My first step was giving up my coin. At that stage it was just as major. I did much more after that though. Much invisible to the naked eye,  but it can be seen on this blog.

This is where my story comes alive. The rest of my day is pretty unremarkable, as am I, truth be told. 

When I stop with this I pretty much go on to do my day to day life stuff,  which typically is just as dumb as yours.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I have time to take Hope.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Back To Work, and Back to School.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. This week has been a week of recovery,  and little else. Time is a friend in these types of things. Every day past is a day closer to my new normal.

I am ready to get back to work, as that is about as close to normal as I get. There are a lot of things to do throughout the day,  but it is also fun just to sit and chill.

Everything amounts to zero points in the long-run so I guess find your happy balance, although that is far outside your power is my guess.

Life is busy. So many avenues one can take and so many avenues lead to the same place. Something lacking. You want to feel a certain way about yourself and life. You look around for a hero. Someone who did it. Their life must be perfect, and they must be always happy.

Your heroes put on a good act. They made you believe. Inside them still is what is inside you. Inside you is very dark so you don't really know yourself too well. What makes you tick you have no clue.

For little help to you, I do know what is inside you. I know why every day you fall short. All the best things in life you want are completely out of your power to reach.

Life is a destiny of failure. No one is at the pinnacle. The avenues you took to where you are today are the same as any other. You are no closer now to where you have to be. You wouldn't be closer either if you did anything different.

I've seen people make decisions that made their path harder. Many times it was a roll the eyes in the head type thing.

Life goes on though. My story goes on. Not that there is much to my story. It is almost done. For years I suspect we've been trying to get to your story, but many/all had just that one more thing to see about. Needed to check out that one more thing.

Your one coin you wanted to keep for yourself,  because what if there is something better than the truth I've given you?? 

A blind step you've been asked to make. You get very little help, but a view of a horrible World where all avenues look dirty. A view of your life, which has only one possible ending.

So many trophies and medals to win. So many cheers and applauds to strive for.  :)

LOL. If I could look into people's hearts I know a lot of what I would see. There is very little you would want to show. So we all are actors,  cuz the truth is just too brutal to look at.

Anyhooo. Back to work, and for many back to school.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I am gonna take that sad eyed little puppy for a walk.  She is such an asshole. 

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D      :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

My First 3 Days.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I got my new teeth on Monday so pretty much just recovering. I went from a horrible smile. Smile of shame to a perfect smile. I actually look in the mirror now, and it is pretty ridiculous.

I wasn't really nervous going into the thing til the day of. I came home. The bleeding stopped pretty quickly, and the pain meds are magic. Lisa picked up my scripts. I almost told her to not worry about the pain ones, but like I said, they are magical. I am probably done with them, but might take one here or there if need be.

I feel really good about it, cuz goodbye big dental bills. I know these things are usually looked at negatively, cuz bad hygiene and what not. I actually went to the dentist every 6 months, and I am one of the few who flossed every day.

Whatever. I walked the walk of shame for 1-3/4 years. I am no worse for the wear.

Anyway I finished the first Game of Thrones book, and watched the first season. I am on the 2nd book now. I am enjoying my downtime this vacation. I am not bored,  and I don't care I am not doing shit. It is actually pretty relaxing. I probably won't run til my gums are healed either, so I am really being lazy. I also am on a soft food /liquid diet as I heal. Gotta get used to things too, cuz it is different.

That is basically about it. Just being lazy and quiet.

The thing about walks of shame is they suck. The World looks at you in a negative light.

Maybe underneath us all is stuff if it was known, would start us on our walk of shame. Who wants to go on one of those?  

No one. The World dresses stuff up, and we like it. None of us are perfect, and we all have our own walk of shame.

Each their own story. In that way we stand alone. It is why most/all cling to groups. The truth of us all is some type of walk of shame.

Anyways, I am just getting something down. I know you miss me when I am quiet.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  today should be a pretty lazy day. Looking forward to a gourmet dinner of Ramen noodles and pudding.   :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Had To Check The Numbers.

I am getting close to 1700 updates on this blog. As a nice gesture I think it would be good for all of you to go back and reread all of them.  ;)

J/k. I can't think of a worse thing to do. Yesterday I had another day.  Nothing too significant. Work, eat, sleep. I did take another day off, but am going after this. I was tired, and still sore yesterday. Today I slept in, and don't have to be to work til 9:00, so that's perfect. Speaking of work,  after today I am done til next Saturday. I will have as many days off this week as I had probably since last February.  :)  Now that's funny. 

Other than that not much. Just doing this life thing. Doing nothing really significant. It's life, so there isn't anything significant to do. I know people probably don't realize that. You ain't changing the World. You are not the best a person can be. The time you spend doing whatever is time you won't get back.

In other words like me you just aren't that important. We are strange creatures that way. Our whole being and foundation is built on a lie. The true foundation is one of humility and meekness, yet your hearts are far away.

You seek for heroes in this World cuz currently you are not strong enough to live in a World where there are no heroes. Someone had to do something right...   right? 

Everything you think is progress probably has another negative side. Technological advances are not really advances. We can make better video games, but that is hours wasted. We can make better cars, but people drive everywhere. We can make better fertilizer, and that leeches its way in the ground and water supply.

There are less farmers,  and more cubicle workers. I haven't done any math or anything, but I bet a cost/benefit analysis suggests higher education is probably not worth it if you are taking out several thousands of dollars of debt.

Being enslaved to that kinda debt starts off your working years in a big hole. Financial concerns will be a pretty good burden. Especially since in life we want to have fun.

Here is a secret. Life isn't fair. Not one person you are acquainted with is a Saint. None are perfect. Your heroes aren't. People who get awards created by Society aren't heroes. They just did something society awarded them for.

All amounts to zero points as does our life. Points come from different things, and it is what you seek. To matter. To live a life that matters.

Left to your own devices = it isn't going to happen.

I go on and on though. I've done my labor. I've gone through my trials, and endured tribulations. I was able to throw everything away,  cuz I was led in that direction. If life pulled I listened. When the real truth of me became known I accepted. When I saw the World for how it is I took the only step that made any sense.

Still not sure what a lot of you are doing.

Anyhoooo,

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. I think I'll have another cup of coffee. 

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.   :)

Friday, August 19, 2016

I Have Absolutely Nothing For a Title.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going? Me, I am doing fine. Yesterday I was toast. I was sore as Hell. Shoulders chest,  etc...  my legs were dead. I could barely pedal home. I went to bed at like 5:00 PM too. Of course that jacked up my sleep pretty good, so I was up for a few hours at prime time doing nothing, but trying to sleep.

So today is Friday, and I have all of next week off. I really just plan on reading a lot. Besides that not sure. Probably mostly relaxing. Maybe some odd jobs that need to get done. I know it will go quick. I know I'll get bored probably,  but I think it will be good.

Other than that not much on my mind. You wanna know something of me??  As far as being a family member as we all are, I kinda suck. There are rules to how one is supposed to do these things, and I suck at it.

One reason is I am selfish. I've known that all along. The ladies of our family have been dead a long time, and Pejchls left to their own devices do just that. Whatever the Fuck we want.

I thought about that a bit yesterday. I have no shame, and no guilt. My path was solo, and unwritten rules just tie you down. Actually all lives are solo. In the end it is just you. You get no points for scoring 84/100 in unwritten rule points.  That will get you as far as 33/100. No one is keeping score. No one gives a fuck either.

You'd be surprised at home much BS clutters your mind. If you stopped to objectively ask what is important. You cannot do that if you hold onto stuff. Throw all your preconceived notions of life and family and everything away. Now take a look at this shitty place you call home.

The food supply is probably gross. What kind of slave labor is bringing fruits, and veggies to your home?? 

Don't get me started on fish. I don't even want to know. I have no interest to see how animals get slaughtered. I don't hunt or anything, but I do eat meat.

I find the Health care industry to be completely gross in the US. I have no idea how pills get prescribed,  but I feel the profit motive is the motivating factor.

Insurance is a huge mess, mostly cuz anti trust has not been followed for years. Not to mention it is a big bureaucracy. So much paper changing hands.

People wanted to help I guess at one point,  but now all are part of a flawed system.

Too big to fail,  so too big to fix. Everyone wants a scapegoat,  but it is the World. If you are picking sides,  than you are getting mad at the wrong stuff.

You should be mad this place is so imperfect. You should be mad you cannot do one thing about it. You should be mad everyone else is in the same boat as you.

Maybe you should be mad at you. You are far from perfect like all of us are. Your unwritten rule score sucks probably,  or else you spend a lot of time trying to make it a good score,  and it makes you mad at us whose score sucks. Also you are the only one keeping score.

In other words you all are Fucked.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. I slept in today,  so I'll have to do all my shit after work.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D        :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Where To Begin.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. I really have absolutely nothing on my mind, so there is a good chance I delete whatever gibberish may follow.

Yesterday I had a pretty productive day after work. I was motivated. Sometimes you may just find yourself going through the motions of life. Since I decided to try and get in shape for a 5K in 3 months I thought being active in all things will help. So I did a lot of little stuff around the house I may have normally blew off.

I was a bit tired when i got home,  so I rested a bit before I got started. We ordered lisa's favorite pizza for dinner,  and that was the day. I was starving too by the time the pizza came.

A day in the life. I still think foolish things once in a while. I was thinking of running twice yesterday. That probably would have been dumb. Today I am going after work. I did pull ups,  which were easier than expected. Since I haven't done them in a while. I didn't do a ton, cuz I know I'll probably be sore later today or tomorrow. Just a little something in the future can add a little spice to life.

Also I have next week off of work. Sunday will be my first day off since July 4th.  That should be a nice break. After that we have Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas,  and New Years.  A lot of days off as Fall, and Winter return. A lot of stuff to look forward to next year.

That is really about it. No great thoughts about life or anything. I do know a lot of stuff we pretend is important isn't. Streaks and anniversaries and such. I did this x amount of times. Not many have done that. This is our xth Anniversary. Who gives a FUCK. That shit makes you better than no one.

If you want a real number of significance try one. That is the number of times you will die. Same as everyone else. That makes just about everything else pale in comparison.

Many times people will try to show they nailed life in some fashion, but that is seeing how you stack up against other people. Your way of judging others really, so you can Polish the halo you wear.

Crazy crazy.

Anyway, I think I'll take Hope for a,quick walk.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. today should be pretty good. I have a super easy supper planned.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Yesterday Was Fun.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am okay. Yesterday went pretty well. If I have one complaint about life it is I don't always feel wide awake like when I get up. Many times when I get home from work I get tired. If only I could bottle up how I feel when I first wake up.

So life goes on. Life doesn't end really. I kind of did an inventory of things I should get done soon. Holy Crap it is a lot. Life is messy.

So many things to do. Once we are dead none of it matters. That seems pretty crazy. All these things to worry about,  and none of it matters when we are dead.

Life is kinda trippy that way. We are so busy with so many things, and they SEEM important.

Life goes pretty quick though. Soon enough we will all be dealing health issues of some sort. As we get older we tend to develop more illnesses. Some shit is invisible. We may currently be carrying what eventually will take our lives.

When the lady checked me out the other day she listened to my lungs. I was surprised how clean my breath was as I breathed deep in and out. Definitely no frog in my throat. I felt that was pretty healthy. I imagine it is from doing cardiovascular stuff. I haven't run a lot lately cuz my knee, but now my knee feels good.

I had a birthday yesterday. Mostly I don't give a shit about birthdays, but it was a milestone one. The big 5-0. I don't really make anything of it, except maybe I'll try to PR a 5K on Thanksgiving.

I started running relatively late in life. For my 40th birthday I ran my first marathon. Trained for about 15 more or something,  and showed up healthy for like 4 of those 15. Running can be a Bitch.

So that is what I thought. A 5 K on turkey day. I also have a fuck ton of stuff to do around the house. Plenty to keep me busy.

Do you find it kinda funny that so much seems important while we are alive, but once we are dead it isn't?  Life is silly that way. The truth of life is hidden. Actually the real actual truth of everything is horribly frightening. Mostly we cannot even comprehend it. A few times I've been taken to the non comic book version of this hidden stuff.

It ain't no joke.

I know I have to go there once more. The worst place ever. Now that I think about it the truth will be with me after. No more comic book version stuff in me. Just the real serious side of life.

Right now I am used as this imperfect vessel. This too is a test I believe, but it is soooo much easier than other tests, cuz I carry along some good promises, and I have a lot of help.

Anyhooo, 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I gotta check the weather. I think there was a good chance of rain.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D      :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Monday, August 15, 2016

Monday Is My Fonday

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I slept pretty good. I was tired as Hell after work yesterday. I hung outside with Hope,  and then cut the back yard. I'll cut the front today. We had tacos for dinner, and I watched a movie for a bit before falling asleep. I have a lot of housework to do today when I get home. That's about it.

I do have a strong coffee though to start my day. Other than that not a damn thing on my mind.

I am pretty excited about today for some reason. Living another day healthy I guess. Not really much to worry about.

The World goes on doing whatever it is it does. The World is a competition. It pits people against other people. Maybe that ain't such a good thing. Wars are started for whatever reasons. People get killed. People who were someone's son or daughter. People who may be mom's and dad's.

That can be pretty far away from us though. We have our lives. Our lives are filled with day to day stuff. Much of it boring is my guess. Life has a lot of dead time that can be filled with boredom.

A lot of unfinished chores. So many clothes to fold and put away. So many dishes to clean. Did we vacuum under the couch this week/year??  Toilets need to be cleaned. Cars need to be washed. Oil needs to be changed. Sheets changed.

There is no way anyone can get everything done. People sure don't nail life. That's for sure. Life is something we all fail at.

It makes you wonder, if we all are fucking shit up, and living imperfect lives why are we so mad at others??  They are in the same boat.

Maybe in life people think they are good enough, but not by my calculations. If there is a best a person can be you haven't reached it. Either have I. Trying to tell people they are not the best a person can be is something entirely different. The messenger needs to be shot. :)

Anyways I am going to finish early and take Hope.

Have fun.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. it is almost that time of year where I swear at the tee vee for the Bears playing like shit.  Yay.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Sunday, August 14, 2016

I Think Most Sentences Should End With ~~off the coast of Ireland ~~

That surely isn't done enough, and I think it is the #1 problem with this World.

Anyway, I got that off my chest. How's it going today??  Me, I am okay. I got a good night sleep,  and I'll be going into work on a bit. I like my Sunday routine. The first few hours I work alone. I try to get as much done as possible,  cuz it makes the day run smooth.

Now that I work every Sunday I remember I liked this job. It is low key. You have so much stuff you have to do, and if you have extra time you can do more. You are always busy, but typically you aren't under a lot of pressure.

Anyway, so that is that. I did think of a couple things yesterday. One thing is if I get sick there is a too much $$ amount that makes treatment not worth it. For me it isn't very high, because why should I live a life of high debt just cuz health care is so expensive. In that regard my life is not worth very much. I never thought of that. If I were you I'd stay healthy if you are like me, and don't want huge medical bills.

That is pretty much what I thought of yesterday. I worked, I ate, and I slept. Now that I had a health scare I wonder what I might do differently in my life. I decided to start eating yogurt every day. The way I eat now is kinda crazy. I may nibble on something before work. I don't really have much at work, but I'll typically have a bowl of soup. Then I eat dinner. I go to bed early, so typically I don't have late night snacks.

As to extra activities outside work,  I am not sure yet. We'll see. Now that I am writing this I sense a difference in me. I always had a dark cloud over my life. For a long time anyway. There is no future for the current version of me dark cloud. It seems I am not concerned with that anymore. So much is out of my control, so I might as well enjoy myself.

Anyways life will be very much the same for me. I do this. I live simply. There isn't really a lot on my plate, and that may be the mistake many make. Must do more,  more, more.

Then again my heart is pretty content, and that is not my doing. So in that regard you are hopeless. One of the best gifts in life is not yours to take. You cannot grab it on your own. It's a gift, not something you earn.

That is a tough lesson. We judge ourselves based on what others do,  and that makes us in our own mind worthy of all good things. You cannot see clearly yet though. You don't see you vs. just you.

In that regard you are just a thief. In the end we are headed toward judgement. It is really everywhere.

Anyway life is just life. Eventually we die, and that is probably a good thing. Can you imagine living for eternity in this World like a vampire?  Doesn't shit end up just getting boring?? 

In the end we just get old. Our bodies don't stay young,  and we get past our peak.

Then what?? 

Anyways this is probably a jumbled mess.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I still haven't watched one second of the Olympics.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.    :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha. :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Saturday, August 13, 2016

You Really Never Know.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am okay. I've been battling an injury/health issue. So much so I actually went to a medi center to get it checked out.

It started out of nowhere,  and there was some swelling internally. I figured that is probably not a good thing. I figured it might be expensive too.

I went through a lot of stages, and eventually came to the final one. I cannot do anything about whatever it is, so we'll see. I was ready for anything even if it was bad, and expensive. Even too expensive to not doing anything.

Turns out it is probably just an intestinal blockage. I felt better starting yesterday, and I guess I'll be okay. They did a test on my kidneys, and that came clean.  They poked and prodded, and no pain.

So that was good. My blood pressure ran a little high, but it always runs higher when I am at a medical facility. The guy asked me how much I weigh. I thought how the Hell should I know??  I guessed 170.

Normally this shit doesn't mean anything, but once your age starts creeping up I guess you start wondering.

Other than that not much going on. Working, and stuff like normal. I guess I've said I have the wilderness in me, and it comes out in here. The area in life where nothing matters, and there is little of value. I guess I am to lead you through this horrible area,  and without help I wouldn't be strong enough to go through it.

Back in heimleblog days I spent a few more days in the wilderness. I gave up. I cursed God, and said I cannot go back there again. I was pissed. To do what I have done only to be placed back there again.

I had no idea that actually, is what I would eventually do anyway. First I had to overcome the 2nd time, and as you can tell I still don't know how my days will look.

The night I gave up my heart was taken. It was like a dream/vision,  same as when I hit the alligator on the head  3 times. I didn't know exactly what it meant, but now I know on our own we are helpless.

The last few days I got a pretty good vision of the human heart. It is selfish,  and uncaring. It is how we all are. We all are enslaved to living an existence of WIIFM.

A life of WIIFM is a dead end life. You don't control your heart though. If you did you would make it much better than it is now. You cannot hide it either,  cuz your deeds show you how you are.

So for whatever reason we are going through the wilderness. I assume it is to tear you down. A human existence is one of arrogance. One that wants the pageantry and accolades one can receive from the World.

On this route we are going to get different things. Things you don't even know is possible,  and things you cannot learn from this World. There are no workshops to make you a better leader or other horse shit like that. Throw your self help books away. They are a pile of shit. I wouldn't be against burning all those books.  :)

HAHA

That is it for today!!!      :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. this weekend should be pretty good. Work, eat, sleep.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.    :D      :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

This Will Be A Struggle... Maybe.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I slept good last night. I watched some movies yesterday, and read some. It seems I had more time after work to chill yesterday.  I don't really do much.

I kinda am a bit hobbled. So much so Lisa is actually going to make a Dr. appointment for me. I have an unnatural pain/irritation in my back. It isn't like a muscle thing, but something internal. Like a kidney infection or something. How you pick those up is, anyone's  guess, but there are by my count like 462 organs in your core,  so who knows??  I know it is a bit debilitating,  cuz I am popping aspirin.

Other than that not much going on. Another day is done, and another one is starting. Today will probably be very much like yesterday. I have no problem with that.

This World is kinda a crazy place,  and our lives are pretty ridiculous really. At some point in time I think most people wanted to make their mark in the World somehow. Just so we matter. So this life isn't just a complete waste of time.

Personally I know we don't matter much. One of the many who called this place their home. We are born into this World as imperfect kids pooping in our pants. On our road to growing up we never get any closer to the perfect thing. We are good at rationalizing shit though, so we say it is okay.  I am normal. Maybe for some they don't think it is okay so they labor excessively, cuz that will give us the respect of our peers,  and it will help drown out our bad thoughts,  and stuff.

Life is failure. People can win at various World type things, but we lose the battle vs. ourselves every day.

These days I feel many people want to prove their Sainthood,  but I am not sure what people look at.

As I wrote yesterday I currently have the wilderness in me. In the wilderness there is nothing of value,  and that is the lens I look through.

It makes very little important. So I don't care about politics, and the ways of the World. It is of no use, and it is of no importance. None of that stuff leads to perfection. It is things people do to waste time.

Life has a lot of time, and in the end wasting it is what we do. Why???  Cuz there isn't much to do. Nothing worth any points or being worthwhile anyway.

People still deceive themselves though. Is there happiness if in the long run we don't even matter??  Sure there is, but not if you cling to that which is untrue.

Anyways, I am outta here.

Later.

Monday, August 8, 2016

A Weekend In Singapore.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am fine. I had a weekend this weekend, and even though my title might suggest otherwise I did not spend it in Singapore. It is on my bucket list though,  so that is something.

Anyway very little happened this weekend. I worked like I do every weekend. I watched some movies. Read some. I was also bored some. We ate some meals. Oh, I slept some too. As you can see the excitement never ends in my life. Day after day after day of this stuff.

Kinda funny you live in this World. You have this life which actually is kinda a crazy thing anyway. Was there a first person, or did the World just wake up one day, and there are a million people for no reason?

If everything has a beginning than what is it?? 

So we are all up here breathing and stuff. Lucky to not be living during the crusades. Lucky not to be a slave,  or a serf or whatever.

We have our jobs,  and many may not be very interesting. Anyway we have a life, and it seems we should be able to do what we want,  but the World controls us. Weird how we live in this strange place with our one life,  yet we are slaves to the ways of the World. It doesnt seem fair does it??

Life has gone on for generations and generations,  and it doesn't even really matter. People live, and people die. We spend our days laboring,  so we can eat. We get tired so we must sleep.

No wonder everybody is mad. This fucking thing better matter, cuz it goes on for decades.

Unfortunately it doesn't matter. We all are just one of the people who put their time in the World.

Inside me is the Wilderness. I never really knew I'd have to carry that thing I lived in that Summer way back when. Even the wilderness cannot bring me all the way down,  cuz my heart is too strong. It is a gift I received when I couldn't go back in the wilderness. No clue I'd have the wilderness in me.

I don't know how my days will pan out. I almost want to say it isn't easy being me, but I guess it is kinda easy. I just have no road map. I know of no one who is like me, although I know others were. Their stories are missing though.

In life maybe you see some sort of prize in your future. I guess I do too, but there is not one thing I can do to get me closer to it. I just have to wait. I cannot tell you how close it is, but I guess til the last year or so I thought it was close. Now I have no clue.

So I put in my days.  I try not to be bored. I don't really have anything to accomplish,  except I'd like a good steady positive cash flow. More incoming than outgoing if you know what I mean.  I'd like to stay healthy,  as those are the two best things for me now.

As to life it is a pretty boring thing we do here. We aren't changing the World, and either is anyone else. Just putting in our time really,  cuz there isn't anything significant to do.

Politicians don't do anything Generals don't do anything. Mom's and Dad's don't do anything. We are just imperfect people,  and in our wake we create our own sadness. We reject people who like us. Friends come, and friends go. In our younger years we wanted to have fun.

My turn took me away from family making, cuz that was not my purpose.  From where I stand now, and how I've stood for decades family making would have been ridiculous for me.

If I didn't know it before the wilderness, I sure knew it after.

Anyway life is a thing we do. Typically people think they have it down pretty good, and none ever probably realized they would need to brace themselves to hear the truth.

For most life is this this thing we should enjoy. For a few life is just a test. Can you find your way through the maze??

These days I am not really sure who the few are. I gather most think in some way they matter, but the objects in your bathroom mirror appear more important than they actually are.  :)

I thought of that yesterday.  :)

Anyhooodles,

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I think today is going to be a movie, and or read day. I need to cut the grass sometime too. I am over cutting the grass.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D        :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Friday, August 5, 2016

A Day Came. A Day Went.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am fine. Yesterday I had another day. I did switch things around a bit. I watched a movie, and then read my book. In order to keep life exciting you really have to make major changes like that. ;)

Anyhooo yesterday was another non drinking day. I made an easy dinner, and was able to fall asleep pretty easy around 8:00 or so.

So what else???  I know the most interesting part of my blog is how I dazzle you with the never ending fascinating things that fill up my day to day.

The Olympics are starting sometime soon. I don't really care. People who aren't heroes are turned into heroes by the tee vee. I find the Olympics to be one of the things wrong with the World. Not the athletes competing. Just the TV making these people seem like they are better than you and me.

They are probably better at some Sport, but big deal. That's just shit people do. They aren't heroes. They poop, and pee. They Fuck shit up in life like everyone else. If they win a medal they still die someday,  and their dead corpse has no use for medals. All things we collect, and place importance on do not stand the test of time.

There is one end for us all, and a wise person sees far enough into their future to realize not very much of this shit is important in the least.

Some may disagree, but really...  you do know in the real long-run awards collected don't mean shit right??  You only have so much room for trophies in your coffin. None if you are cremated.

These are tough things to look at though. We want heroes,  and we want to find something that matters. Are you strong enough to look at the truth?? 

Are you able to ask the tough questions??

Does any of this matter?  It amounts to zero points so I guess the answer is no.

Do I matter? In a World of several billion people you are worth 1 however many billionth as everyone else is. It is like one coin in a big pile of coins.

In even the larger picture there were many more people who called this place there home for a while. That makes the coin pile even bigger.

The World grabbed you when you were young. Said somehow you were important. Special somehow. You listened to the World as everyone does.

Out of nowhere comes this average person in all regards, who lived a life. Found the truth and accepted it. Labored with a labor that was not mine. My job was to tell the truth, and teach the hidden way that I stumbled upon.

Not a job I asked for,  and perhaps not even one I wanted.  It was my job to do though, and I've been given everything needed to be able to do it.

The "winners" are attached to the World,  and I find I have a listening ear from those who probably don't think they are necessarily a Saint.

I bet the truth is a nice thing to hear, cuz the truth states none of you are Saints. It is only the ones who know this though that listen.

The rest live in chutes and ladders land where the World is nice and cozy,  and you know??  Heroes made by suit wearers on the tee vee are just that. Heroes.

Anyway,

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  many people feel the need to hold onto the World,  cuz if that ain't real, what else is there??  You don't find out before the turn. That is why trust was important. Ya give up everything you know, in hopes of finding out stuff you don't.

I am afraid if you haven't been broken in life, chances are you don't have what it takes.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya        :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Movie Day And Stuff.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was pretty okay I guess. Work was fine. I have something wrong in my abdomen. It kinda hurts, but typically feels better when I am resting.

I don't know what it is, but if it is something bad that would suck. Yesterday I watched 2 movies when I got home.  I saw the Batman vs. Superman movie. I then made tacos,  and then watched the Hateful Eight. That was pretty much my day. I am going to drive to work today too just to rest whatever is my abdomen problem.

That's about it. An exciting day in this exciting life.  ;)

Oh yeah yesterday I didn't drink. As I am stopping it makes sense not to. I drank water. Although I wasn't really productive, but it was an okay day.

The days are kinda short. I noticed this last week during another movie day. Come home, and watch one movie, and it is time for dinner. Watch another movie, and it is past your normal bedtime.

I thought of just sleeping in, cuz I stayed up til 9:00 PM or after, but I guess I was awake by 3:30 AM, so what the heck.

It is why I am doing this thing even though I got nothing to write about.

I guess I can dig deep,  so as not to delete my dumb entry. :)

I take the barometric pressure of how things are going in life. How things are from what I write, and how other lives seem to be. People's lives go on. Day after day after day. I get the feeling people with questions can relate to this blog, cuz my life was never perfect, and either am I.

Many people want to stand up and smile , and say see me. I've made all the right decisions. One thing I know of life is it is never perfect. All decisions made do not lead you to the best place in life,  cuz there really isn't such a thing. All avenues lead something to be lacking.

Life is a movie that gets hyped up as we grow up, and those movies lead us to be disappointed.

A good question in life is you have one right??  You won't be doing this shit again??  How much of what we do is just a big waste of time considering we only walk this place one time.

Couple that with natural disasters and wars. Burglary, theft,  fights. You name it. Financial stress. Health stress. This one life we have, why is the World set up in such a way that anger is everywhere?? 

Shouldn't everyone be at peace cuz we share this brief moment in time together?  Plus we all have enough shit to worry about with death and illness, and natural bull shit like that.

Many people are filled with anger. Life isn't going in the best direction for some reason. My ideas are the best, and everyone else is dumb, besides these few people who take up the same rhetoric as me.

Do you know something about you. You are smarter in your own mind than the sheep who listened to Göebbels. You would never be like that. Your existence is tied up in propaganda just like everyone else. Everyone grows up collecting all kinds of leaven. It shapes us.

To those who can look back, and ponder their life. See where they are now compared to where they thought they would be 20 years ago. Maybe they have taken the proper steps in their mind, but one thing I know of all people. Life should have been better than what it was. We should feel better on the inside.

The inside is what it is all about. The outside is what people want to focus on, cuz we can make that shit look good. The inside part of us we don't particularly want to show,  cuz we were once a kid. Our inside is very unique, and very different. Very imperfect too.

If people saw our inside, then people can judge. Our very own unique self, people can trash.

I am reminded of that Pink Floyd song. -~~"if I showed you my dark side what would you do?"~~ 

If you showed your weak and vulnerable side what would people think??  I imagine there is great fear, cuz in life I've been hurt. It was major shit in my life. That is the one thing too. If you showed people your hidden dark side the one thing that can happen is people reject you.

You aren't good enough.

It makes me think in life people need support. Ya ain't strong enough to do everything on your own. Life is too hard, and we are too imperfect.

Anyhoooo.  Just thinking aloud.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  crap. Don't really have one. Oh well.  :)

Love YouAll xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)
 

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

I Know I Have To Poop More, But It Isn't Coming Out Of My Butt Yet.

RHello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. In my no more drinking World I drank yesterday. No reason really. Lisa was going out after work. I had nothing to do, so I thought what the heck. I am happy to say I can drink or not. It isn't a biggie to me.

In my life I do not believe in the word "alcoholic"    people may drink, and if it makes you Fuck up your job that is dumb.  In life you gotta always wake up the next day and work. Period. I see some people have troubles just doing the work thing, even without drinking.

Cocaine you can get addicted to. Heroin, and cigarettes too.  Alcohol is just something people decide to do. You can decide not to too.

Anyhoo That is that. Yesterday was pretty uneventful. Work went long for the 2nd day in a row. The two "easy" days. School starts in a couple weeks so things will slow down a bit soon.

Other than that not much going on. Another day of work eat sleep. I am a couple weeks away from having my teeth fixed. I am surprisingly excited about it. No more worrying about that shit. Been like this for 1-1/2 years. I don't look at myself in the mirror.  :) 

You learn things in life. As someone who once was anal about flossing 1-2 times per day I lost the battle. You wanna hold on to your teeth all your life, cuz if you lose some you are a loser.

It is a good racket dentists have. They sell fear. It seems to me teeth are gross. A lot of nooks and crannies for bacteria to hide. When you lose your teeth your gums close up, and no nooks and crannies. You get a new set of permanent teeth, and no more root canals, or bridges, or things like that.  All those things will cost you more than your new set of teeth.

In life you really have to follow the money, and then ask questions. Where is the money going and why??  Everybody wants more and more money, and just cuz it is accepted currently doesn't mean it is good, proper, or right. In life you have a tendency to accept shit just cuz.

So anyway I was unlucky with my teeth, but I learned a few things. Life goes on.

I ran yesterday for the first time in forever. Trying to get my knee healthy, so I didn't run. I don't know anything yet, but I bet my long running days are done.  I don't care though. You take what life gives you. No sense pounding a square peg in a round hole. Just cuz you spent a lot of time doing something, it doesn't mean you always have to do it.

Maybe a good lesson is you take what life gives you. I suspect many try to force down what they think their life should be.

My life is work eat sleep. I'll throw some other things in the mix in my free time. Life in that regard is the same as it has always been. We labor, eat, and sleep.

Life is busier today seemingly than it was thousands of years ago, but we still have the same questions. The answers in our minds are pretty fucking bizarre too. Any thoughts of our existence is pretty crazy. How did we get here and why. You get into that discussion, and every one sounds like they are high on some kind of drug.

No matter what walk of life you choose you got some pretty Fucked up thoughts.

I do too. I found the truth. I lived it, and I felt it. The truth is crazier than your current thoughts.  The story is completely ridiculous.

If you follow the truth all the way to the top you learn some things. You learn you know very little. Your first lesson in life is fear. Every lesson after that for the next billion or so is fear too.

In my case I overcame once. Things weren't that great. My energy came back, and once again my life was mine. It was pretty normal. I just did what most do. The difference with me is I knew I had more to do. Just not sure when.

When the time came, more fear, and more hard times. Once more up to the judges, and once more with help I overcame.

You'll find in the long run the one obstacle you will have to overcome is life. The thing you want most is the thing you give up. The first time it is just the simple you vs. you. The next times it will be you vs. the judges. The later ones you'll need help. You are not strong enough. The first one you get little help. It is your most important battle to date.

You vs. You. I used to stress trust and strength. Now I just see what happens.  My blog has gone on awhile.

Anyhoooo. I bet this was long.

Sorry.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I wonder what today will be like. 

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D        :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.     :)

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

An Update Dedicated To Dylan Zwort

Hello, and good morning. How's it going? Me I am doing good. Dylan asked me to add him to my blog as I was leaving work yesterday. He is one of the head cooks. A little known fact about Dylan. He touches my butt a lot, and I think he wants to touch my penis. So there. A little shout out to Dylan. Hope that's what he had in mind.  ;)

Anyhooo, so what's going on??  Not much. We saw the Jason Bourne movie yesterday. I read those books long ago, and the movies aren't really that much like the books. The movies are always fast paced. It's hard to tell really what's going on. The movies really are average at best. In my opinion.

Anyway, since I stopped drinking we went to dinner at a place that doesn't serve alcohol. Dennys of all places. It might be another decade before I return there again.

A couple things I noticed from not drinking when I get home. I am hungry a lot. I don't know if that is normal. Yesterday after dinner and a movie,  I was just dead tired, and it wasn't alcohol induced. Also throughout the day, and in the bike ride home I feel the whole World is open. I can do whatever I want.

Currently I am not sure what that will entail, but we'll see. As I approach the half century mark I like the freedom to do as I want.

It seems in life people tend to follow a path of getting more and more tangled in life. My path has led me to be less tangled. No one dictates anything really to my life, and I owe no one anything.

My life was all about the turn. After my energy returned my life was just a typical life most people do. Work, have fun. Tangle yourself up in various activities. There always was labor in my future. That was all locked inside, as was my story. I had no idea what my days would look like, but things definitely started up several years ago.

The wait mode is really kinda a trip. Remember when I won that race in a dream, and I wasn't happy. It was like the sperm race. A lot going after the prize,  but only one gets in. I wasn't happy cuz I was alone, and I wasn't supposed to be.

Anyway as years have passed since that time, I still remain alone. As to being sad, no. I am content, cuz this story isn't mine, and I can do nothing. The story will be played out, and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.

Your main worry should be are you on the correct side? Are you on this train that gathers momentum? I assume Worldly anxieties are closer to your heart than anything else, cuz that is what people are slaves to.  You can't really escape it without help.

Currently my heart is strong, cuz no one really has a say in how I am as a person. My existence is tied up in one, and it makes everyone worth a coin in my eyes. In the end are lives are as significant as pocket change. Maybe someone can trade you for a gum ball.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  looks like I'll have time to take the Hopester. 

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

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