Another Week In The Books.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Not too much changes with me. Day in, and day out.

Yesterday was okay as far as days go. Work was busy, but we got out on time. Maybe a little late. I saw the Kingsmen movie. It was good. We then just picked up pizza for dinner. Today I will whoop it up a bit I guess, since I cannot eat anything tomorrow at all. Broth will be my meals, and water.

I don't know if you really call it "progress" where we can shove cameras up people's butts. 2000 years from now they'll laugh. Not that the World will be here. I don't know what the future looks like. I know it won't look like this.

Really not much going on with me. Work, eat, sleep. I'll be on vacation next week, and I plan on getting shit done with the house. Our schedules kinda run different. I'd probably get up early, and have everything done by noon. Lisa will sleep in. She will read a bit, eat lunch at noon, digest, and then want to do shit.

As far as I can tell no one really is living exciting lives. Plugging along day after day. None of us are doing important shit. Just living out our days really.  We aren't making any mark really, cuz really no one does.

History is made up of fairy taled stories. Heroes are born out of the written word. What is the purpose of us living our lives?  Why am I even here? 

In the end I think people want to be good. We are selfish at times though. Sometimes our hearts lead us down strange paths.  Geesh, I am far from perfect,  but my path is lit. My story in the end will be perfection,  but the most important stuff was believing when spoken to, and being obedient.

I was tested for sure. Made to play the fool really. Actually I really think it was the promotion. This was back in 1990 probably so a long time ago. I had my degree,  and I wanted a promotion. I would be a supervisor in the housekeeping dept. of the hospital.

It totally was I want I want I want. I'd make a lot more money than I'd need, and life would be easy. I'd be set. There was a pull though.  I want I want I want, but I denied myself. Your will though. I wanted, but I was willing to deny myself.

I was told to take my name out of the running. My only  prayer was to give me courage in the morning to do it. Don't let me think this did not happen.

So I went in, and played the fool. I was shaky, and nervous, and I did not speak with a confident voice.

The promise I was given during I think the wilderness days was I'd be rescued out of every predicament I found myself in. I asked why, and you know the answer?

Cuz I denied myself that one night. I call that overcoming yourself really. I overcame two times besides that, and that was me forfeiting my life.  It always came down to not my will.

Accept the worst ending for myself if that is the will.

In hindsight hearts are pretty treacherous,  and we will not achieve perfection. We really probably fuck up a lot of shit.

My story was one of fear,  cuz I could not boast righteousness or anything. I was out alone doing battle with spirits who were crafty with the sword. The sword is used to judge, not to save. Hence those who live by the sword...

I am afraid the story is about something else. Ya kinda gotta go on the journey to find out about the real you. There are two sides to you. The one who really wants to be on the right side of being right, and the other who lies to you. Your stronger side of you gives you a false sense of security. Your major downfall is that voice in your head that believes in heroes.

It takes pretty good eyesight to see the real World. It takes good ears to listen. Mostly it takes a soft heart. A hard heart I am afraid will be the downfall of many. A hard heart cannot listen. If it hears while being soft you have two choices. Listen, believe, or harden so as not to believe, and pretend you didn't hear.

I don't know your story. I am not sure what will be said to you, and when. You may be tested like I was, I don't know.

I will tell you this,  obedience was instilled in me. I was let known in no uncertain terms the consequences of disobedience. So I have been obedient, but there was only some things before,  and during the wilderness years to my recollection.

After overcoming #2, I was finally able to live with security, and no fear. I knew I couldn't be perfect,  but it didn't matter. I was accepted. I just have that one thing to do,  and I've known that since shortly before overcoming the first time.

Anyhoo, I guess that's good.

Have fun, and cya later.   :)

xo.   :)