Something Different.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I quickly realize that in my heart is still the wilderness. A messed up World we will not fix. We are incapable.

Personally, I am tired of being mad, so I guess I am not. Earlier I was thinking how lucky I am the World does not touch me. It can't bring me down,  cuz I am not really a part of it anymore. Bad things get done to innocent people. I don't know what triggers random killing. Maybe it's not random, but people suffer for it. Regardless, a person never is so far gone they cannot repent.  I realize a repentant heart is not so easy. We don't control our hearts or they surely would do different things for us. I cannot imagine all the thoughts that pop in our heads. That's cuz our hearts can take us down some strange avenues.

In the long haul you cannot run away from you. You cannot go into the wild to try and purify your thoughts. We cannot escape us. Whoever you are I guess you know your flaws. Thoughts you hide from everyone. Maybe you pretend they are not there,  I don't know. I know I am open. I allow me to be seen. I am not ashamed, and I have no guilt. I learned a long time ago the person I wanted to be was out of my reach. With help my eyes were open, so I could see my end. It was then I repented.

That led me on my way. Quickly I was to suffer after that to learn few come this way. The World was shattered, and I saw the story. So, this was a long time ago. I have since learned as unique as my route was, it didn't mean I was special. I was no better than anyone else. Hitler was bad,  cuz he was angry, but even he once was a kid. He went to war,  and came back angry. His dreams of being an architect long gone I guess. A little luck, and a little success,  and he probably thought providence was on his side. Even he was not so far he couldn't repent.

The story is about forgiveness,  not how great you are. It isn't about labor or sacrifice. It is about the truth. The truth being you need help to become a better version of you.  No matter how you spin things the truth is you are a flawed person where perfection is far away. That matters. In all your labor you have accumulated zero points. In all your sacrifices zero points have been accumulated.

The story is about our sad little truth. It is a story about humility, definitely not about trophies, and gold medals,  and whatever else people strive for.

You are far from that path though as far as I can tell. You still are a part of this World. The way out starts with a search of you. Try taking a day pondering all the shit that pops in your head. What do you think of that?  Try taking ownership of it too, cuz that is you. You cannot bury that shit in the ground, it will keep popping back up.

You cannot run away from you, so you better deal with it.

All right, I gotta go. Today was my sleep in day.

Laterzzz.    :)