Wednesday, September 28, 2016

The Fine Art Of Surfacing.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  I am fine. I've been away for a few days. Sleeping in a bit. Staying up a bit too late. Nothing on my mind as usual. Much like today.

In the wilderness people seek for value. In the wilderness you'll find none. Your National Politics don't mean shit, if you can accept it. Your sportsing ball games have no significance outside of shit people do. In the wilderness you'll find what your life really is worth. It isn't much.

A ton of people have done this shit before. Many as smart as you with your crafty words, and firm grasp of Societal shit of the day.

Many like you had unexplained anger outside of your control.  Many other things outside your control too. Stuff inside us we wish weren't there.  Unexplained stuff we simply cannot really control.

I can tell you what it is, but do you wonder??  What is inside you that makes you not quite the person you'd like?   How do you improve you, and get rid of the bad? 

There is no sacrifice to be made. There is no labor. Your politics won't help you. As smart as you are your knowledge falls short. Probably our worse curse is our arrogant hearts. Makes us stop searching,  cuz we already reached the pinnacle. The search is over. We are better than most.

That too is a problem. We judge based on what others have done,  and what others do. The mirror is for you. It isn't for you to turn.

Your job is to do the impossible. Find out the truth about you in a World that doesn't mean shit.

Your job is to throw away your fake Saint clothes, and find the real you.

In other words...

I won't finish that sentence. Too many swear words probably.

Later.

Friday, September 23, 2016

The Struggle Continues.

Once again I struggle with this thing. My first thought is to blow this off.  That means I struggle with this.

I did think of some things before getting up though. I've been saying we are in the wilderness. That is what I call it, and that is what I see.

The Wilderness is the World undressed. It also is people undressed too so to speak. It is the ugly truth. There is no value in the World. There is little value in you,  because you are a part of this World, so you seek to make your mark in a World with no value.

I am guessing you don't see our dilemma. We are born here destined to seek value where there is none. All avenues in the wilderness lead nowhere.

I see this head on. I've lived it too,  and it was without doubt a horrible time. I cannot even explain it that great to you, cuz I am different than you, and was even back then.

My story has a basic plan. I see the end of the current version of me. I know that part. I just don't really know how the days look from here to there. So I live my simple life of work, eat,  sleep.

I am sure I piss people off along the way.

Part of the problem is people don't want the truth. The truth is pretty brutal. You are born in a World without value. Your heart is of this World so you are destined to seek out value where there is none. Making your mark in whatever.

You aren't perfect,  cuz none of us are.  So basically there is no formula that really works.

That is what the wilderness is. I found my way, and then lost it. Early on I was to go in the wilderness to see the true nature of this World,  the true nature of people,  and to learn my dilemma,  and everyone else's.

So my path sent me up to the judges. Twice. I overcame twice with a strength not of my own. My story is 3 times so I still have another to go.

As to you. I don't know your story. I assume you see the dilemma here in the wilderness. The dilemma is the value of your life.

I guess eventually you have to see the value of one coin. The one I speak of.

I assume it's scary so people may have to prop themselves up in some way, but I know the truth. I cannot be faked.

That too is a dilemma for me, cuz you cannot dress yourself up in Saints clothes.

Pretty scary stuff huh??  Or maybe not. I really have no clue what people are seeing.

One thing I can tell you is life sure is a Web. One we all get caught in. You are known though,  and so is your Web. There is a way out, and it is good. You'll like it eventually.  You first gotta deal with the truth.

I guess that is why we are in the wilderness.  We see there is no value in anything.

Sooooo,

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I've been kinda tired when getting up the last couple days. 

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's. :)

MWAH. :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D      :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz. :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

This Thing Has Been A Struggle.

Good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am okay. I have tried blogging the last couple days, but it was really dumb, and I deleted it.

I wasn't going to blog today,  because it seemed it would be a waste of time. Not much going on in this noggin. The mouse is running on the wheel, but he isn't catching the cheese.

So I thought about us being in the wilderness. It is a tough area. I don't think I really understood how futile our lives are until I overcame the 2nd time.

Anyway as you remember I was asked to go solo. This walk was mine. Little did I know I was going into the wilderness, but I did. It really is a horrible place with no hope. All around you is judgement.

I walked. I'd wake up every morning  very early. I'd walk. I'd work my 2nd shift job, and walk some more. I was seeking what I lost.  My life.

Anyway the hardest lesson in life is you don't deserve shit. There is no redeeming quality in you. Sob stories don't mean anything. You haven't suffered so much that you will be redeemed because of it.

The story is about forgiveness. That is just the start too. Your ideas of Government,  and Politics,  and flags, and society don't mean shit either. It is how the World masks itself.

You are not the brightest, and you are not the bestest. There is no such thing. You are one of many people who walked the Earth. All tied to their times. Whatever that was.

Blacks were slaves. Jews were slaves. I don't know what kind of shit storm you call the Crusades. I don't know what kind of shit storm was going on during WWll.

Just shit people lived through. On we go with our lives. We say this and that. We do any number of things, but we are in the wilderness, so nothing matters.

People aren't perfect,  kids aren't perfect,  truth of it all is life is hard. It is a shit storm. A shit storm with consequences.

Try taking judgement out of your heart. No chance. It is what we do best.

In life we want to be judged on the curve. Compared to others we are looking pretty good. The truth goes all the way sadly.  You are judged on you. In that regard we all stand the same. We all fall short.

All your labor,  and all your sacrifices don't mean shit. Life is failure. We are not born perfect,  and you can't whip your imperfection out of you.

I know the truth, and I know my story. I will continue to eat, drink, and be as merry as I can. It typically falls under the category of work, eat, sleep. It is my gift for coming this far.

I still have another thing to do. I will choose to go too,  cuz I have been given a courageous heart. I've suffered enough to know this will be no joke. I'll have help to see me through,  cuz I cannot do this on my own. I never would have been strong enough.

I guess you will continue to wander around in circles in the wilderness. Seeking for that piece of you that is redeeming above all others. You won't find it, cuz none of us are that person.

On our own we just continue making our own shit show.  :)  haha.  :)

I know you want life to mean something, but you will be surprised the true nature of our time here.

Our hearts on our own cannot even comprehend it.

Crazy crazy.

Anyways I am up early as Hell. I'll finish my coffee, take Hope,  and do dishes.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  looks like I can ignore the NFL for the rest of the year.  Sweet.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Another Week Done.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. Another week has come and gone. Nothing really significant happened I don't think. Work, eat, sleep I believe.

I woke up early one morning and didn't blog. I did the dishes, and cleaned the kitchen. I used to do that every morning, and read. Then the Internet came. I have always woke up before I needed to. Even before blog was even a word.

The Internet is sorta boring though. There really is no information I seek on it. I don't scour box scores. I don't read the news. What else is the Internet used for?? 

After work yesterday I was riding my bike home. There was a sign saying a brewery was open. I didn't think anything of it, but I decided to turn around and check it out. I haven't sat in a bar forever. I had some beers. Maybe 5. The beer was good. I'll stop there again, but it is much cheaper to drink at home. $5/ beer is pretty expensive. I can get a good buzz at home for  $6. Home is fine for me. I am not lonely or anything. I enjoy my own company just fine. I am happy with my own thoughts I guess.

Other than that not much going on. I'll probably clean the kitchen, and start laundry. I'll take Hope for a run. I work today too. I am on one of my long stretches of work. Next day off = Thanksgiving. It is different though. It is 3 different jobs,  so I don't go to the same place.

My life goes on. I am content I guess. I am getting everything out of life I want, cuz there is nothing I want of life. Why? How?  Life has nothing to offer. I accept the truth,  and at peace with it.

I'd like to tell you that path was easy, but it really had a billion hard moments. I've been made to be how I am. I am not the product of my story written by me. I am the product of the turn. Obedience was my friend. Fear was my companion. In my journey the World lost.

You on the other hand...  not really sure. You are like I was back in like 1990. My 26 years since a story was made. The author wasn't me. I found the ever elusive truth.

I unsuccessfully try to pull others along, cuz that's my job. Not exactly the one I asked for,  but I wanted this life to mean something. I guess it does.

I am way different than you though. My path is good.

Anyhooo. I got a day today. I got stuff to do. Seems like the start of a pretty good day to me.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. not sure what to do for dinner.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's. :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D      :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Up Before The Alarm.

I am starting this before my alarm goes off. My cup of coffee is already made. I've been pretty good at drinking a cup of coffee every morning.

Yesterday was pretty similar to most other days. In the morning I have all these plans after work. After work is a different story. I was tired,  so I chilled. I then did dishes, and made dinner. We haven't had spaghetti much. Not at all for months actually. We made it last night, and maybe a couple weeks ago. It tasted great. We were kinda tired of it,  but nice to get that back. Really we haven't done much pasta lately at all. Just one of those things.

Life is filled with all this little stuff that means absolutely nothing.  :)

I reread my blog yesterday. I do have a pretty harsh message. At some point in time I guess some of you will know what I know,  and that will be quite a shocker to you. I don't know exactly how this plays out. I just have the basic outline. We shall see about that.

I don't really recall all my days in the wilderness. I had fear. I think I accepted the value of me. My value was nothing. I guess I didn't have much of a crutch. In the wilderness you don't win. You just eventually get let out.

There are no good deeds to be done. The path to Sainthood is not by way of you being a Saint. None of us are. There is no amount of effort or sacrifice that will lead you to Sainthood.

Since we are on different planes you don't see things as I do. Many/all probably thought your outcome will be pretty good,  cuz you are better than Hitler.

In life everything matters. There is no clean slate without forgiveness,  and repentance does not come from a hard heart. In other words you are in a pretty tight spot, and you never knew it.

I survived the wilderness. I knew I was in a pretty good spot during the dead years, cuz I had the general outline of my story. Heimleblog, and the Journey were not easy times. A lot of internal persecutions,  because my path never got easy til I overcame the 2nd time.

So on we went. This story was kinda fluid. We learned things as we went along, and we really haven't even gone anywhere yet. Lives are different.  Really we all are just older though.

We are no closer to Sainthood,  cuz the message didn't work. People had other things to do. They had to make their name in this World. There were no ramifications,  cuz you are better than Hitler. You were secure.

Your hearts deceive you. Everything matters. A clean slate only comes from forgiveness. Forgiveness does not come if one isn't sorry.

So as you are shining up your plaque of Sainthood,  you have no idea what you are doing.

Now I have help doing this thing. If I didn't tell you these things there would be no hope for you.

Outside the garbage room I asked how could I be so far away??  I've already done a lot. For you now I ask how is it possible you are so far away. You've had a pretty good message for years.

My answer was to save more lives. Yours is you've had good information,  but life is all about you.

You didn't want the message cuz you are selfish. Arrogant too perhaps.  Your heart deceived you. You listened to that instead of me.

Not much I can do though.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I'll be able to finish my run early today. I like it better that way.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Monday. Another Day.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  I am doing fine. Monday went pretty good. I got my lawnmower and trimmer back on Friday so I cut the front grass and trimmed it. My gas powered trimmer is like 15 years old, and it still works great. Lisa did some painting outside. I made an easy meal. Tacquitoes with enchilada sauce, and refried beans, and a lot of cheese.  :)  so simple, and so good.

We also picked our brains and came up with like a million more projects to do that will most likely never get done.  :) 

The weather was great yesterday. I finished up the first season of Stranger Things. Another day has come, and another day has gone. I will take Hope in a bit.

Soooo that is that. Damn. This is a bit of a struggle today. I am close to the just delete this shit point.

I don't really know people too well. I have no idea how they think. I have no idea what they think they are supposed to get out of life. Life is a lot tougher than you think.

For one thing you aren't perfect.  You can try to simplify your life as much as possible,  and perfection is still out of reach.  The busier you are the harder things are.

Have you cleaned all the house?   All the dishes done??  Are you spending more money on car insurance than you should?  All the laundry folded??   Are you balancing everything out??  Putting in equal amounts of effort in all facets of life??  Work, family,  chores??

You'll find life is hard. You'll find if you are a parent you don't do that perfect. You'll find no matter what life is always Fucked up in ways. I find people try to find meaning in all this imperfection typically through weak and shallow shit this  World is all about.

Life is a horrible thing to be born in, cuz it is so much more to it than we were ever taught. You were born into imperfection,  and your life will continue on that route.

The question is does that matter??  The answer is it sure does. No one will tell you that,  because the truth is harsh, and people want to be nice.

In the end we aren't real important. In the end we make our little mark of imperfection,  but we judge ourselves as better than Hitler. The truth goes much deeper than we are willing probably.

The truth is we really aren't all that. It is why we need to justify some shit.

In the end people just are not willing to deal with what life is. I don't really know why.  Maybe there is just too much to accomplish.  Maybe in all our imperfection we want to show the World we still are great.

I don't really know.  Like I said I don't know people all that well,  cuz I am many years removed. I've traveled far in my journey.  It's gone on many years, and I cannot go back to how I once was. I wouldn't want to either. I ain't perfect,  but I am in a better spot than I was.

Anyhoooo,

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I am pretty excited about the milder temps.  Outside is way better this way IMHO.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Eeeek. I Slept Like Shit.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. I slept like shit though,  and have to work. I just woke up and couldn't fall asleep. I typically wake up, and typically can fall back asleep. Tonight not so much.

Yesterday was okay. Typical day. Worked a bit. Watched some football. We watched 2 or 3 more episodes of stranger things or whatever. Made an easy meal, and that was it.

I thought of some things this morning. I guess I do that a lot. Yesterday was probably a bit of a doozy again. Who knows?? 

I was thinking of my final thing the current version of me has to do. That will be quite a thing. One thing I thought of is hope. I realize how important it is now. I know it is spoken of a lot, but hope will help me endure as I do that final thing.

The courage will not come from me. All I have to do will be done for me.

Anyway, That is just between you and me. I realize how far away you all are. Not going through the eye of the needle yet you are who you always were. A person born in this World with a life.

What that life entails who knows. Hearts are deceptive so you don't even really know you all too well. Like me if this is the finished product then it isn't all that great. The one thing I don't remember is what it's like on the other side of the needle.

I was a weak human. Wanted to smile.  Wanted to always be nice, but I did hurtful things. We all are selfish so we all have things we want to do.

I guess at some point I really started looking at me. Somehow it hit me, I ain't a Saint,  but I sure would like to be. I wanted to be good.  I wanted to do right things.

A lot I needed to learn. Eventually I will be perfect,  but until that time I still have good labor to do without having understanding. Being faithful with unrighteous mammon and all. This imperfect vessel is able to do good things cuz I have a promise. I've scored points with my suffering, and all that was done in hiding.

There is so far you need to go, and my guess is you don't even know it. There is a way to a better you, but my guess is you already think yourself good enough.

So, that is that.  My life is on this one plane,  and yours is on a different one.

To tell people they aren't Saints is not that great a thing.  I am so much way different now then what I would be.

Anyway. I can't imagine how nutty the shit I put on here is. Also I cannot imagine what I would be like if I had someone like me way long ago.

It is a tough job I do I guess. I imagine hearts get pulled back to this thing. It is why I am a bit aloof. I can do nothing. It isn't my story. Very little I can do. I can't make me the best a person can be, and I can't make you.  I can't even take you through the eye of the needle. I can point you in the right direction,  but your journey and walk is up to you. You work out the details. Your heart will have to be pulled, and that I cannot do either.

It's like I said I ain't doing any great thing here.

I will be working on little sleep though.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.i guess it won't be too bad. People will be doing IMs today on little sleep I bet, so that will probably suck worse.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D      :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Another Try.

Hello, and good morning.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. I already tried to blog once,  but deleted it. So, I am trying again. So on this day I am spending my 1700th day doing this. Seems kinda nutty huh??  6 years x 300= 1800. That is quite a bit really.

I don't really have much to say, but maybe I did. I don't really know. I see things in my day to day, and sometimes it makes it here.

Those who have been around a while know there isn't much to my day to day. Life is boiled down to very little.

I am not doing any great thing in this life. Actually in my opinion there are no great things to be done. We plan things, and do things.  We map out our futures. We all want to have fun. Our decisions all have consequences.

You get married, then that is a bit of your future right there. You buy a house,  that is a significant thing.  You get a job,  chances are you plan on doing that for a while.

The day you planned on being born in the Country you were born in gave you a set of eyes to see things one way. Kinda a joke there,  but you were born wherever, and eventually you had to overcome Country propaganda. Few do. Many have been taught by false teachers, so there is a little religious BS you need to overcome.

I am not really sure of other Countries really, but all have to overcome a lot. You've been poisoned with bad leaven from day one.

On our own we all are false teachers too actually.  We have no worries spitting out our leaven to whoever will listen.  Some have bigger voices or more of a following so it will be worse for them.

You are born here destined to not be a very good finished product.  Your learning falls short. All you listen to is false teachers.  Others whose learning has fallen short. Propaganda is just shit handed down from generation to generation. Nationalism is a thing you must overcome. You carry no flags with you when you die. No points.  Any other ism you cling to you have to overcome.

All in all it is a pretty big task. Too big for you. The learning I got came not from me.  I made some steps that took me down a different path. I, while mostly Spirit,  went into the wilderness. I totally do NOT recommend doing that. Worse time ever. It ended with me being judged.  Tied up to a hospital bed waiting for my death that was moments away. With a strength not mine I gave up my life. Not just the living one,  but also I would take my place in Hell too. The judges play God. The judges overpower you, and you believe what they say.

The words both times for me overcoming were if it is God's will. The 2nd time I would live out my days in the wilderness, and then take my seat in the worst place in Hell, as I would be the worst of the worst. 

My story is to overcome 3 times.  I actually have to go to that bad place for 3 days as one who went before me. Others went too.  It's been a while.  The message got lost.  False teachers took it over.  They started collecting human coins.  Dressed up in suits and robes.  Spoke a message not of truth, because man is not able to learn the truth on his own.

Eyes need to be opened to see the sword. In my case while I was full the sword was good. When I became poor in Spirit I saw the sword judges. The sword is good with understanding,  and that comes after number 3 to me.

So what's it all mean?? 

It means the truth is hidden.  You will never find it without a turn. You will toil in vain,  and I cannot even help you. 

The life you chose to be born in is a very grave and dangerous thing. Why??  Significant shit happened in the past. It was important, but your heart cannot comprehend it cuz you don't have understanding. Me either.

I just know other stuff cuz I've been through things you don't even think possible.

Anyhoooo. That is 1700.   :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I think I'll take Hope. 

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)

Thursday, September 8, 2016

So This Is Actually 1699.

I had a couple drafts I didn't delete. Some days I wake up, right down some shit.  Realize that update is going nowhere quickly,  and delete it. I had a couple I didn't clean out from my drafts so.

Anyway as is typical I don't have anything to write about,  but we'll see. Yesterday was a pretty normal day. I came home and relaxed. Did a couple things around the house, and cooked dinner.

A day in the life.

There was a discussion going on at work about something or another. Christopher Columbus came up. The History of the US kinda starts with him.  If you grew up in that time in the same area as him you would think just like him.

Come across some *seemingly* uncivilized people who knows??  Back then it seems white people were colonizing, so that was a way to exploit. Throw some religion down to justify the actions. It really isn't about justifying either.  People blindly think what they do is good.

You are a product of your upbringing. Many read books, but all hold onto some BS that has been handed down.

Colonists drew up a piece of paper that all consider sacred writing. You hold onto that. Many hold onto flags and songs and other stupid shit.

500 years from now you will be considered just as much a jack ass as Christopher Columbus. You lived in a time where I don't know 8000 times more money is spent on ways to kill people instead of healing people.

None consider what the US war machine may reap if it sows in bombs and death.  If it is true you reap what you sow, than the World should not come as a shock.

People aren't perfect. Many may have guilt, cuz they jack off to porn, and update their FB on Sunday saying they went to Church.

All are held in slavery by the World.  So many goddam unwritten rules. No one ever really considered maybe it is a good thing to work while tripping on acid.  :)  j/k

Really though time shows our faults.  We live a short time, and we have no clue how the future looks. We walk blind our short time here.  We hang on to stupid shit that has been handed down,  because you are not stronger than the World.

What's it all mean??  It means we are Fucked our short time we live here. I suggested throw everything out. Just assume everything is wrong. It would do you good too, cuz everything is wrong. The World is not a good place.  There are no Saints.

This World is not going to be fixed. There is no path save one that even makes any sense.

I am not sure how to reach people though. The World dresses itself up pretty nicely. It tricks us all. I had a good set of eyes way back when that let me see through it. I also realized I was a product of who knows what.

I did what I said I would do. I stepped out of my upbringing and learning to look at the World objectively. It wasn't pretty. I saw through it, and saw life is pretty ugly.

The World is the wilderness. You just need a true set of eyes to see it.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. think I'll finish my coffee and take Hope.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D        :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.   :)

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

I Think This Is Update xx99.

I used to care about those things,  but today not so much. Yesterday I had a day. I think it went pretty okay. We did some stuff in the morning until it got hot. Lisa had to run an errand, and I chilled.

Got all my laundry done.  Not folded. Cooked meatloaf for dinner.  I went to bed early. I love waking up a few times before my early alarm. Especially if I really could have gotten up in a pinch. It is nice just waiting for the alarm to go off. It means you are well rested.

Other than that not much going on.  Back to work, and that is okay by me. In life you want to feel like you live pretty balanced. As long as I work my day is pretty okay. I did something no matter what you know??  If I come home,  and do stuff for an hour or two or three that is better. Then I can just chill, and enjoy the rest of the day.

I think lately I have been putting up some doozies. I never really know when that will happen.

I am in my 50th year on this planet. That doesn't mean much. My story is pretty well documented. My steps are known. As long as the wait has been going on I have been right without being perfect. Perfection was always the goal,  but I had much to learn. I wanted perfection for security to be honest,  cuz I didn't want to live in fear. Security comes before perfection. That is one of those things I had to learn.

There is a lot to my story. There is a lot to me, which quite frankly is pretty nutty. I know my heart is generally pretty upbeat. I know why too. I wonder how your heart is??  Is life a grind??  Did you bite off more than you can chew??  Are there too many responsibilities and not enough fun??  Too many days to work, and not enough off days?  Do you even enjoy off days?

If I spend a day not doing shit I don't enjoy myself. I kinda feel guilty about it. That is why I ask.  I don't do days off very good.  :)  I am crazy that way.

Anyway, today is another day. I think it should be pretty okay.

I don't really have much to blog about,  but that is how all days go pretty much.

Stay tuned for another xx00 update coming pretty soon. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.my phone says 78° before 4:00 AM. Yikes.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Monday, September 5, 2016

On A Roll.

Hello,  and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. My early alarm went off, and I was ready to get up. I didn't have to though so I putzed for a bit. I have a coffee. I've been on a blogging roll, so I thought I'd blog again, although there is nothing on my mind. Course that is how my blogs start like 90% of the time. :)

Yesterday wasn't much. Work, dishes,  and little else. I was kinda celebrating having all of Monday off. Lisa is starting to do some painting outside. We really have a lot of projects to do. I'll do a little bit today I guess.

Other than that not much going on. I did think of something yesterday. My bad Summer long ago I was in the Wilderness. I was judged every second of every day. There was no labor I could do to take me to a better place. I walked and walked and walked. I lived in fear every day, and I had no help anywhere, except I seeked it out everywhere. I knew the World was wrong, and people had absolutely no idea where they stood. Life was going on for all people. Picnics were being had. Cars were being washed, families were doing whatever it is they do. Argue sometimes,  have fun sometimes. Judge others who are not as good as them. Whatever. Condemnation stared me in the face, and there was no way out. I had fear as my crutch, and I would be obedient no matter what.

I was mostly Spirit already mind you, so you have no clue how that feels,  and how powerful fear can consume someone in my condition.

Anyway my way out of the wilderness was overcoming the first time. Remember I went back to the wilderness for a few days 9 years ago or so, and that was when I gave up. My heart was taken that nighr, cuz I would need help the rest of the way.

So I overcame the 2nd time, and now I am not afraid. One thing I had no idea of was we would be going back in the wilderness. There is nothing of value here, and all your deeds do not impress. You have no idea the true nature of life. Cuz it hasn't been shown to you yet. All you know is this World. The thing that's been going on for quite a long time.

Out of nowhere I've been lifted up to do this thing. It isn't my story,  cuz if it were up to me I would have done my final thing 25 years ago. I wouldn't have taken you in the wilderness either.

It is part of the plan though. Reason being is the wilderness breaks all. You have to be broken too, cuz arrogance loses when a person is broken.

I warned you I am taking everything away too. In the wilderness nothing is of value. There is no labor that succeeds in the wilderness. Nothing matters.

So there is that. A tough road for you. It gets better on the other side,  but yeah. This is going to suck for a bit.

This is where we find none of you are Saints,  and either is anyone else. All pedestals get broken in the wilderness. There is nothing to prop you up.

It is a necessary thing for whatever reason. It leads to the truth though,  and most/all are far from.

So that's that.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  guess it is time to start my day. 

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Sunday, September 4, 2016

A Daunting Task.

Hello, and good morning.  How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. After work yesterday I just watched football. I didn't really feel like doing anything. I made some ribs for dinner, and that was about it.

I thought about what I was going to write this morning,  and wasn't sure. I started thinking about me a bit. This World,  and life and all that.

It seems in this great big life something should matter right?  We all go out trying to make our story. To prove to all we matter.

Anyway what I really thought about is I've been through a lot. Endured plenty. Learned a lot. I know the truth of me. I know the truth of life. In this thing I shared some stuff. It is the truth,  and I've given you the brutal truth.

The whole life we do here = zero points.

There is no significance in the big picture to flags, and parades,  and shit handed down from generation to generation is just that.  Shit. You cannot see it cuz you are in the middle of it.

I asked you to throw everything away,  and look at things objectively,  but you can't.

I am not sure why, but maybe you are afraid of what you will find. What if you find you don't really matter,  and either does this life?

Then what?? 

A whole big World out there. So much to see and so much to do,  and it all amounts to zero points.

You strived for this and that. Sacrificed this and that. You were x % points better than him and her, and it still amounts to zero points.

Quite a crazy truth huh??  All this time doing stuff in the World. Many people spend several decades doing this life thing, and it just doesn't matter. We all still die, and our time is just that, time.

We don't make the World any better, cuz the World is one big lie. Our life is one giant charade.

It is a life. It is scary,  cuz we are going to die. Oh, and we do this shit, and there is no reason for it.

So a life does have a purpose if you choose to accept it. Obviously people are already entrenched in their life, because that is how life works.

The way to freedom is built on trust. Cuz you cannot see out of your predicament. You are blind as a bat. Your heart inhibits you too. You want want want.

Pretty impossible really,  but I still think a few might make it. You only gotta overcome yourself,  cuz the rest will have to be done for you.

You aren't strong enough for the story set before you. You are only strong enough to overcome you... Maybe. Some of you anyway. The rest are a product of this World, and will remain so.

Why so  hard??  No clue. I was in it to make myself better. I had no clue what I was getting into.

I also had no clue my labor was what it would be. No clue the wait would be so long, and so long without accomplishing anything.

I don't know you all too well, but something I know of life. There is something missing in you. You aren't perfect,  and life is pretty tiresome, cuz it's all about labor,  and being entrenched in the day to day.

Where is the fun??  What's the purpose of this all?? 

You toil day and night, and I tell you for no reason. You get no points,  cuz just like your story points arent yours to make.

You are not the creator of points,  and you cannot make your own.

Sorry the truth is hard, but I warned you years ago. The truth is the hardest thing you'll ever do. You will have much help though. The few of you who are willing anyway. The rest will toil in vain. They will end up angry at the last too.

Why angry??  You wrongly think you deserve points.  So much help needed, and so many think they wrongly have reached the pinnacle already.

Anyhoooo,  sometimes my message is tough I know. The wilderness ain't no joke. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  work today than all of tomorrow off.  Yay.   :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D        :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Back To Sleep.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??   Me, I am okay. I woke up around 2:00 AM. I thought about what I was going to do, and fell asleep til 6:30. :)  I have one day to sleep in, and I did. Of course I have Monday off too.

Yesterday went pretty okay. I did some things at home,  cooked dinner, and that was about it. Scouted out more house projects to do.

Another day has come and gone. As is typical I didn't do anything of any supreme importance. Another day in the life.

When a person enters a life crossroad it really is hard to see what to do huh?  I have a life now what?? 

Get a job/career. Find another significant other. Have kids if the other person is a different sex. That shit has been done forever. Does it mean anything?  Do we get points from it ? 

No, that is just shit we've done since forever. I remember at the start of my dead years I was never going to get married and never going to have kids. In my mind I knew the final thing I must do was going to happen. That is approaching like 25 years ago. 

I ended up getting married anyway. Never did have kids, cuz in my heart I carried a sword,  and I know what life is. I know the multitudes end, and I know life has a bunch of tough shit to it.

The normal growing up is hard enough. Just one person in this World. Following along parents and society along the fairy tale trail.

The sword inside me was hidden. I've brought it out in my writing. The sword is the wilderness. Nothing is of any value, and the sword is of no help.

What no one ever taught you was your best life was not yours to make. All our deeds don't really matter. If you accumulate a lot of money you are in no better spot than if you have none. Those with little have little to lose though.

Being poor in spirit I am in the little to lose part. I was full once, and it is pretty sweet. It is a false good though, at least for me,  cuz I will be the true full after my final thing.

Anyway when I was at my life crossroad  I looked out in the world to see what there is to do. I saw death, my shortcomings. I saw a World that can not be cleaned. What is the perfect life??  What is a life that matters?? 

There was nothing in the World for me. I was alone, and I realized if there is some reason I am here let me do that instead of anything else.

I waited. I was tested. I played the fool, but remained obedient.

What you do now is not your story. The turn none have made, except me. In your search for meaning you still haven't found it.

Your heart needs help if you are going to survive the route,  cuz disobedience will be what you will want to do most.

It is you alone on the trail. You cannot help your kids or your family. You have to do you first,  before you can help others. It is a tree too with branches. I have become a tree with branches,  but you need to start making your own. This tree can get bigger if you take the steps.

Yeah, you have Labor to do, and you have no clue what it looks like right now. It is time to step out on your own. Without help you have no shot.

My heart without help would have failed long ago. No one is strong enough to survive this route. The World overpowers us all. Do not go in blind the perils of your journey. It isn't easy.

Anyhooo,

I guess that is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. I think I may go for a second cup of coffee.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D          :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Friday, September 2, 2016

Not Horrible.

Yesterday wasn't horrible as far as days go. I did my errands, cut the grass, put dishes away, and even did some vacuuming. I could have done more, cuz it wasn't late when I started to unwind, but I have some ideas for today. It is Friday too.

My pull cord thingy for my lawnmower snapped on my last pull. I have no clue how to fix it, but I know a guy who will pick it up, and replace it. He started a small engine repair shop a few years back. I'll get it back later next week sometime is my guess.

I got a good night sleep last night. I am going to take Hope for a run too. Also it is a holiday weekend, and no good movies came out. I would have liked to see a movie after work. Oh well.

Today, I'd say I feel pretty darn good. Tryna think if I thought of anything yesterday. One thing I thought of while vacuuming was I wish I felt like vacuuming.  :)

Every Sunday I do clean though. We have to do a thorough job. I should take that work home with me. Do a thorough job instead of hurrying to just get it done. Also I am thinking our house can be better organized. I don't really have a good spot for bills and stuff. Maybe some shit to work on today.

Life is a balance. There are only so many hours in the day, and a lot to do. You wanna feel refreshed when you wake up,  and I feel that way today. I am ready to start the day.

I guess I've been pretty lucky for a while. If I used an alarm,  it is very rare I use a snooze button. I do sometimes sleep more than the 3 hours I typically get up before work.

That is a change in me too. For as long as I've been doing this my current life as it is now, was almost done. Everything seems so far away now. I can maybe make a little more effort in the day to day crap,  which in the long run is dumb and pointless. We kinda are a slave to our hearts. Whatever our hearts desire is typically what we want. My heart wants to put in a little more effort in the day to day crap. I guess that is good.

One thing I thought of too is the difference between you and I. You live in a linear World,  and my World is exponential. I know the possibilities open for me, and you can only accomplish what a human can.

The World tangles us up. Money is security in most instances, but money doesn't make you happy. People want to feel like their life means something, and this matters I guess.

Happiness comes from within. Our heart is either content or not. I bet you seek contentment,  but it is out of reach. Perhaps respect from your peers you want too, but everyone is insecure to some level.

There is a lot that makes us up. Our thoughts come from our heart.  Our heart we don't control. A person is destined to be an actor at some level,  because how could you not be?? 

So anyway today is another day in my life.  It is a little life that is pretty simple. I don't make the World any better, and I don't make you any better. In the end we all stand alone, but every life is tangled up in ways. Probably why we all have a "into the wild" streak. It's why people travel, and look at scenery. We want to feel at peace when life is everything but.

Paradise comes from your inside. It is how you feel not where you are at.  The insides of us we don't control.

That really is the story of life huh??  I want to feel good. How do you do it??  There are a billion or more ideas on how to go about it, but none of them are right. The only correct answer is right here. In this little old thing I wake up at the butt crack of dawn to do.

Anyhooo, I guess I am just rambling on. If I don't who will though??   ;)  hahaha. A little blog joke.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I've been drinking a cup of coffee almost very day. I haven't really told you about that,  so make sure you update your coffee spreadsheet.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D           :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.   :)

Thursday, September 1, 2016

The Show Must Go On.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am fine. I don't really have anything to blog about,  so we'll see.

Yesterday I had a pretty normal day. I wasn't motivated to do much when I got home from work. I took out the garbage,  and cooked dinner. I had to bike to our little grocery store by our house to pick up a few things. That was pretty much it.

To be honest yesterday was fun. I like fun,  I just think I should do more though. I guess that story has been the same since forever.

So anyway life goes on. Day after day. One thing I thought about is maybe doing stuff before work. I try to always get up way early. This usually is my best hours of the day. I am in wind down mode usually when I get home from work.

Another thing I thought of is I am getting older and tired. I used to go to bed at 8:00 PM and wake up at 2:00 AM. Now I get up at 3:00, and tired sometimes.

I think what I am trying to say is I'd like to be a better version of myself. Not in a force myself way, but from the inside. We do as we feel, and I want the internal push that makes me want to do more.

I know it doesn't mean anything. What I do changes no one's life. It doesn't make the World better or anything. It is just me.

A little person with a little life. I am not trying to be better than anyone, I'd just like to be a better me. In the morning it seems so easy. In the afternoon everything looks different.

As simple as my life is I still have stuff to do. A dog that likes to go for walks. A house that always needs some stuff done. Grass needs to be cut, and trimmed.

A lot of stupid stuff to think about. Nothing really all that stressful. Nothing really all that important.

Kinda a microcosm of life huh??  A ton of shit in our mind, and none of it important.  :)

I've had some important moments in life. All that stuff was done so long ago,  and it seems so far away. I have, to my knowledge,  one more important thing to do. I hope no more than the one. That seems far-away too. Once it seemed so close,  and now very far. Not sure if that means anything.

Anyhoooo,  just a bunch of gibberish.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. today should be a good one.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D         :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.   :)