Sunday, August 4, 2013

I Just Woke Up!! :)

Good Afternoon.  Welcome to 3rd shift.  I don't really know all the time what to make of this blog.  What I mean is I don't know how others perceive it.  I do know what is inside me though, and it is some good stuff.  Some of this good stuff is negative kinda, because the World is a negative place, but that is the truth, so whatever is true is good in my book.   Even if it sucks. 

Anyway one thing I know that is in me is 'can do'.  Just like a stupid thing at work, if I have a challenge facing me I always think I can do it.  I realize people don't always have that.  Maybe that is experience??  I don't know, but not everyone has it though.  Some people have a lot of things to get through in their life. 

You hear phrases like, "they don't pay me enough to do that"  etc...  I think for a long time I was willing to do whatever.  Pride before the fall and all that, I am glad I don't have much pride.   That too is an honest look.  I am nothing that great.  Where does pride come from?? 

I always feel pretty good about myself if I put in an honest days labor, but I don't think I am all that because I did it.  Maybe another honest look is I don't think the World owes me anything.  I don't owe it anything either.  It doesn't hold me in it's grasp. 

I think in my heart is to be a decent'ish person.  There really is only one good, and that is the darndest thing of this whole blog I bet.  We are people.  We are smart, and we can achieve things.   The very one thing I have been harping on forever is on this blog what you need to do you cannot do.   You are not used to hearing this. 

We are brought up taught to feel we are special etc...  Another honest look.  We aren't.  We are taught that hard work pays off, and in ways it does kinda, but our understanding is whack.   In our mind we try to find the best stuff out there, and put our effort in that.    Guess what??  You go on doing this and that and this and that, and the next thing you know you are pushing 50 years old.  Oh, and btw I come along and tell you as of now you haven't done anything yet.  You can try and justify things, but we all end up severely lacking.  We fall short. 

An honest look is hard.  People have families and stuff, and that makes things harder.   I am sorry to say, but there is no white picket fence and live happily ever after.   There are some real things in life that have to be dealt with.   I don't know everyone's journey, and where it takes you, but you have to do the tough stuff.  The real hard look at life and the real hard look at us. 

Why??   Because all that we try to accomplish in this World = zero points.   All the sacrifices you make = zero points.  It is said I desire compassion and not sacrifice.  Another one of those little things.  Compassionate hearts come from above.  Usually it seems to me it coincides with hard times, but even in my case it wasn't always that was it??   I mean there were several examples, like the dude who lost his wife of a bazillion years.  I didn't know him.  Also the night of the "Iz" song, and there were many more.  There were a lot, and you know my journey was one of learning.  I was used to do a lot.  I have had to deal with a lot of other people's stuff.  I know the reasons, but it all comes down to that one day many summers ago.   Actually a few days.  I could not go back to my Summer of Discontent, and I gave up.  I cursed God for ever making me born.   I felt that was the cruelest thing he ever did.  Make me live this stupid life, and to bring me back to that place. 

My heart was taken that night, and I really haven't looked back.  The lesson of that night though is  I am not strong enough to do what needs to be done, but I can be used to do stuff.   I needed to know my place.  I am nothing special, but I can be used for a purpose.  At the end of the day, I have been faithful, and that is what he reckons to be right.  We try to be right, because it is scary to be on the other side of right, but as I learned from Steve's Journey it isn't up to me.  I was so scared coming back out with Steve's Journey. 

To be honest I think Heimleblog was harder for me than Steve's Journey, although neither was easy. I did wake up most morning strong.  I'd blog, and many times suffer with what I wrote.   That led me to the knowledge of support and blogs.  It is important to support when people share the hard stuff.   This here is mostly easy'ish, but the people cannot understand.  They don't believe, or they trust in themselves.   The hardest parts are the way things go, and the way I think they should go.   Our little understanding leaves us wanting more huh??

Oh well,  This is long.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I know I know I know, this blog is weird.   You know so very little bit about me though.  If you knew it all.  HAHAHA.   You don't know weird.   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D   

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