Well, I can always get a bit weird I think, and I can't tell if it is neat, scary, or what. Yesterday most definitely was an anniversary of sorts, but I am a Pejchl guy and through and through we typically don't give a shit about stuff. Birthdays and what not. Hell, My Dad is lucky if I even call him on Christmas. Yesterday was my brother Jim's birthday, and he died a few months ago. I cannot explain it, but I woke up in a good mood. I never worry about how I "should" feel, because I have total trust with how I am. This goes back a few summers ago. When I gave up, I cursed, and I said why why why??? Why did I ever have to be born?? Do You know the answer he gave me?? I didn't have to read tea leaves or anything. My heart was taken that night. Meaning my heart can go in any direction, and I am not in control. So, if I have to have an Izzz night like I did, I do it. Is it me calling the shots?? Well, not really huh?? If after a 5K I think about a guy who lost his wife of 60 years or whatever, it surely isn't me calling the shots is it?? I didn't even know the fucker. :)
You know what?? Your shots are being called for you too. It could be a movie, a song you hear, perhaps as your sipping some wine, or what have you. You have moments of reflection, and they are there for a reason. Everybody's life is different, and filled with different stuff. Maybe I "should" have been in a different mood, but I am who I am, and I accept honesty within myself more than how I deem society thinks I "should" be or feel.
Give me honesty or acceptance from "the norm" or society, and I will take honesty. It is why I love strong people.
That is why Doreen, and Jules, and Gina, and Olga, and Nancy O' Toole make it every day. They are as strong as any people I know. I can be dazzled with how shitty your life is more than how funny you are, or how great everything is, because at the end of the day truth trumps all. Sometimes when a life is taken you may not be as good at the stuff you normally do. That most definitely is one of those times where you take 2 steps back in order to go 3 steps forward.
You know I learned a lot the year all my friends moved away, and my step-mom died, and I graduated college, and my girlfriend and I broke up, and my Grandpa died. That was really a pretty hard year for me to be honest, but I learned a ton, and it was those things that led me in the direction I went.
So really if I could give advice of some sort I would say this. Don't worry about your beliefs, and society, and what a "norm" is, but be open to how your life progresses. Be open as there is a reason the Earth revolves around the sun perhaps there is a reason bad stuff happens to us. There really is a higher purpose, and it all starts with you. I don't care what religion or non-religion you have, within us all lies a truth. Life and society block the vision a bit, but within us is an ability to find out who we are. In my world truth trumps all.
Strive for truth, not perfection. No sense in having unachievable goals. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
Love You all!!! :)
p.s. you don't even want to know about my run to work yesterday. Hot wings, poop, and pain. OUCH!!! :)
Love you all xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras for Doreen and Jules xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Nancy and Olga xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras for Lois too. She makes it every day cuz of Steve R's thing, but she shared some stuff with me last night. I mean her life has had a lot of hard things in it. Poor girl. She is so strong, but like everyone she needs support too. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Oh, and if you want to make the xoxoxoxoxo line. Being "NOT" a guy would help you out a lot. :)
Ha HA HA Ha HA HA!!!
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D