Good morning. How's it going? Me, I am good. I got a good night sleep last night. I think I stayed up later than normal the night before, cuz I was tired after work.
I remember thinking of sleeping in, and I did. Then I thought maybe I'd over sleep. I worried about that. Instead of sleeping for an extra 3 hours like I thought I just did, I slept an extra half hour. :) then I was up.
Anyway yesterday when I was up I kinda just sat there and thought of how I felt I guess. I had a feeling of peace inside. I had nothing to worry about at all. I had the same thought later too. Just doing my thing at work. The work day will end, and my life is filled with very little to no 'have to'
Hard to explain I guess just very little stress I guess cuz that is how my days are. I think of how other people are, and I know people very little. It is hard for me to step in your shoes cuz all people take your route except me. I went a different way. Everyone starts on the same route. Me too. It is a route of society, and propaganda. Family pressures to do this and that. Societal pressures to be an upstanding citizen. Perhaps religious pressures. We all at one time are a slave to something.
People strive, join a group. Our group is right. I put forth effort in this. I am a Saint cuz I worked harder than such and such. I'm a Saint cuz I fought for a Country. I'm a Saint cuz I killed for God. Everyone knows the story of Noah. In that regard people who kill for God are dumb. He doesn't need help in that area.
Anyway people are born to be one of the multitudes. To seek a different way you have to throw everything out. Upbringing, society, religion, lack of religion. Reason being is it all may be wrong. Why should you be a product of anything else? You are alone in this World. Accountable for your actions. In the end you'll find nothing was really that important. The important thing is the truth, but the World hides the truth. It is hidden behind centuries and centuries of a bad History. The World colors history in pretty colors.
The World and life is ugly. Our insides are kinda dark. Perfection is not near us. Perfection is the thing most people gloss over. It's not possible so why worry?
Who says it's not possible? Just cuz you can't do it then it can't be done?
Are you sure? You gonna bet everything on that, cuz that is the path you are on. Like everyone else, except me.
Anyway the most significant thing for me yesterday was I had nothing to worry about. It is a gift from my labor that started somewhere in the early '90s. Probably '90 or '91.
The story isn't done, but my labor is kinda. I know my story, and these days I have no clue of yours. I don't know what part you play, and I accept maybe none.
Accepting stuff is easy for me, cuz I had to accept a lot of stuff. Harsh stuff. Faith is perfected through trials and tribulations, and those just made me strong. Not perfect yet, just strong.
Strong enough to stand on my own. I will be weak again when I do my final thing, cuz after that this person will be no more. I will be different. The stuff inside me now that makes perfection impossible has to leave me, and I have to have the perfect stuff come inside me.
Only one way that happens, and that story has been hidden for a long time.
Anyway. It is raining, so I'll make another coffee, and read my book.