Hello, and good morning all, ah shit. Afternoon all. How's it going?? I am doing okay. I have absolutely nothing on my mind right now, and I am even shocked I am going to try and blog at all. It is times like this where I realize why people don't blog too much. I never have nothing on my mind, but I bet this is probably more common in people than not.
Anyway I am going to get a coffee real quick. I gotta make it and everything.
Soooo what is going on with me?? Not much. I know I used to run a lot, and I haven't even tried in a while. I was thinking about starting earlier in the week, but the night before I felt knee pain when bending at work, so I knew where that would end. As out of shape as I am I cannot imagine how hard it will be when I start back up.
You would think I may be gaining a ton of weight, but nah that ain't the case either. I just don't eat a ton. I am not that hungry. I only go by the eye test/clothes test, and I may even be losing weight. I should step on a scale, but that is like work, and that will give me feedback and information I really don't give a shit about.
So I think sometimes about my blog, and what I have written about, and the life I have lived. It is a crazy story, and what seems so perfectly natural to me is impossible for you to understand. Also I explain things as I am now. I have been through a lot of things to make me the way I am. Been through umteen thousands of things not seen by the naked eye, which helped me on the way, (although some stuff was brutally hard and horrible)
That I do this explain this stuff, when you and I are so different is incomprehensible. The one thing I have going for me is I know a lot of how you are on the inside. It is probably stuff that makes life hard for you. You are supposed to be x way, but a lot of times you feel y way. You don't want people to know about the y way, so you show some sort of x way. Human nature. Easy to do.
Life is tied up in so much stuff too. Busy busy busy wherever you go. You should be doing this and that. A good person (throw whatever title you want) Dad, mom, wife, husband, laborer etc... does these types of things, and really I want to do this type of thing.
No Wonder no one gets out alive. Who the fuck would want to?? :)
The secret to me is the things I have been given. A blessing way back when, which in many ways as far as I was concerned totally useless to me. Probably during the dead years I knew I had it, and thought good stuff will come my way. I really didn't know what it meant to be honest. It is probably the best thing one can ask for. I ain't talking about collecting a lot of coins that stand the test of time, but more than anything the strength needed to do anything. My path is paved, and it leads in a good way. I have a maker of my path, and no matter what I do this is going to happen. The path I go on is me walking carelessly, and freely, and without worry. I ain't perfect, but all I do can be worked with. There was always the one unforgivable sin, and I found how that is overcome. To go where the other will not. I follow along in the way that was set out for me. I was given courage to overcome, and I have a feeling the last one will be easy, although it leads to great suffering.
My story has been a long time in the making. Even way back when, I thought I had everything I tried explaining things, but it still didn't matter. Those days with Lora when I thought nothing bad ever can happen in life were different days. I never knew my heart could be one way one day, and different later on. The way our heart is, is the way we feel on the inside. My heart is pure. It is open and clean, and easily viewed. Just another thing about me. I am like Adam before the fall. Open and free, and not ashamed of anything about me.
My story is about a billion million things. Your story has really not even yet begun. You have a billion and million things to do, and you haven't even done one little thing yet. A simple journey starts with one step, but YOU have to be willing.
Good vision of a hopeless and horrible World helps you along that path. When you look around and everything seems bad, and corrupt, and not perfect, and dirty, and all these things, then you are seeing things correctly. You got the right glasses on.
Anyway, I guess I'll finish my coffee, and then cut the grass. :)
Have fun. :)))