Hello, and good afternoon all. How's it going?? Me, I guess I am doing okay. There were a lot of things on my mind this morning, so maybe I'll go through some of it witch you. :)
So anyway in the news undoubtedly you heard of Robin Williams hanging himself. Guess he had his demons he battled throughout his life. You may question why someone who seemingly had everything would be so troubled.
I am afraid that is life. As people we are depressed. Life should be so much more shouldn't it?? Shouldn't we always be happy, and always be smiling. Shouldn't our jobs always be interesting, and shouldn't we strive for something??
The truth of life is a hard thing. It doesn't mean anything. All the time you spend on this Earth there is no purpose for it. You search high and low for some kind of meaning and some kind of purpose, but there is none. So you better darn well be depressed about stuff. It means you are HEALTHY!! Also you have a HEALTHY outlook.
All that is painted in colors, and all the tales of happily ever after have blinded us since forever. Let's take a look at your kids. Are they happy??? What do they think of life?? When will they start experimenting with stuff?? Kids aren't perfect. They are angry, and they are totally about I want I want I want. Some never really grow up out of that stage either.
So where have we come from and where are we going?? Well, this used to be a running blog, but the wait was always about other stuff huh?? I've been through everything, and I FINALLY realize and UNDERSTAND what Solomon was saying It all is folly. The 2nd time of me overcoming meant I see the totality of what my life means. All my suffering, and all my searching, and all the things I have done still don't matter, because all the things I want are not up to me.
The truths I hold are for the strong. They are not shallow truths that mean nothing. The things I have done were for a purpose. Learn life's hard lessons for a purpose. Learn what life really is about.
Life is about failure. Life is about sadness. Life is about being angry, and life is about us coming to terms with our dark side. Our less than perfect self, and the stuff we really want to hide is the stuff that needs to come out.
When I say you have to overcome your demons you better believe I mean exactly that. There only is one way to do that too. It is a process, and steps need to be made, as I have been saying all along. You have to accept you are not perfect, and throw away any inclination you have to try and show people you are perfect. It is garbage you peddle, and it is that kind of crap that makes the World a shittier place.
How can I help you with how I am, as compared to how you are?? I HAVE NO IDEA!!
This blog doesn't have an agenda though does it?? It is a fluid living thing. The Wait started out one day after my 2nd time, and I had no idea I would be using the terms pull, turn,coin. This thing is a living said like I said, and I know not the direction my heart will take this thing.
This year has been a bumpy ride for us all on this thing. Probably because you must be seeing the true side of yourself. The side that leads to sadness. You don't mean anything. Your life doesn't mean anything, and there is no purpose to your existence.
Yeah, we have to drink the Kool-Aid. If you are sad and disappointed in life, congratulations. You are starting to get good vision.
I know I know I know this is tough stuff, but this journey was always about getting strong right?? Remember how many times I said the truth will be the hardest thing you do, because the truth is such a bitter pill. It leads to a good place though. It leads to wisdom, and strength, and assurance, and to the point where you see the coin for what it really is.
What else would anyone want?? Well, besides all you who hold out for some type of meaning to the activities done here on Earth. Those I cannot help at all. You are unwilling to drink the Kool-Aid.
Anyways I guess that is enough for today.
Sorry for the tough message, but trust me I lived it. I survived it, and you don't even know what my summer of discontent was like.
A lot of my learning came out of the blue. Like a thief in the night so to speak. Without any warning I was thrown to the wolves not knowing my direction, and no seeing any path. The only things in my head were thoughts of the foolish.
The secret to who I am is many things, but I'd say two very important things. The blessing received right prior to going into the hospital. It helped turn my one coin into 5, and than many more I am guessing. Also the night I gave up, and I couldn't do it anymore my heart was taken and placed in better hands than my own.
With a promise of all for good comes a strength, and confidence no one else could muster. You couldn't do it in a million years, also so many other things that need to be done you cannot do in a million years either.
Sooooo, what is your next step???
Okay for realzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz now, I am going to go. Gonna make some coffee. I work both jobs tonight. Have fun. :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Especially for Doreeeens. Cuz I wike her a lot. :))