What Does It All Mean??

Hello, and good morning.  How's it going??  Me, I am so so.  I would say I am disappointed in people mostly. 

Still believing there is something important to do in this World and this life.  It has to mean something right??  I mean why bother??  There is a big picture of life painted in your head.   It says everything and anything means something here. 

Within our own power we can achieve something, and we will feel good.  Sadly if you ever do achieve anything it will feel good for like 2 days, and the achievement no matter how much you kid yourself means nothing. 

While everyone was growing up, and perhaps notching out some type of life for themselves I went a different path.  One where I learned the truth about me, and my life, and what I am capable of.   In things that stand the test of time, I am capable of nothing.   My life here on Earth means absolutely nothing.   I can count on zero fingers the things here that are of value. 

I found the truth of life, and it is not what you expect.   Damn, seems like such a shame too??  We have this Brain, and there is this big World, and seems we should be worth something right??  This life should mean something??  We should be capable of great things?? 

Yeah, it wasn't what I expected, and my path was the worst thing possible.   Many of the things I have been through you could not handle as you are right now.   No matter what type of effort you put in.  I was made different to be able to handle some things, and to be taught some things. 

I had to be humbled to learn my place, and I did this under the prying eyes of only one.   There was no one I could tell of the things I've been through.  It is a crazy story, and that was the chain that kept things a secret.  

It is a great deceit being played with your soul that your life is of some significance.   You are of more value than the coin I have told you.   You would rather listen to what is not true, because it probably makes you feel better.  

Sure truth is hard, and yeah there is tough stuff to do, but isn't that what you want??  Worth??   The gift that makes everything you are about, and your life stand for something??  Something besides whatever propaganda you hold to be your truth?? 

Our lives are filled with the leavened teachings of some form of propaganda.  The truth stands on its own.   It needs no superficial banners and flags to clothe itself with.  It stands for something, because it is better than everything else. 

Don't you want what is good??  Don't you want to do the best thing in your life you can??   Well deny yourself and the fabulous paths you can think up.  They don't mean anything.   There is only one life that means anything, and it is one where you are not the author, manipulator of events, etc...  

Why do you want to keep control of basically nothing with your bad vision of the future??  

What part of anything you do matters when viewed from 6' under?? 

You ain't making this World a better place, it isn't in your power.  It isn't in your power to make you a better person, so why the arrogance that you are all that?? 

The best a person can be is not within your power.   It don't matter what type of sacrifices you try to make.  

Throw out the crap, and grab onto what is true.  Sure it takes courage, and yeah it means everything up to this point means nothing, but everything about your life can be used to help you, so really it isn't pointless.  Your life to this point.   If you hold on though to this World, and grab that as your friend, than yeah your life is headed down a bad direction, and your demons have won, and you will end up a worse person for it.  

So yeah, I have lived a life, and found the truth.  My purpose was for this, and for some reason I was supposed to do the last thing I would ever want to do.  Teach people these lessons. 

How could I do these types of things??  Well, confidence comes from being assured.   Overcoming twice, and putting everything in hands that are not my own.   Assurance that my blessing will make everything I do come out to good.   You see the great divide between two things??   Being right, and being faithful.   They don't meet at the same place.   You are not supposed to be right, because it is not in your power.  You are supposed to be faithful which is believing, and being obedient.   Surely that is about trust and strength huh?? 

Those who hold onto their life and this World are lacking both.   You believe in yourself and your own "greatness" to its own foolish end. 

I have told you many many things.   I have not steered you in the wrong direction, because of my help.   I ain't nothing special, and that some idiot like me can be used for a purpose is really a crazy thing.  

I am sure your weakness is also something I was supposed to learn too.   The people used to do the work before were not believed.   God had a message then he sent his few people out, and everyone always believed the scribes, and pharisees, and hypocrites who clothed themselves in the right way, and perched themselves high upon a pedestal. 

No one wants the truth, because we would rather believe in anything but.   Truth is hard, and as tough as you think you are, you really aren't are you??  You would be so much different now if you listened. 

I am just one man though.   Did what I was asked, and followed the path set before me to where it led.  

I don't ask for any accolades, because someone like me is not worth any of that.   I am done, but I ain't done you know??   The one thing I wanted for 25 years or so still waits. 

Yet you hold on.  

To me that is crazy.  

Oh well, I guess I better go. 

I have to work today both jobs.   I am going to go in an hour to the one.   I'll be home around 1:00 or so.  Gives me time to enjoy the day a bit, before I go to the other job tonight.   Both are going pretty well.   I guess going into work feeling challenged, and like you want to get stuff done is half the battle huh?? 

Oh well.   Later.