A Blessing And A Curse...

Hello, and good afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I am fine.  A lot on my mind already this morning, and a lot of it is me.  I know I know how crazy huh??  So, I know a lot of things.   Some of it is pretty bad, and some of it I would just like to keep to myself.   Not things about me, but things about people.   Human nature.  The things that make us less than who we'd want. 

I think of how I am, and how you are, and we are different.  I was made different a long time ago, and you can never in a million years stand in my shoes, until you are also made like me.  I know my standing, and I know my path. 

Perhaps another parable.  Remember the wineskins??  Yeah, my final thing the wineskin that makes up me will have to be destroyed, and a new one given.   The final rebirth if you will.  There will be a new me.   It will be a better me, and it will be the best a person can be.   This thing I will do will not be fun, and it will be much suffering, but from what I gather I should not be afraid.  I will have the strength of the one who overcame helping me.  It is all written that this is how it happens, but very few have gotten to that point, and in the numbers game, well you know. 

So why me??  No reason at all.   I am not special, and I am not some great person.   I just followed the path of faith, and like everyone else I started out on the the path of right.   The path of right is you trying to work your way, and the path of faith is where everything is out of your control.   How hard is that to give up??  Control??

Why is it so hard??  We are humans.  We are born with an elevated view of ourselves.   Human nature.   We think we should be able to figure everything out.   We can send a man on the moon, but it says nowhere we are the ones who open our own eyes to be able to see the writing for as it is.  

I see the sword for how it is, but the best way to view the sword is with understanding, and isn't that what it has always been about anyway??  To get to that point. 

My actions and me are selfish'ish in a way, although I guess this blog isn't.   My life is very very much about me, but for me to overcome I needed strength to give up my life, and that would help others.   At least the first time.  The 2nd time was just Here is your option.  You are the worst of the worst, and there is nothing you can do about it.   What do you say of that??  No hope, and no nothing.   "I will do whatever is God's will". 

So, I put everything in the hands of one more powerful than me.  It is always that little step huh??  Not my will, but yours.   Isn't that the final turn too.  

Don't think it was really easy for me, and I even had to do some foolish stuff to follow up.   I was made to look silly and stuff. 

Geesh all this was so long ago though.   So there is this whole story here.   It goes against everything you want to believe, and it goes against all your hopes, and everything YOU want.  A blind step of selflessness, and you have all these other things YOU want to accomplish.  

Tough things to do, and you haven't even done one thing yet.   You haven't lived one part of the life that is out there for you, because you still are born of this World.   It is your home, and the only thing you believe in. 

I've steered you in a good direction.  Yes I spose it is difficult, because you already have these flawed beliefs, and they are from teachers who told you to stop, even though you haven't even started.   They told you, you are good now.  Go out and do your best.  I had to live a life to find the answers, and I am here to tell you all your teachers were wrong.  They told you the wrong things.  How hard is that to step away from??  

Especially coming from a person like me???  It is why my story has taken place for over 25 years.   My story stands the test of time, and isn't that what you want for your life??   To grab onto the stuff that stands the test of time??

Truth does.  Grab it, even though it is crazy scary. 

Fear is a good thing, because it keeps us in our place.   Arrogance is a bad thing, because it makes us think we are all that. 

So yeah, a lot to do.

You have yet to make the correct step.  The battle between what you know is right, and what you want.   Selfish, or selfless.  Who wins?? 

That is your story, and we will see how it plays out. 
 

Well, I gotta run.  Not really, but a figure of speech.  I have been sleeping real good these days.   I have a two day stretch now where I work both jobs.  Tonight is a short night though.  I want Wednesday to be a long night, because it is when I clean, and sort, and organize my whole area.   Time to straighten up from the week, and stuff.   It can be a short night eventually, but stuff has to get organized first, and they don't give me enough time.  

Maybe next week.  

Laterzzzz alll.   :)))   xoxoxo and xxxxxx and all that other stuff.   :)