Tuesday, July 29, 2014

A Tale Of Two Mornings...

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I am 1000 times different now then when I originally woke up.  I woke up, and thought about my blog.   I was like this thing is broken.  I got nothing, and there is nothing really on my mind.

A switch was flipped on, and then all of a sudden a lot was on my mind.  My life, and this blog, and this journey it leads us on.  

Some of the things on my mind were about this blog.  Where it came from to where it has gone to where it is going.   This blog was once upon a time a running blog, and before anything I had a sbr blog believe it or not.  Due to whatever reasons my swimming could no longer be.   A chronic ache that to this day still remains if I make the swimming motion. 

So then it was a running blog kinda, and last week I ran 3 times in 3 days.  2 miles each time, and my knees were achey again.   So, is this even a running blog??  Am I chronic knee guy??  I don't know.  I will probably buy another new pair of shoes once funds are there.   You would think as much as I work the funds would be limitless, but this week starts the new schedule money machine.  I get paid every week at my night time job.   Every two weeks at my other job, and my wife gets paid every two weeks.   This week will be my first time of getting paid for two full weeks at my increased hours at the 2nd job, and it also coincides with the paycheck I still get paid every week, and also Lisa just so happens to get paid this week too.  So every other week we get a lot of money coming in.    So that is that.   :)

Anyway none of that is really important, but I was thinking of my analogy of coin, and life I use.   It just so happens I thought of that this morning.   I thought of the parable of the 5 coins, and I know who my first 5 were.   They were 5 people from the Summer of my discontent.   I have no idea what some of them are even doing.  Katrina, Lora??  No idea.   Jim my brother is dead.   I know who the 2nd 5 were too.   They happen to come along some 20 years later or whatever.   I sorta know what 3 of them are up to.  So that is some of the crazy stuff of my life.   That it took me so long to couple the old lady giving up her coin to what I already knew to be the 5+5 is kinda crazy.  Actually though this whole paragraph is crazy sounding although very real.  It is very true, and 100% correct. 

I thought this morning of people whose blogs I read.   I looked inside myself, and I could see the person I am.   I can see the little person inside me who is stronger than he ever would have been if I hadn't done the things I have done, and if I wasn't helped in all the ways I have been helped, and continue to be helped every day.   Who knew this heart, which is not in my hands could be what it is.  All my courage and all my strength comes from my help.   I am in no way the person I would be without it. 

I then thought about the blogs I read, and I see very little of the people who do the writing.   I cannot see them from what they write.  They show so very little, and I realized they cannot see themselves either.   You are blind to who you are, and I am afraid it will remain that way, as long as you continue on your same path.  The choice is you, or wisdom, and knowledge, and strength, and things like that.  There is no other way. 

I also thought about what has happened throughout the years.   How many deaths have come across my plate here.   So many people have lost brothers, and Dads, and Moms and such.  It is a tale of two lives too that so much has been done with Steve R's death, and very little from my brother Jim.   Definitely not my plan. 

I think it is unfair of me, and I don't think the best outcome, but I really am not in charge of the things done am I??  I don't have a plan with this thing, and I don't really have a purpose.   I just write the things that are in my heart. 

So it is a tale of two people here also.  Me and you.   I know who I am.  I know the story of my life, and I know the direction I go.   I know the outcome of my life, and I know the gifts I will eventually receive after I do my last thing.  I thought about that this morning too.  I hit the alligator on the head 3 times, and then Katrina and I can hug.  That happened a long time ago, and I thought how many have I done??  Those 6 days, the hospital.  An unfortunate acid trip where I talked to Satan for 6 hours.  (My only time for that.  I free-based coke or crack once too.) 

Ends up Once was the Hospital, and once was at a time when I was working.  The end of the Journey.  Both times were me overcoming.   Not the simple coin you are asked, but when it came to saving my life or going to Hell, I said "Your will" even if it is Hell.   I was given the strength to hold onto nothing.   I was blinded when the judges took me over, and could not see anything.   Blind to everything except to what they wanted me to see.  Much how your demons blind you now to who you are.   You are overpowered by things inside you which you don't even know about.  For me to overcome I needed help.  At the right time and the right place I had to say the write things, and it was not in my power to do what needed to be done. 

Hospital I thought myself doomed, and for me to wake up the next day was probably the biggest shock in my life.   The 2nd time I knew good was done right away, and you know it was then and  there the blessing I received right prior to going in the hospital actually took hold. 

So much has been done for me, and My strength comes from this whole story, and all this stuff.

It is a tale of two mornings I found something to write, and it is a tale of two people that you know so much about me, and I know so very little about you.  

I know the direction you must go, but you want that dang coin of yours huh?? 

I get it, and I know the difficult things you are asked to do, and I know it is a blind step, and I have no idea what things will look like for you.  This thing was a blog of trust and strength, and how important is trust??  Not easy.   Heck even I was not trusting enough til after the Journey to know my outcome was good.  Part of the plan too, because Faith is perfected through trials and tribulations, and my path is where faith and right meet.   The Earth cannot stand where these two meet, and it just so happens to meet at the same place where understanding takes place.   Where Heaven and Earth meet. 

Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.   The day I dreamed of the race I won.  I went where no one can go, but I was not happy, because there was no one with me.   I led you through the final turn, but you could not hang.  So on we went, and I am sure we picked up some more people, but the things asked of you still need to be done.   A battle between you and your inner demons.  

Anyway, that is it for today.  :)


Have a good one. 

Love You All!!!   :)))'

xoxoxoxo   and xxxxxxx

MWAH!!    :)

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