Hello, and good morning. How's it going?? Me, I am okay. I got a good night sleep. I woke up pretty early, and wasn't sure how that would work. I was kinda up, but I could sleep more too I thought. I did sleep more, and slept good too. Even woke myself up when I was about to go into a bad dream.
Wanna know how I did it?? I thought this isn't real, so I woke myself up. Weird huh??
Anyway I thought of many things. I looked inside myself, and it was like looking into a vast wasteland that went on forever. Inside me is open, and I could see a long way. Inside me was a sword too, and I guess the sword helps me see this vast area is just a wasteland. The sword is the sword of truth so it will see through things.
It is the wilderness. The wilderness I endured many years back. Only thing now is I don't care. What people really are is ants. We all live in our little colonies doing our labors. We just don't realize the importance of what we do in our labors is not more important than the ants.
Our brains are better though. We are humans, so in this vast wasteland we decorated. We made prizes, and buildings. We started having parades. We packaged items to make them look nice. Now some people's labor now is to find better ways to package stuff.
The human is bound to get angry. Some people kill others about it, so rules were made. People outsmart the rules, so now there are people whose labor is to write out the fine print in everything.
There are costumes, and uniforms. There are any number of things. All this does is hide the true nature of the vast wasteland we live in. The sword is used to judge, but for me it just looks at the truth of this life.
Now that is a tough thing to accept. People have all lived lives that aren't perfect. They have been hurt, and they hurt people. The sword suggests two things. One being yep you've been hurt. Others too. It doesn't give you a free ticket anywhere. A look at the History of the World is a History of suffering. People have made people suffer forever. Most by believing their cause was right. Their cause was really just an ant's labor in a colony. Their true worth was way over exaggerated.
That too is the life we are born in. We were born to over exaggerate our true importance.
One day we all die, and our years in the end don't matter much. If you added to the pageantry of life, well that doesn't matter either.
For a life to matter you have to let the World beat the crap out of you. You have to become it's enemy. That is my destination. To go where few have gone. To come on the other side an enemy of this World.
The World is a trap really. It doesn't want people to know the truth.
I am not worth much right now, but I have already gained points in this vast wasteland. A solo journey. I have a sword, but without understanding it isn't much good. It does know the wilderness when it sees it. My sword will have to become perfect by going where the fire is hot.
That is when I become the best a person can be.
Currently the ants continue to be busy doing their ant labor. What happens if something comes. Raises a rock and you see your colony is not the only thing around.
Ants are blind to the true nature of their existence. Much like us. Only problem is it is your job to learn the true nature of your existence. The World wants you to add to life's pageantry though. It takes pretty good vision to see the true nature of your existence. Most people have to be nearing their death to get close. Kinda like the thief. We all are the thief too. Some look at the truth and act like the thief. Some fall short of the truth and figure they are better than Hitler, and we do pretty good ant labor in our colony.
The true nature of our existence ain't no joke.
Pretty crazy huh?? Are you strong enough to be the thief, or do you fall short?? All the World teaches falls short. I lived the thief's life. I've been where he was. I accepted my ending. I gotta do it once more too. I have to accept the ending I deserve.
That Summer way back when, after the hospital I still wasn't free. I had to get to the point where victory was. If I am destined for Hell let me accept it as that which I deserve. That is how I will enter. How I exit is another's story, and that was done centuries ago.
So yeah I currently am happy, cuz I know my story. I currently know a lot too, cuz while many were out making their life. Mine was being made for me. I endured the wilderness, and I've learned a lot along the way.
That is it for today!!! :)
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p.s. you know the story. Finish coffee, and take Hope.
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