Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I have absolutely nothing to write about right now, and I am totally in the air about even posting a blog, but you know, it is kinda a thing I do, so I guess I can wing it for like the 900th time or so. ;)
So what is going on with me?? Nothing. Not a damn thing. Just doing this life thing. I work, and sleep, and eat, and drink. Work is going fine. Keeps me busy. I have a lot to do around the house today. I already started laundry, and I have to clean clean clean. I will have to take the Hopester for a little run in a bit. Probably just a little 3 miler. I ran 3 miles yesterday, and I am sore. :) It was at 9:20 pace, which is probably a little fast for running once in like 2 months or so, but that is the pace we ran at. It feels good to be out of shape. Where just a little run is work. Been a long time for that. I don't know how long I'll be able to run distance wise, because I am not 100% at all. Things still bug me. Nothing too horrible, but you never know what they will turn into. Running many times is just a hope for the best. At least those of us who tend to get injured.
Anyhooooo, this year is way different than before. This blog doesn't seem as important to me. I wake up, and many times I am like ehhhh. I can totally take it or leave it, and in previous years when I would wake up, I'd really want to do it. What does that mean?? No idea.
I would imagine eventually your walls and defenses will come crashing down. It will have to happen you know that right?? All who you are on the inside will have to be seen, and there is no defense for it. Oh people still try, but you try at holding on. You try at keeping some kind of meaning and importance to your life, but the truth will break you down. Your life will break you down, and eventually you realize there is nothing here for you.
All the things you believe in that are good and decent and stuff about life is just a false vision. A false vision you will have to overcome. All that is false, and all that is lies is easy to find. It is everywhere around you. What is hard to find is the truth. People want to believe in their better nature, but your better nature is not perfect. There are no Saints to give you answers. There are no books to give you what you need. Nope the answers you need and want are hidden, and once you accept that I bet it will help you a lot.
I mean you can look in your heart, and see it isn't perfect. You can look at your life, and feel it falls short. The truth of life is a feeling like we are missing something. Shouldn't things have been better??? Shouldn't this Shit be more fun?? Shouldn't I feel better about myself???? Shouldn't I give a crap more about others???
There is a way to a better you, and it is a choice. So I guess people are being torn. Maybe it is because the truth is kinda scary. Do you want people to know your darker insides?? Your hate and jealousy, and vengeful nature?? Do you want them to know the demons you battle??? Very few do, because the story is the same. You let people see you they will have ammunition to judge you. They will, many of them too, I bet.
So let us take a look at your life. What are you accomplishing?? What is it doing in the big picture of life?? What path are you going to take to make a difference in anything at all??
I have hinted at it before. You aren't accomplishing anything, and you haven't yet. Your just living this life thing, and there is not much here at all. Do you believe there is a way to make you a better you?? If only we could work at it. Boy would that be easy. As my blog is the wait, and I started it right after I overcame the 2nd time, and why I called it the wait is anyone's guess. It just hit me to call it that, and I have no idea why?? It came to me a bit later the why.
It has been a long time since I have been over 2/3rds done. That is one of the crazy miracles too, because all really is possible, and this thing should have been done long long ago. It isn't done though, and that makes me wonder what this year will hold. I have no idea.
The funny thing about this thing here though is you as a person are going to get worse and worse. You will be more angry, and more of almost everything you don't want to be. Why?? As a person you kinda have to hit rock bottom I think. Feel bad enough you are not the person you want to be that you seek out other answers, than what you have been doing all this time. So there will be hard days, and that I fully expect.
We shall see though. Life goes on and so does yours. Will you show the World your dark side, and your innermost secrets??? We all have 'em. We all hide 'em, because that is what Adam did when he learned the difference between good and evil. A silly person in the Garden of Eden is pretty dumb I tell you. He doesn't know these things, and he doesn't know he is supposed to hide that stuff from the eyes of the World. The light is the truth, and the truth is some crazy crazy stuff. We are afraid of the light, because we don't want people to see, but we also do too, because we want to feel accepted and loved, and all that stuff, but there is no easy way is there??
So anyway we will see what happens this year.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. I think I am going to make pancakes for breakfast, switch the laundry, and then do my run. It will be a recovery run, because you know. I did run 3 miles yesterday. ;)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Toodle oooooooo. :)