Hello, and good morning all...still. I was really on a pretty good roll of sleeping really good after work, until today. I slept like an hour, so I will need to nap before work tonight. Hold on, I got some coffee, so I am going to get it. I will be right back.
I think of a lot of things. I have this life that I live. If you have been around these here parts you know a lot of it. The story of me is like the story of you. It is about our past. You have been here for however many years, and things have happened. Now I know, I know I have the ability to think of any number of things at any time. It helps make my life not boring and not monotonous. I have the ability to just be, and that is what I was kinda trying to say in my previous post. I have an important position, and an important job, but not in the ways you think. Not a job, and title of this World, but other things.
I can just be, because my heart is in other hands. I am tied up in good ways and bad ways. As free as I am, I am not done. My story is not done, and it is because many of you your story has barely begun. You are tied to yourself and this World. Looking to create a name for yourself or whatever, and you don't know what it is that causes you to be weak. You don't know really the first thing about yourself, because almost everything has always been hidden.
I know things, and they are not pleasant things. They are ugly truth types of things, and these are things I tried to shelter for... well since the early 90's. That I am the way I am, and able to live the life I am is pretty crazy. I think why are people scattered all over the place. I realized this morning it probably is much like my day outside the garbage room of Bromenn Healthcare. Where I wanted to be was in a good safe position, and I was the farthest person away from that.
I was led on a horrible journey. It lasted the whole Summer, and the worst of the worst was with me the whole way. That I was singled out to overcome 3 times is just another story. There must be something to having everybody be scattered to help bring more along. That was the answer I got that day way back when. To be honest I was just searching for myself. To live in fear day after day after day was horrible. I am what I am now. As empty as I was way back when, but not afraid of it. I am secure. I trust the right things, and I accept how I am. Do I want to be a better person?? No. I have nothing to prove to anyone. Nothing to prove to myself, because I see what life really is. I know what it is about.
How?? That is my story, and that is my life, and that is what it was leading too. A lot of years, and a lot of life. As you can tell too nobody's life is more important than yours. That is how you are, and most people probably don't care too too much about your life, and what you do.
We are selfish. We really only care about ourselves, and what is in it for me. No one is out trying to help people. Everyone has a story, and chances are much of it is sad. Your hearts are too hard though, because you still value the wrong things too much. You trust in the wrong things, and you have an unrealistic outlook on life, and stuff.
Why?? Because you have to give up yourself in order to be on a better path. The path of you is a blind path. One where you miss out on so much of life, but you trust it now.
Can you look out a window, and see how small, and meaningless just one life is?? Can you see the silly existence we live? There is nothing in this World to accomplish. The World is not meant to be made a better place, especially by people who do not have any ability whatsoever to accomplish any of that.
If you can look into the sad eyes of a person in one of their quiet alone times, I bet you'd see life more clearer. Look at that enticing path out there. The path of you. Look how enticing it is, and look at what the History books will say about you.
Nothing really. The World is the great deceiver, and we were never ever strong enough, or wise enough to see past it. You were born into this World needing help, but most of yous is all growed up. Able to take care of things yourself, but you have not seen what I have seen. You don't know what I know, and that there is a great divide between you and I.
Oh well. I didn't get enough sleep, and I work tonight. Lisa is doing a girls night out thingy, with Hotel room and everything. :) LOL.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I was going to run today, but I will wait. Weather is looking pretty good. Funny how I think mid to upper 30's is awesome weather. :) What a Winter.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D