Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Blogging A Chore For Me??

I don't know if blogging is really a chore for me, but lately opening up my computer is.  :)  I mean I open my phone and stuff, but not so much my computer these days.  I am not sure why.  I don't know if I am bored with blogging. 

I can tell you some things about blogging and me...  Perhaps a list.   This isn't warnings or anything, just some stuff about me. 

  • I don't have to blog.   It is something I do, but I don't have to.
  • My life is pretty stupid, but we do okay.  You know??  
  • I am pretty anti-social these days.   Just me my life and work.   
  • Maybe I just don't have anything in common with people.  
  • Lisa and I work, eat, and sleep.  Then other things.  

Anyway I started working at the local grocery store that is closer to my house.   The first night went pretty well.  We worked hard, got stuff done in a timely fashion.   It is a newer store, and has bright lights so not so depressing.  I never realized how depressing the older store was.  Lights do make a difference.  Who knew??

I was offered a full time position from the owner of the cleaning company who has me clean the bank.   I probably would have done stuff I used to do in College and right after.   You know the Khien Pham thing and all.   I was totally going to take that job, and as I was cleaning the bank on Sunday I decided to do the grocery store, even though I will make less money.  Why??   I like doing what I do at the grocery store.   I like that other people are in charge and have the weight of everything on them.  I am able to handle things like that, but sometimes it ain't so bad to just be a laborer.  So that is that.   After working at the bank I see a lot of desks, and cubicles and offices.   That is a lot of sit down time.   From what I gather it probably is a lot of snacking on crap time, and eating fast food time too.

This is just life though.   The thing we are here doing.   I spend a lot of time thinking about different things.   This morning I was thinking about Philip Seymour Hoffman.   What is a life like that like??   He has achieved every level of success his career affords.   He has a girl friend and 3 kids.   I don't know the ages.   He has all the money he will ever need.   What to do with the spare time??  Our lives are full of striving a lot of times huh??   Many times perhaps we think the deck is stacked against us so we become bitter.   If we feel things are possible then life ain't horrible, but I come along and tell you none of it matters anyway.

Through blogs, and social networking I gather people don't believe me.  You believe in yourself, and your life, and society, and all the things you can see.   Our jobs do matter.   This cubicle I sit in is important, because I am doing important stuff.   :)   LOL.  

Life is a journey, and it is a journey of you.   Who are you??  What are you made of??   Why are you not perfect??   Why can you not make yourself perfect??   Why do we think the sacrifices we make matter??   Why do we think that after we stop eating  sugar for like 30 days we won't crave it anymore??   Why do people do heroin when they already kicked the habit??  Why anything??  Why do we think we matter??   Why is our life set up in such a way, that getting to the truth is so hard, and all we can do is put up a facade of our life.

Life is such a sad and depressing thing.   Nothing to it really, and Solomon saw this a long time ago.  You will never accomplish more than him, and look where it all led.  It only led to the truth of life.   The ants have created a busy busy thing with their societies, and rules, and regulations, and wars, and stuff.   All meaning nothing.   We are one of the ants too kinda.   We are part of that World.   The other World out there you don't see, and you don't feel.  I don't know if any of you even will.   I don't have a lot of trust or faith in you to do the right thing.  

Oh well.   That is it for today.   I'll see you next time I decide to open up my computer probably.


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