Hello, and good afternoon all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. Obviously I don't blog much this year, and actually it coincides with me not opening my computer much either. I open my phone, and see stuff, but you see quite a bit less than on the computer, for whatever reason.
Anyhooo, I did get a little glimpse of me. I mean really I walk this Earth, and sometimes I am so puzzled by people. What are you striving for?? What are you trying to achieve?? Why??? What is the point?? Then I think why am I the way I am, and people are going on and on..
Well let me tell you, I am the way I am because this is how I am supposed to be. I have been through all the things I need to go through, (less one) and I know the meaning of me. I know the meaning of my life. I know the meaning of all things, and all lives. We are on two different planes so to speak. My life is over. It is done. It is completed basically, and I just wait for one thing. Who I am now is nothing really. It isn't who I will be. Who I will be is totally my final destination. the thing I have been waiting since the early 90's. It is the someone you don't think is possible. I will be the best a person can be. An achievable thing with really all help. I cannot strive for it, and I cannot rush my way into it. I cannot make the time for it, or even do anything to really make this thing happen.
So you see where we are different?? My life is no longer. A pointless blip on the screen of life. Your life you hold onto, because it is all you know. It is all you have ever seen, and it is all you can understand. Well, I went a different way. I went a way where I did not know where my steps were taking me. I went a path that surely was not fun. It was scary. All the bad things that are out in the World tried to make my walk harder. I was asked to go solo. Find my way, and I had a heart that was not very comfortable. A doomed person walking the streets looking for my way. Now many of you remember I spent that one summer where I had maybe one good moment the whole Summer. A night of playing basketball where I could forget about everything for like an hour or so. I saw many things. I was shown the World through God's eyes. All the hidden things he sees. All the things we do in the dark, and in the shadows, and keep hidden from all eyes but one. I was shown the glory of God too on this same night. That was good too, because I thought why would he show me this if I am destined to be doomed??
That summer ended up with a blessing. I was in the reception area of the Old People's part of Bromenn Healthcare. I could feel the blessing being placed on my head, but I did not care. I was seeking other stuff, and I was being judged heavily. There was no hope, and my heart knew nothing but fear. Then I went into the hospital. Why did I have to go into the Hospital?? I was overtaken. By one stronger than me. I was told I can save myself, but at the expense of my friends. There was no way out. In my heart was placed the strength to say "God's Will be done". I knew it meant my life though. My days were done, and eternity waited. On this night my brother Jim was with me, as many of you know, I was chained up to a bed waiting for my suffering to happen. In my heart I knew the others were saved, and I was doomed. Jim said I had "Mom's death eyes". Surely I was on my way. My final moments were here. I just asked Jim if they could take off the chains. I didn't want to be tied up.
As I awaited my horrible death to happen, I fell asleep. To my complete fricken surprise, I woke up the next day. God's will was done, and it surely wasn't what I thought. I made many mistakes along the path, I guess, but there was no road map. I wasn't walking by sight at all. I was lead on this path of life to find answers, and find the truth. I suffered much along the way, and many moments over the past several years had some hard spots too. Things you cannot see, and things you may not even think are out there. I've gone up against evil spirits who are definitely more crafty with the sword than I am. I didn't win that is for sure, but I didn't lose, because it isn't the plan. What I have to do now is Go where there is no hope, and Understand the thing that was done centuries ago. Follow in the footsteps I was asked to. I will be forsaken, and the light with which I now live my life will be gone, but one will remain. To be with me on my walk of suffering. The final thing I knew I must do. It is my path to salvation. What I was asked to do.
So forgive me if I know what life is about. Forgive me if I know the outcome of all endeavors, and the significance of all endeavors. I know the meaning of most things, and I know the worth of most things. All avenues lead to death, but one.
No escaping that.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I am fricken sore from stripping floors yesterday. The edges, the edges. Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrape, scrape, scrape. Zoiks. I am way too old to be using muscles that haven't been used in a while. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D