Sunday, April 6, 2014

What Is In A Life??

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I guess I am doing okay.  My day yesterday was out of whack.  I didn't sleep enough after work.  I wanted to make Lisa a nice dinner to celebrate her new job.  I made ribs.  I had some wine and fell asleep early.  That is the problem with not getting enough sleep.  I know I'll be sleeping early.  I guess it is okay, because I wasn't going to do anything anyway. 

So what is in a life??  To where I am now I get frustrated easy I think.  There isn't much in a life, and that is a hard thing to accept really.  I mean it is a big World out there, and there is a lot of color, and there are trees, and things, and flowers, and blue skies, and blue water, and green grass. 

You would think there is something good out there huh, with all that out there.   Throughout all of History people had to make a decision.  Do what felt right in their heart, or do whatever the people in charge wanted us to do.  That is what life a lot of times boils down to.  A choice.  Many times we trust the people in charge too, but they are just people.  As imperfect as you and me.   Motives are not always clear.  Society is an imperfect entity.  It is here really to ensnare and enslave us basically.  Do this, and do that.  Our Corporate overlords put fear into their employees.  As an hourly person it really has no bearing on anything, but to those in charge.  In management positions they typically will side with their corporate overlords, as opposed to what is decent and right.   Enslaved to their jobs.   Why??  You lose your job you lose your house, and stuff right??

People really should never use the word freedom in any sense, because that is the last thing you have.   Nope, you have to go out and as much as possible make sure all your i's are dotted, and t's are crossed, because what may happen.

So, as I say what is in a life??   Well, death is a certainty.  You won't escape that.   Death is hard for us to see though.   We have our life, and why do we think we will live forever??

I've gone on and on with this here blog.   It, and a couple others have been around for years.  What is in a life??  Let's look at mine.  There is nothing here.   I grew up.  It was mostly a normal'ish life with all kinds of imperfections.   A little boy growing up, and trying to do what was right.  As a young man I had to learn the balance between work and play.  So I did all that Society asked of me, and my life made a big turn.  So I go on and do this crazy stuff that no one saw but me, and the maker of my path.  I survive the night of the Hospital only to suffer a bit more, until the energy came back.   My work was done.  I knew I had other stuff to do, but it was going to be later.  I didn't know it was going to be like 17 years later.

So anyway I start up Heimleblog and I was heavy into training.  I swam 3-4 times/week only to have such bad form I am guessing I cannot swim anymore.   I rode my bike a lot, and was always training for distance.  Running Hills, and trails, and wherever and whenever.   Always trying to stay healthy.

Anyway I ran a few marathons, and had a living trail of my endeavors with my blogs.   My life wasn't always easy, as I had to suffer some stuff along the way.   Take stuff from others.  Sometimes I even took the worst parts of others, and I think that was so they could get a clearer picture of their life.   Our demons inside us hide real life from us.   It often takes serious things like a death to put things in proper perspective.  

So anyway I have done all these things, and if this here blog the wait is any indication of anything, it is life doesn't mean anything.   We really are not in charge of anything at all.  My blog had a purpose, and it meant something, but it fell on deaf ears.   No one would listen, and no one would pay attention, even though I put a lot of time into it.  I am not really all that mad about it, because Most days I felt like doing it.   These days I wake up, and many times I really don't care.

I don't care about anything I have to write, and I don't care if anyone reads it, because it is a quid pro quo in a way, and so far it has only gone one way.  

People have their own lives, and you have to live it, but you will be pulled.  Not by me either, because there is a story going on.  It isn't your story, and you are not the author of the story.   You remain blind though, because you want to hang onto you.

Deep down I think we all want to be happy, and we want to matter, and we want to make a difference.   There only is one way for that.   Always has been and always will.   Oh, I know the History books will paint great pictures of all the great deeds people have done, but History books are painted with false brushes, and false colors.   Howard Zinn is closest to the truth, but no one wants to look at the truth.   I guess it is too scary.  Why??  It means everything we ever believed in is wrong.   We have been wrong our whole life.

Yeah,   Did that crap a long time ago.  

What is in a life??  A lot of imperfection.   Most people don't want to show that stuff, because aren't we supposed to be "this type" of person??  Many people only want to try and show the self-perceived attributes that they believe will be respected.

Well truth is respected, and that is what being tough is all about.  The truth ain't about being perfect.   It is about all the ways we fail in life.   You know the stuff we want everyone not to know. 

So anyway, I guess this is long winded. 

So I will say goodbye for now.  

We are going to see a movie.  The new Captain America.  I am going to take the Hopester for a little run.   I am basically just a 3 mile runner here and there.   After my runs I typically struggle bending at work later in the night.  :)  No biggie.  


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