Hello, and good morning. How's it going?? Me, I guess I am doing okay. I am out of it a bit, and have been for a little bit. Not feeling as spry as I usually do. Not sure all the reasons, but I can typically always count on myself feeling a certain way. I have a routine, and it typically works okay for me, but now it hasn't been. I haven't felt all that great this past weekend.
So today I will change my routine. Maybe add a little rest, and maybe a little more productivity outside of work too. ;) I sometimes wish in ways I would be a better husband in ways like that, but sometimes I am just bored with everything.
Nothing really too too much has changed with me. I still have my knee issues, and last night at work I could feel it, because I ran yesterday morning. I will feel it tonight even though I probably won't run. I will probably bike though.
You want to know what I have been holding onto forever?? Posts like yesterday. I was thinking about why do I do posts like that. Why do I show you the inside of me, when I know the inside of me is not a good thing to look at.
You know my life went on in a certain direction. It was pretty normal'ish looking on the outside although very different on the inside. I knew things I never told people, but my life had goals, and I wanted to accomplish stuff kinda. Everything changed after My Journey blog, and the start of this one here. I did my thing at the end of the journey, and really all was good. I always have this dark cloud kinda, about the final thing I must do, but that is a good thing. A thing leading in a good direction. The only thing different about me now is after overcoming for the second time I learned my place.
I don't matter. I don't have a redeeming quality. I am being led on this path, and I never really deserved anything. I am not some noble person who was picked out because I am special. I learned thorough my ordeals my true worth. Yet to this day as I walk this Earth I am only worth one coin. One life, doing silly little things, and writing silly little blogs. I guess there is some important stuff in here, but still your life is your life, and your walk is your walk, and I've laid out some information it took me a lot of time, a lot of life, and a lot of suffering to learn.
I am different than all of you, and I have been made this way. I am open, and I am visible, I can be seen at all times, and I know and feel I can be seen. Sometimes I get taken down a not so good road, and sometimes it is from reading some not so good stuff.
I put a lot of trust in people. I trust them to be strong, and to brace themselves for the hard lessons in life. I ask them to not shy away from the tough lessons, because in life above all you are asked to be strong. Life has a bunch of crap to it, and there is no hiding from it.
I know I say things like life doesn't matter, and all our activities matter not one bit in the grand scheme of things, because I know these things to be true.
To look inside me is to see someone who believes life would have been better not to have been lived, but I am here. Doing what I do. I try not to show you all that is inside me, because it is my cross to bear so to speak. (not really sure the spelling of bare, bear??)
There is a story going on, and it is a story of the ages, and it will be done, but the path is not always visible, and most times you cannot see it at all I bet. A tough road for many of us, because it is a path to make us all strong, and many of the things you cannot yet fathom or understand.
Sometimes I think why me?? Why am I this crazy way, and the answer is in this blog. For no reason at all.
Oh well, I guess that is it for today. I hope I feel more my normal'ish self soon. I think after a nice honest days labor tonight at work usually does the trick.
See you all. :) xoxo