The Week

So, we are finishing up another week. My day to day life doesn't change all too much really. This week my Dad went into the hospital. He left yesterday,  and he seemed in good spirits. I talked to him on the phone everyday this week,  and I think I should do that more.

I kinda go along in my life not really thinking of others too much. I think when I was with my Dad in Chicago I think I felt he should think of other things than he does. Who gives a fuck about the exercise bike?  His life had some missteps,  but he came up in a different age. A farm boy from Iowa. How the fuck he ever thought to go College,  and graduate I have no idea.  He at times made good money, but I think he fell into a trap where he always didn't like working.   He was a sales rep at times for various firms, and I bet he fudged his reports. He was at home a lot I remember.  Then he used to do that paper route too for extra income. I wonder why that was. Maybe cuz he was up by 3:00 AM 365 days/ year so why not? 

He dabbled in real estate, and who knows what else. He falls for every fad that comes along. No stranger to get rich quick, or self help fiction books, tapes and what not. I guess an Iowa boy who now is a product of the Chicago suburbs. When I visited a couple weeks ago I noticed very few houses had ridge vent on their roofs,  so very few houses have had their roofs redone recently. I thought that pretty strange, cuz in West Michigan everyone redoes their roof.

Palatine was a sprawling Suburb that is aging. They have the same Jewel grocery store that hasn't changed in years. Their produce section is better than I've seen around here though.

Anyway the old man is fine,  and he's outlived most of the people in his life. Can't say he's shed a tear about any of it.

Now that I think of it he put a new roof on our house when we were growing up. He also built a professional grade shed with my Grandpa. We used to sleep in the rafters when we would sleep out there in the Summer.

He does fall guilty though seeking honor somewhere where there isn't. There is none in life. If we don't die young we die when we are old. None of our existence is really significant. It's just a thing we were thrown into. Anyway, I think I'll give my Dad a call everyday. No harm in talking a few minutes.

My life goes on. It is Spring, so I have a million plans. I've been getting little things done after work everyday so far. I think we will get a lot done this Summer. We are getting a quote soon for a new driveway. This Sunday I start working every Sunday evening, and will have every Monday off. That should be fun. A Day Off every week too.

Anyway, just getting shit down. It's what I do if I don't  sleep in.

I'll cya. 

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

Sleep Matters.

This morning I feel well rested. I woke up early, and knew I felt good. I feel I am a naturally pretty good sleeper. It matters, and we spend so much time doing it it must be important.

I talked to my Dad yesterday. He is doing good. He called me after an afternoon nap, and said he doesn't think he ever slept so good. He also was surprised how good he felt because of it.

I try to get a picture of him in my mind. Like what he thinks and stuff. He's outlived most his friends I bet. I don't really know if he is a person people ever got close to. He's probably selfish a bit, but I couldn't help feel he is now alone in the World. I asked him before to come live with us just to make it easier on him, but he wants to stay in Chicago. He doesn't really approve of Lisa's brother either. A pot smoking gamer.

Lisa's brother never ate a fruit or vegetable to my knowledge. He drinks 2-3 2-litres of pop each day, and his health at like 40 is shit. He hasn't worked a full week without coming home sick in forever.

So anyway life at our end is very much different than our care free days of youth, although we weren't really care free back then either.

Yesterday was just another day. To my knowledge I broke my last pair of flip flops last year, so I bought two pairs yesterday. Kohls is by Lisa's work,  so we went out to dinner. It was okay. Just a day you know? What I am most excited about is feeling recharged completely from maybe being a bit tired to start the week, or maybe even a bit under the weather. Not sure.

My brother John liquidated a pretty significant asset. House paying off size plus sized asset times 2. I will be basically living for free. No rent, no mortgage, just insurance,  utilities,  and property taxes. Who lives like that after High School?  That is pretty awesome, but I currently fill my days the way I want. I like my jobs, and I like working.  Talking to my Dad yesterday makes me realize one of the keys to my success is I am a good sleeper normally.  I rarely sleep 8 hours, but 6 or 7 is pretty normal. It's usually pretty good sleep too.  I don't wake up to pee at night, and I am not a light sleeper. I'd be a bad watch dog.

Anyway today is starting off pretty good.   I have time to get a good run in, and it will be another day.

The important lesson of today is sleep. It's pretty important.

Anyhoo, I guess that's good.  :)

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Byeeee.    :)

70° Works.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I feel like I got a good night sleep last night. I needed a little catch up I think. Not too much, cuz I don't feel I got tired yesterday, but maybe just a little.   We got most of the back yard done, and I guess I am ready to start growing grass in the areas that need it.

I talked to my dad a couple times yesterday, and he was scared a bit, but the docs aren't really worried. A person coming to grips with their own mortality I can work with. A person trying to single themself out as special,  unique,  or other such stuff I have no use for. We are one of the trillions who walked this place. And we will not beat our own mortality. Everyone thinks they know what the end will be like, but you don't. There is a part of us that just turns to dust, ashes, and bone, and eventually oil maybe. The other part we don't really know. I can guarantee for you it is not what you think.

I think about myself, and I am kinda cold and heartless in a way. A person internally with little to no worth. Yep, that's me. In the wilderness we find we aren't all that. All our plans are plans, and we don't really make this place any better.   I suspect we try to show we are special somehow, but we aren't.

I guess the World teaches us we are supposed to be caring,  and compassionate, and other stuff, but a true look inside our hearts shows us we are lacking in all areas. That is kinda what I mean.  To be the best a person can be is a good goal, but it is out of our reach. There are no "better personality" calisthenics you can do to improve yourself on the inside.   All you can do is fake it, but that is nowhere near the truth.

I guess we live out our lives, until such a time as we see our mortality. Hopefully we see Sainthood is nowhere near us, and we seek out the ways to correct that long before we leave this place. The World will have you just keeping on doing your stuff. Kidding everyone as to your own greatness. 

I don't know, inside me I see the wilderness. I see me as no great thing at all. In that way I see you too. The difference is I know this about us. 

So I guess I'll take Hope.

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Kinda A Screwy Weekend.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. My sleep was sorta whack this weekend. I stayed up late Friday, just thinking of shit. Mostly about later this week or early next week my house will be paid off. That is pretty fucked up.

You want to rest up on the weekend, on Saturdays I work at 5:00 AM instead of 6:00 during the week. On Sunday I went in at 4:00 AM, cuz they wanted everything done early for a special promotion.

My sleep wasn't as good as normal. Mostly my fault. I did remodel our pantry. A guy before us built his own. It was dumb, so we gutted it, and put in wire rack shelving. It is much better. Instead of spending $400 or whatever for a new one we just gutted it, and built a better one.

So that was the weekend basically. Nothing much about it. I don't really think my weekends change too much, except by what I do while not working. Lisa finished the front yard, and today we will tackle the back. It shouldn't take too long.   I think it might hit 70° today.

There isn't much on my mind, and there isn't much going on in my life.  I don't really know what goes on in other people's lives. I guess we just put in our time.

My dad went in with chest pain, and I guess it was blood clots. I wonder if everyone ends up like him. You look back on your life, and seek out something important about it. Something significant. That is the strangest thing of all. It was just a stupid life like all ours are. No one is significant,  and no one is doing anything significant. He wanted me to bring this stupid exercise bike to his place while I was in Chicago a bit ago. He thought It was worth good money. It wasn't worth shit, but he thought it was worth $600, cuz that's what he paid for it probably back in 1980. I was kinda annoyed. I wanted him to let me throw it in the dumpster. At this stage I was sick of cleaning up hoarded shit, knowing I was going to throw that out sooner rather than later anyway.

His seeking of something significant in this place seemed the most ridiculous thing ever. We toil and we struggle living out our silly lives filled with silly things, and then we die.

It's just strange I tell you. Anyway, today I'll have a day. I think it should be okay. I'll eat a good meal at the end, and do some labor before that.

This is what I do. 

Later.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

The Trails Of Nederhuisen

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. I had a pretty active day yesterday just by living. Not doing anything out of the norm.   I am glad about that being part of my life.

There were some hickups to us getting our front picture window completed. The first scheduled day the guy was sick. Yesterday the guy got here, and realized it is a little bigger job than what he was led to believe. So he is coming back out today with everything he needs to finish the job. Including enough time. I cannot wait to be able to open those 3 awning windows when it gets warmer. Pretty exciting.

In just a couple weeks probably my house will be paid for.  That will be a lot of extra money coming my way each year. I don't really have anything to spend it on either. That is just how I am though. If I was given the choice to do whatever I wanted this is it. I am happy and content doing what I do.

I work,  I am active. I typically eat a pretty good meal each night, and I normally sleep pretty well. I find if I don't sleep too great one night I still feel fine the next day. I have everything I could want I guess,  and maybe that has to do with I just don't want a lot. Maybe that is the best part of being how I am now. I am content.

Just today a new day has started, and I am excited about it. It is a normal type day too where I am up 3 hours before I need to be at work. I feel I've done that a good amount of years where that is just my norm.

Some of you may have been around where I used to have to rush if I was going to get to work 15 minutes after the 2-1/2 hours early I'd like to be.   Haha.  :)

Remember that one time I woke up thinking I am up at my regular time. I do my blog thing and stuff, and realize geez "The Tonight Show" is probably on right now. Oops.

Anyway I am 51 now. You never know how many years you have left,  but I feel pretty good. I'll take Hope again. Yesterday I went over 30,000 steps. I typically have 10,000 steps in before 8:30 AM. That is my norm though.

Anyway, I pretty much got nothing. Today will be a day, and I am looking forward to it.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.    :)

The Northwoods Project.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. I had another day yesterday. I did notice something the last two days. When I sleep in,  I am not as tired after work. I think anyway.  It could just be the day too.   Today I woke up a little tired, but I still mostly would like to get up early. More often than not I'd like to take Hope for an early morning run.

I don't think I thought of anything particularly interesting yesterday. I came home and chilled out. I think it is our last snow day yesterday. Everything else approaches 50° as a high. I definitely am ready for Spring. I got outside shit to do. Winter weather kinda makes you want to stay inside.

So really this is a delete update,  cuz I pretty much got nothing.

What do I want out of today?  I want a run, and 20,000 steps/10+ miles. I am not sure what to do for dinner. Lisa is going out, so maybe I'll make myself a pizza. That's always fun, and good. On any given day I just want to feel good I guess. I guess I do that.

There was a time where I had a lot of energy. I could feel it. I didn't need much sleep,  and I was rarely tired. You don't know you have it til it is taken away. I had that too way back when. The night the energy returned I was VERY glad. I know that is a part of me that makes me as I am. I know it is nothing special about me, but rather something I was given.

I could have used it to do the best things in the World to do. That is the problem though. There is nothing in the World to do. In the end we won't make this place any better. All avenues are vanity so to speak. You still want to make a good mark somehow,  but that is not your story to make. No one is wise enough to be able to do that.  It's kinda what do you want?  Your story you make even though you are unknowingly shortsighted, or do  you want a better one. You can't have both.

I suspect I know people's answer, cuz everyone still does their own thing.  I am of no help in your personal journey at all. In these matters there is just you too. You need trust cuz all lives are tangled, and you need to know that is known. Your predicament is known. Everything can be seen, but you can't feel it, cuz all vision is blocked til you go though the eye of the needle. That you cannot do without a quid pro quo.

So as we all sit your story still hasn't even started,  and it might not. You choose the World,  cuz it's all you know,  and it's all you trust. I don't think this stuff is easy. I did this walk decades ago, and a lot of the parts, or all really I had no vision to. I had no idea what I was doing, but I wanted something out of life, and in the end there really isn't anything,  but I had to walk my trail. The one I didn't set, because that was my reason  for being here.

You see too?  I in the end was not very important. My coin was not significant, but my story helped make it worth more than whatever I would have done. It's a good story too,  because I am not anything great or important. It's good to know one's  place in the grand scheme of things.

I guess that's good. Today is a day. It will be better by starting it with a run.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.   :)

xxoo.   :)

Same Thing, Another Day.

Yesterday was pretty much just another day in the life. I slept as late as I could, cuz I stayed up a little late. I did the work thing. My watch told me I walked 10+miles just cuz that is how my life shapes up. I did a couple things around the house,  and made dinner.

It was nothing special at all, but I think it was pretty perfect. Couple that with a good night sleep,  and I am ready to do it again.

I put my name in to work every Sunday night, so it looks like that may happen pretty soon. That would give me every Monday off, and Lisa has most Mondays off.

I think about the future I guess, and I have nothing to worry about. I am lucky to be me.  I think growing up you want to have fun. You don't really want to be bothered with stress. You want to be at ease with life in general,  and with yourself. I think you want to feel consistent too. Excited to wake up every day, and start another.

That is why I am lucky. Yesterday after work I was taking Hope for a walk. I knew my watch was going to break the 20,000 step mark like it does most days, and I felt pretty lucky for my easy life. I had dinner already planned,  and the few things on my list I wanted to get done.

Everything was easy. Also you finish the day with a good meal, and an early bedtime. I get go do it again today too. Dinner is already prepped for the slow cooker.

I don't really have anything major planned today, except to live out another day in this simple life. My days come, and my days go, and each day gets filled up. There is work, there is eat, and there is sleep. There also are plans for various projects we'd like to tackle.

I know what makes all this possible. It is my heart. My heart is mostly happy,  and mostly content. I know the secret to that too. Unfortunately you cannot walk in my shoes,  unless you get a glimpse through what I do here. Not sure.

Anyway, I think I'll take Hope. A good short run is always a good way to start a day.

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.   :)