Hello, and good morning all. I know I know I haven't blogged in a while. I still read blogs, but really haven't commented much, I know people try and show themselves, and open up, and I see it. We all have our lives, and they go on. We are important to us, and we try to make the most out of our lives. No one really is any different. We all want to feel good about ourselves, and get some type of acceptance from the people we respect, and like.
We are not always confident though are we?? We don't always feel the best about ourselves do we?? What do people think of me?? What do I think of you??
My life goes in a certain direction, although I am free to do as I choose. Nothing really ties me down. I don't have to do this, and I don't have to do that. My deeds have gone noticed. My path has been accepted. I was led in the way I must go, and I have come out the other side where I was supposed to. Not all things remain easy, and life is never really a picnic.
I have said things on here, and they have been read but not acted upon. Your deeds have gone noticed, but they have not been accepted yet, because many if not all are still on the path of you.
You seek freedom. You seek contentment. Everywhere you turn you are trapped in your own little World. I must do this, and I must do that. People expect this from me, and I should really appear to be like this.
Where is it said we are to hide our insecurities inside?? Where does it say always show our "tough" side?? Life is a losing proposition. No one wins in the game of life, because none of it really matters. I think you know it deep down, but you wanna believe in something. You want to hold onto something that says this here is significant. What I do here matters.
What are we doing?? We are all little insects, and we are being flushed down the toilet. There is nothing to hang onto to save us, but we keep trying to grab for something. There is only one strong enough to stand up to the flushing toilet. The toilet has no power over it, and it is that we must hold onto. Let our life go down, because life still exists outside of our "comfort zone". You think if you let everything you ever believed in go then nothing good is on the other side, or you have failed in faith, and stuff, but you fail if you hold on.
Hold onto the strong. You have me here who has been through it all. I can stand up against the World, because I have help. I have been made a certain way now, because this is my story.
Life is a strange thing, and people make it all the stranger by thinking this and that is like the most important thing in the World. There is nothing important in this World, and nothing important about our lives.
If you can do one thing I would say don't say you have the answers. Don't tell me you can work your way to make you the best person ever, because I know better. I know the outcome of all the avenues you can think to take. I know the outcome of your life, and I know how you feel inside a lot of the times. You cannot fool me, because I know too much, and I know the truth of life.
Strength is about letting go, not holding on.
Oh well. About all I have for today. cya.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Saturday, January 25, 2014
What's In A Life??
Hello, and good morning. I have a big day planned with stuff to do. The bank I clean isn't open on Saturdays so I can clean Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. I will do it today, and doubt I'll ever do it on Friday. So I have to clean the bank. Get the oil changed in the car. Get a haircut, and buy something for dinner. That is basically it. Not much more than that.
Anyway as to my title, what is in a life?? I know most people hold onto some type of significance to the things we do. This matters right?? This life?? There has to be some type of significance to it. I mean why bother??
Well, as to our understanding it is the silliest game in the World. That is our understanding though. There is significance, but we cannot fathom. There are important things, but we don't really get it. All the things we do here in this place in the World mean nothing.
Would your life have been easier if you didn't have kids?? Doesn't it even say so?? Would it have been easier if you didn't get married?? In a way yeah. The 12 did none of those things. You see this World here is not a good place. There are no great things to do, and no great events to become involved in. It is a trap laid by the worst of the worst and we all fall in. There only ever was one way out, and even the people in all their infinite stupidity could not fathom what it meant. Eyes need to be opened to see the word for how it is. Unfortunately my eyes have been opened for a long time. Sometime in the Early 90's. I saw the sword for what it was. So I knew all these things, and still couldn't put it to use, because the sword is worthless without understanding. I have been able to use the sword, but only from the help I have had.
There is a journey going on here. A journey to the truth of life. People still hold on like they are going to do something significant. Like their life matters. We are one of the billions and billions who have walked the Earth. Here for a while, and our deeds go on unnoticed forever.
We are born wrong. Born thinking we are important. Born thinking we matter. Some of us even think we may make a difference. Nope. We are as insignificant as a piece of sand. Big in our own eyes, but really we aren't.
That is my life in a nutshell. Go on and on and on, until you learn through hard trials and tribulations the insignificance of me. Oh I have done things, and these things matter, but I didn't lead the way. I didn't light the steps I walked. I was just some poor soul who was taken aside to be rescued. Some things I did. I was given a pretty strong heart to follow the hints given. To walk in the way intended, even if it meant me look foolish. I was strong to overcome the judgements bestowed upon me. Looked the other way when wrongs were done to me.
Here I stand. Strong, and with trust in who I am, and the way I go. I stand alone in this World without needing anything.
I accepted the truth when I learned it.
I told people a lot, and I told them the way they should go, and here we stand. Me all alone on this journey that no one wants to go on.
Oh well. I have a big day planned. It should be a good one. Oh, and I work this week at my old grocery store, and next Sunday I start at the new store. The new store is in biking distance from my house, and running distance, and driving distance too. I was told I probably will get 5 days most weeks, and the Assistant Store Manager said he'd bump me up to full time ASAP.
I like the old store. I had it pretty good there. We definitely work hard for our money, and I like that. :)
Later folks. Where we are and where we are heading is really all up to you I guess. I am on the right path. I have taken the right steps, and I was led in the right ways. It all comes down to ... well I think you know.
Later all.
Anyway as to my title, what is in a life?? I know most people hold onto some type of significance to the things we do. This matters right?? This life?? There has to be some type of significance to it. I mean why bother??
Well, as to our understanding it is the silliest game in the World. That is our understanding though. There is significance, but we cannot fathom. There are important things, but we don't really get it. All the things we do here in this place in the World mean nothing.
Would your life have been easier if you didn't have kids?? Doesn't it even say so?? Would it have been easier if you didn't get married?? In a way yeah. The 12 did none of those things. You see this World here is not a good place. There are no great things to do, and no great events to become involved in. It is a trap laid by the worst of the worst and we all fall in. There only ever was one way out, and even the people in all their infinite stupidity could not fathom what it meant. Eyes need to be opened to see the word for how it is. Unfortunately my eyes have been opened for a long time. Sometime in the Early 90's. I saw the sword for what it was. So I knew all these things, and still couldn't put it to use, because the sword is worthless without understanding. I have been able to use the sword, but only from the help I have had.
There is a journey going on here. A journey to the truth of life. People still hold on like they are going to do something significant. Like their life matters. We are one of the billions and billions who have walked the Earth. Here for a while, and our deeds go on unnoticed forever.
We are born wrong. Born thinking we are important. Born thinking we matter. Some of us even think we may make a difference. Nope. We are as insignificant as a piece of sand. Big in our own eyes, but really we aren't.
That is my life in a nutshell. Go on and on and on, until you learn through hard trials and tribulations the insignificance of me. Oh I have done things, and these things matter, but I didn't lead the way. I didn't light the steps I walked. I was just some poor soul who was taken aside to be rescued. Some things I did. I was given a pretty strong heart to follow the hints given. To walk in the way intended, even if it meant me look foolish. I was strong to overcome the judgements bestowed upon me. Looked the other way when wrongs were done to me.
Here I stand. Strong, and with trust in who I am, and the way I go. I stand alone in this World without needing anything.
I accepted the truth when I learned it.
I told people a lot, and I told them the way they should go, and here we stand. Me all alone on this journey that no one wants to go on.
Oh well. I have a big day planned. It should be a good one. Oh, and I work this week at my old grocery store, and next Sunday I start at the new store. The new store is in biking distance from my house, and running distance, and driving distance too. I was told I probably will get 5 days most weeks, and the Assistant Store Manager said he'd bump me up to full time ASAP.
I like the old store. I had it pretty good there. We definitely work hard for our money, and I like that. :)
Later folks. Where we are and where we are heading is really all up to you I guess. I am on the right path. I have taken the right steps, and I was led in the right ways. It all comes down to ... well I think you know.
Later all.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Been Away From The Internets A Bit...
Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing okay. First time I have been on a computer in a while. I have my phone, but don't blog on it. I can check stuff out if I want, but haven't been in the mood really. I don't care what you people are doing that much.
I don't care about your plans. I don't care how great everything is. I don't care how you "nailed" life, etc... My blog will reflect that too.
As my life settles down into middle age, I get glimpses of my life. Not your life, my life. I see Lisa and I are aging. We do our work thing, and stuff at home. We are not looking to change the World, or do these great things, because there are no great things to be done. History has sugar coated the lives of people, but if you could get a glimpse of the hidden stuff you realize they were just humans too. Selfish, angry, spiteful, jealous, creepy people thinking creepy things, and still enslaved to the environment of the day.
I see life for what it is, and for what there is to do, and others don't. All these great plans that, I don't know I guess people seek honor, and acceptance for what they have done. Decisions they have made. Things they are going to do. Your head can't grasp it yet, but life is very silly. There is no great meaning to this thing, and there is death, and disease, and all kindsa shit to deal with, and this is the very last thing people want to deal with.
I am different today, then just last year. This is a new year, and a new me in a way.
I don't care too much, and maybe that is a secret of life. We get into these relationships, and they are new and exciting, but we never get to the truth of these people until later. You get to know a person, and see how they are, and you know??? None of us are all that exciting are we?? None of us really offer any great insights to anything, and as people get to know us they get to see how boring we are. I am as boring as they come. My life is a comfortable boring, but I am never really that bored, because I'll do something.
People seek for acceptance, and respect in some of the strangest places. It isn't how great you are, but showing how ungreat you are that is the good stuff. But yeah, people may judge you, but who cares about people?? The judgers are the fabulous ones, and we all know their story. Their story is hidden, and it will never see the light of day if they have anything to do about it, because they are not strong enough.
Anyhoooo, just thought I'd get something down. I haven't run in a while, and there is like a foot of snow we got on the ground, so ain't running today. I shoveled the drive before Lisa left for work though.
I had a funny strange dream last night. I was going to tell it, but this blog totally went in a different direction than I thought it would, so now I am not going to tell it.
Oh well.
later...
I don't care about your plans. I don't care how great everything is. I don't care how you "nailed" life, etc... My blog will reflect that too.
As my life settles down into middle age, I get glimpses of my life. Not your life, my life. I see Lisa and I are aging. We do our work thing, and stuff at home. We are not looking to change the World, or do these great things, because there are no great things to be done. History has sugar coated the lives of people, but if you could get a glimpse of the hidden stuff you realize they were just humans too. Selfish, angry, spiteful, jealous, creepy people thinking creepy things, and still enslaved to the environment of the day.
I see life for what it is, and for what there is to do, and others don't. All these great plans that, I don't know I guess people seek honor, and acceptance for what they have done. Decisions they have made. Things they are going to do. Your head can't grasp it yet, but life is very silly. There is no great meaning to this thing, and there is death, and disease, and all kindsa shit to deal with, and this is the very last thing people want to deal with.
I am different today, then just last year. This is a new year, and a new me in a way.
I don't care too much, and maybe that is a secret of life. We get into these relationships, and they are new and exciting, but we never get to the truth of these people until later. You get to know a person, and see how they are, and you know??? None of us are all that exciting are we?? None of us really offer any great insights to anything, and as people get to know us they get to see how boring we are. I am as boring as they come. My life is a comfortable boring, but I am never really that bored, because I'll do something.
People seek for acceptance, and respect in some of the strangest places. It isn't how great you are, but showing how ungreat you are that is the good stuff. But yeah, people may judge you, but who cares about people?? The judgers are the fabulous ones, and we all know their story. Their story is hidden, and it will never see the light of day if they have anything to do about it, because they are not strong enough.
Anyhoooo, just thought I'd get something down. I haven't run in a while, and there is like a foot of snow we got on the ground, so ain't running today. I shoveled the drive before Lisa left for work though.
I had a funny strange dream last night. I was going to tell it, but this blog totally went in a different direction than I thought it would, so now I am not going to tell it.
Oh well.
later...
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Taking My Sweet Time To Get Around To This...
Hello, and good afternoon all. How's it going?? Me, I guess I am doing okay. I didn't work last night, and woke up too early this morning. I was just putzing around, but I guess I'll get something down here.
I did get a little run in this morning. 2nd one this week. This one was kinda hard too. Harder than the first one. Maybe cuz the snow on the ground. It is my 2nd run in a month so it isn't like I am in any great shape as it is.
Anyhooo anything else going on with me?? Nope not really. I work both jobs tonight. I should get some stuff done around the house, but don't feel like it. I did a bit yesterday. Lisa has a bit of a cold, and stayed home from work. She slept a lot though, so I am sure she will be fine.
Other than that, I guess I don't have too too much on my mind. No insights to anything. No great revelations. Nothing too exciting going on. Today I will just putz, work my 2 jobs, and eat. :)
I didn't sleep late enough for having to work tonight, but sometimes it is kinda cool to work yourself to exhaustion. You come home, and you feel pretty good. You gave it your all type of thing.
So there. My stupid little update.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I saw a lady last night, and she looked stressed. Life was getting the best of her. I thought about that. I like to know people's rough spots kinda I think. It helps me get to know 'em.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
LOL, this blog must be a trip. :))
I did get a little run in this morning. 2nd one this week. This one was kinda hard too. Harder than the first one. Maybe cuz the snow on the ground. It is my 2nd run in a month so it isn't like I am in any great shape as it is.
Anyhooo anything else going on with me?? Nope not really. I work both jobs tonight. I should get some stuff done around the house, but don't feel like it. I did a bit yesterday. Lisa has a bit of a cold, and stayed home from work. She slept a lot though, so I am sure she will be fine.
Other than that, I guess I don't have too too much on my mind. No insights to anything. No great revelations. Nothing too exciting going on. Today I will just putz, work my 2 jobs, and eat. :)
I didn't sleep late enough for having to work tonight, but sometimes it is kinda cool to work yourself to exhaustion. You come home, and you feel pretty good. You gave it your all type of thing.
So there. My stupid little update.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I saw a lady last night, and she looked stressed. Life was getting the best of her. I thought about that. I like to know people's rough spots kinda I think. It helps me get to know 'em.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
LOL, this blog must be a trip. :))
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Two Views I Have...
Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?? I think that is a bad title now that I think of it, but there are different views of different people I get. One is the all growed up version. Confident seeming, answer knowing, The shell of a person really. The other is the little kid. The one without the answers. The one who is on this Earth. Doing society type things, but wondering. Why?? Why this life. Why do I feel the way I do. How do I want to always feel, but what is the reality of what I feel.
When I see the little kid in you, that is the person I really like. Many times we only show the always good mood person, or the I don't know, I don't always feel people show their true self. I have stressed in the past the things you think about in the wee hours. So many pressures. We have to be a certain way kinda to be accepted by society, and we can only show so much, because Big Brother is watching, and Big Brother doesn't want you to go too crazy, or be too real for that matter I guess.
So many things in life to deal with. Have you ever thought of all the things you are "supposed" to do today. Whether it is family stuff, society stuff, internal activities you have deemed important. Our hearts are always striving, and if they aren't then we just give up, and hide in our comfort whatever. Food, drink, drugs, reading, movies.
This life is hard. I come along and make it harder by saying the things I do. This blog will probably break you down if you let it. If you trust this and what I have been saying you will be broken down. We were made to be broken. It is like that one saying. Whoever falls on this rock will be broken to pieces, and whoever it falls on will be smashed to pieces or something like that.
This path hits low spots before the high spots. You have to let go, and trust, and all those things, and accept the hard times ahead.
The World is not fair. You are not going to make it fair. This life is not fair, and you are not going to make it that way. You know the end of my journey, which coincides with the end of my blog "Steve's Journey" Acceptance. I accept the hard path I had. I accept all the things I have done, and the summer of discontent, and my whole life.
That truly is what we really want. Oh, I know I will get a whole slew of other gifts after my final thing I must do, but I am living the life I am now, not because of those, but from the strength of one. My heart is in good hands, and as always the strength of people keep things pretty easy.
For me and the way I am now Heads I win and tails you lose. I can do no wrong, because it isn't my rightness that is deemed right. It is my faith, and trust, and strength, and my journey was always about making those things stronger. Put in positions of suffering to strengthen these things.
My plan?? My story I created??
Nope. A small little turn during a hard time in my life. I was all alone with just me, and I saw how I was. Man I wanted me to be the best person ever, but as this story suggests, I didn't really know how to get there.
Now my questions have been answered. I am not yet who I will be, but that comes later. First you have to do the things you have to do. I wish I could help you, but it is you vs. you. I hope the little kid wins, because that is who is supposed to. You have your own David and Goliath story going on within you.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I miss Olga. Barely a peep from her anymore. booooooooo. :(
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
When I see the little kid in you, that is the person I really like. Many times we only show the always good mood person, or the I don't know, I don't always feel people show their true self. I have stressed in the past the things you think about in the wee hours. So many pressures. We have to be a certain way kinda to be accepted by society, and we can only show so much, because Big Brother is watching, and Big Brother doesn't want you to go too crazy, or be too real for that matter I guess.
So many things in life to deal with. Have you ever thought of all the things you are "supposed" to do today. Whether it is family stuff, society stuff, internal activities you have deemed important. Our hearts are always striving, and if they aren't then we just give up, and hide in our comfort whatever. Food, drink, drugs, reading, movies.
This life is hard. I come along and make it harder by saying the things I do. This blog will probably break you down if you let it. If you trust this and what I have been saying you will be broken down. We were made to be broken. It is like that one saying. Whoever falls on this rock will be broken to pieces, and whoever it falls on will be smashed to pieces or something like that.
This path hits low spots before the high spots. You have to let go, and trust, and all those things, and accept the hard times ahead.
The World is not fair. You are not going to make it fair. This life is not fair, and you are not going to make it that way. You know the end of my journey, which coincides with the end of my blog "Steve's Journey" Acceptance. I accept the hard path I had. I accept all the things I have done, and the summer of discontent, and my whole life.
That truly is what we really want. Oh, I know I will get a whole slew of other gifts after my final thing I must do, but I am living the life I am now, not because of those, but from the strength of one. My heart is in good hands, and as always the strength of people keep things pretty easy.
For me and the way I am now Heads I win and tails you lose. I can do no wrong, because it isn't my rightness that is deemed right. It is my faith, and trust, and strength, and my journey was always about making those things stronger. Put in positions of suffering to strengthen these things.
My plan?? My story I created??
Nope. A small little turn during a hard time in my life. I was all alone with just me, and I saw how I was. Man I wanted me to be the best person ever, but as this story suggests, I didn't really know how to get there.
Now my questions have been answered. I am not yet who I will be, but that comes later. First you have to do the things you have to do. I wish I could help you, but it is you vs. you. I hope the little kid wins, because that is who is supposed to. You have your own David and Goliath story going on within you.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I miss Olga. Barely a peep from her anymore. booooooooo. :(
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Nothing In My Noggin Today...
Hello, and good afternoon all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing okay. I don't have much on my mind at all, so this should be awesome.
Anyway, let's see what is going on with me. Not much. I have today and tomorrow off, except for the bank. I will go and do the bank in a couple of hours. My transfer got approved so I guess I will start working at the store nearer to me soon. It is good cuz it is close, but I hate to leave the other place too. Unfinished challenges I guess you can say. We have an opportunity to make some improvements there, and I will run out of time to be able to help too too much.
For me work is full of challenges. I do have a fire inside me that makes me want to do good at my jobs. I always want to put forth good effort, and try my best. Always kinda want to try and exceed expectations I guess. It is your job, and your name you put on it right??
You know as far as running goes I don't really have that same fire. Maybe having dealt with injury after injury, you just hope to put together a few months of good running, and then see where you stand. Let's face it too building a healthy base is not doing speed work.
Other than that not too too much going on in my life. I am definitely on a different wave length with most people. I know the direction of my life. I know where I am headed. I know the answers to my questions. I know the end of my path, and what will happen. Known it a while. With this thing I try and help people along, but I don't do it very successfully, and it isn't really my fault.
People's hearts are not right, and they try and hold onto some virtue they feel they have. I am good if I do this type of stuff. With our actions we try and paint a picture of us, but the only picture that matters is the picture you can paint with your heart. Maybe that is the picture we don't want people to see.
Our true nature. Selfish, and angry, and jealous, and arrogant, and all kindsa things are in our heart. All this about us is known, and we try and hide it. Maybe this is what we try to escape from too.
The higher and nobler deeds that need to be done are not in our power. To be the best us that is possible is not in our power. To get to the right point does not take the greatest sacrifice. It takes the greatest trust. It isn't our energy that creates a good path, and it isn't our sacrifice that creates a good path, it is our trust. Our willingness to give up us... our coin if you will... and exchange it for a better path.
Your mind will no matter what will not be able to come up with the best path for you. You think the path of you will lead to happiness, but it doesn't. A little test. The thing you cannot see, and the thing you cannot feel right now, you have to trust will be given. Exchange your one coin for a better coin if you will.
That is your walk, and the thing you have to work out. Doesn't seem to be going too well the way I see it, but I keep plugging along. Waiting and watching, and hoping for breakthroughs from people.
A person who truly trusts themselves as their own master is not the best a person can be.
You have a lot to learn, but you actually have to be meek enough to accept your shortcomings and want to learn.
I wonder about people sometimes.
Oh well...
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Now to rest up a bit before I go to work at the bank.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Anyway, let's see what is going on with me. Not much. I have today and tomorrow off, except for the bank. I will go and do the bank in a couple of hours. My transfer got approved so I guess I will start working at the store nearer to me soon. It is good cuz it is close, but I hate to leave the other place too. Unfinished challenges I guess you can say. We have an opportunity to make some improvements there, and I will run out of time to be able to help too too much.
For me work is full of challenges. I do have a fire inside me that makes me want to do good at my jobs. I always want to put forth good effort, and try my best. Always kinda want to try and exceed expectations I guess. It is your job, and your name you put on it right??
You know as far as running goes I don't really have that same fire. Maybe having dealt with injury after injury, you just hope to put together a few months of good running, and then see where you stand. Let's face it too building a healthy base is not doing speed work.
Other than that not too too much going on in my life. I am definitely on a different wave length with most people. I know the direction of my life. I know where I am headed. I know the answers to my questions. I know the end of my path, and what will happen. Known it a while. With this thing I try and help people along, but I don't do it very successfully, and it isn't really my fault.
People's hearts are not right, and they try and hold onto some virtue they feel they have. I am good if I do this type of stuff. With our actions we try and paint a picture of us, but the only picture that matters is the picture you can paint with your heart. Maybe that is the picture we don't want people to see.
Our true nature. Selfish, and angry, and jealous, and arrogant, and all kindsa things are in our heart. All this about us is known, and we try and hide it. Maybe this is what we try to escape from too.
The higher and nobler deeds that need to be done are not in our power. To be the best us that is possible is not in our power. To get to the right point does not take the greatest sacrifice. It takes the greatest trust. It isn't our energy that creates a good path, and it isn't our sacrifice that creates a good path, it is our trust. Our willingness to give up us... our coin if you will... and exchange it for a better path.
Your mind will no matter what will not be able to come up with the best path for you. You think the path of you will lead to happiness, but it doesn't. A little test. The thing you cannot see, and the thing you cannot feel right now, you have to trust will be given. Exchange your one coin for a better coin if you will.
That is your walk, and the thing you have to work out. Doesn't seem to be going too well the way I see it, but I keep plugging along. Waiting and watching, and hoping for breakthroughs from people.
A person who truly trusts themselves as their own master is not the best a person can be.
You have a lot to learn, but you actually have to be meek enough to accept your shortcomings and want to learn.
I wonder about people sometimes.
Oh well...
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Now to rest up a bit before I go to work at the bank.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Monday, January 13, 2014
Well, Not A Damn Thing On My Mind Right Now...
So this is how the rest of you live. ;) j/k.
Anyway, I have absolutely nothing on my mind right now, but I'll try to get something down. Actually here is something about me I was thinking of yesterday. (while running even) Nah, that is boring. Nothing really new about me.
If you have read this or any of my previous blogs you know me pretty well. There is nothing really new to me. I have a story. A story of a shy kid, who was kinda insecure. Definitely afraid of rejection, so much so it was a major part of me, and my personality. I have gone on and lived a life. I learned about me, and my weaknesses, and was led on a route to one where I was made strong.
I have used the word strong a lot huh?? It means a lot to me, and it is what I like about people. Strong is truth, and honesty. Strong is on one side of one spectrum, and fabulous is on the other. When I read about people who are going to overcome all obstacles, because they believe in themselves, and yadda yadda yadda, well you have not even done one thing really.
There are powers and obstacles out there which will totally overpower you. Heck you overpower you. Just look at your personality, and how you would like to be, and stuff like that. How much do we feel we are lacking in certain attributes??? The old who you want to be, and who you are equation.
Now I know people have goals and stuff like that, and many things they do they can show improvement, and get better, etc... This blog is about other stuff though huh?? This blog is about life, and the truth of life, and our place in the World, and why we are here, and what are we supposed to be doing.
All the answers are here too, but... That I am not really sure. I am a certain way, and I think about things a certain way, and seems many times me and people do not really connect.
Maybe people are still seeking out the better virtues in mankind, and I am telling you they are not there. There are no heroes here. No one we should really look up to.
Maybe that was my story for the day too. While running yesterday I was thinking about a time me and some friends visited Eastern Illinois for a weekend of partying. I have no idea who we were visiting. Friends Mike Polizzi and Mike Scully for sure were there. Quarters, bars?? maybe, a lot of drinking and partying. Anyway there was a pretty hot girl, and somehow someway she took a liking to me. I was coming down from my high, because I had to stop drinking. I was going to get sick, but we totally could have hooked up, but I was not so daring. I remember she was an aerobics instructor, and I thought Holy Shit. Way over my head. I am not in her league. I know we slept in the same bed, but little else.
Now that is the story of me huh?? Back then I was just still the shy guy, insecure, and stuff like that. A hot girl took a liking to me, but I didn't have the courage, because she was better than me.
Now after college I went through my things, and did what I had to do. Went on my personal journey of Life really. Now no one is out of my league. No one is better than me, because I am built with a strength that one does not build themselves.
Maybe that is the disconnect too. People are trying to show their worth, and my worth is tied up in other hands. That one time I could not overcome, I still was lifted up. I was lacking faith, and strength, and everything, but one remains faithful. "I will lift you out of everything you get yourself into." How why?? Every avenue is us walking blindly. Obstacles get put in our way all the time, but I was given the promise, because I made the turn. My eyes don't see very well, but I have put my trust in the one with the best vision, and many if not all still trust your own vision.
Soooo, very little inspires me. Very little impresses me. Strength is a great thing, because it helps you step out of everything, and just be yourself. Let the World see me, and let it judge. I have the strength of the one who overcame. Something none of us in our wildest dreams could ever do.
So much to do, and so far to go.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I bought 5 boxes of Cinnamon Life this morning at the local grocery store. It was a special sale if you buy 5. I don't eat a ton of cereal, but I do like Cinnamon Life. Also a 10% discount just popped up for me as I have worked 6 months. I get 10% off on all non-sale items. I had no idea. How cool is that??
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Anyway, I have absolutely nothing on my mind right now, but I'll try to get something down. Actually here is something about me I was thinking of yesterday. (while running even) Nah, that is boring. Nothing really new about me.
If you have read this or any of my previous blogs you know me pretty well. There is nothing really new to me. I have a story. A story of a shy kid, who was kinda insecure. Definitely afraid of rejection, so much so it was a major part of me, and my personality. I have gone on and lived a life. I learned about me, and my weaknesses, and was led on a route to one where I was made strong.
I have used the word strong a lot huh?? It means a lot to me, and it is what I like about people. Strong is truth, and honesty. Strong is on one side of one spectrum, and fabulous is on the other. When I read about people who are going to overcome all obstacles, because they believe in themselves, and yadda yadda yadda, well you have not even done one thing really.
There are powers and obstacles out there which will totally overpower you. Heck you overpower you. Just look at your personality, and how you would like to be, and stuff like that. How much do we feel we are lacking in certain attributes??? The old who you want to be, and who you are equation.
Now I know people have goals and stuff like that, and many things they do they can show improvement, and get better, etc... This blog is about other stuff though huh?? This blog is about life, and the truth of life, and our place in the World, and why we are here, and what are we supposed to be doing.
All the answers are here too, but... That I am not really sure. I am a certain way, and I think about things a certain way, and seems many times me and people do not really connect.
Maybe people are still seeking out the better virtues in mankind, and I am telling you they are not there. There are no heroes here. No one we should really look up to.
Maybe that was my story for the day too. While running yesterday I was thinking about a time me and some friends visited Eastern Illinois for a weekend of partying. I have no idea who we were visiting. Friends Mike Polizzi and Mike Scully for sure were there. Quarters, bars?? maybe, a lot of drinking and partying. Anyway there was a pretty hot girl, and somehow someway she took a liking to me. I was coming down from my high, because I had to stop drinking. I was going to get sick, but we totally could have hooked up, but I was not so daring. I remember she was an aerobics instructor, and I thought Holy Shit. Way over my head. I am not in her league. I know we slept in the same bed, but little else.
Now that is the story of me huh?? Back then I was just still the shy guy, insecure, and stuff like that. A hot girl took a liking to me, but I didn't have the courage, because she was better than me.
Now after college I went through my things, and did what I had to do. Went on my personal journey of Life really. Now no one is out of my league. No one is better than me, because I am built with a strength that one does not build themselves.
Maybe that is the disconnect too. People are trying to show their worth, and my worth is tied up in other hands. That one time I could not overcome, I still was lifted up. I was lacking faith, and strength, and everything, but one remains faithful. "I will lift you out of everything you get yourself into." How why?? Every avenue is us walking blindly. Obstacles get put in our way all the time, but I was given the promise, because I made the turn. My eyes don't see very well, but I have put my trust in the one with the best vision, and many if not all still trust your own vision.
Soooo, very little inspires me. Very little impresses me. Strength is a great thing, because it helps you step out of everything, and just be yourself. Let the World see me, and let it judge. I have the strength of the one who overcame. Something none of us in our wildest dreams could ever do.
So much to do, and so far to go.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I bought 5 boxes of Cinnamon Life this morning at the local grocery store. It was a special sale if you buy 5. I don't eat a ton of cereal, but I do like Cinnamon Life. Also a 10% discount just popped up for me as I have worked 6 months. I get 10% off on all non-sale items. I had no idea. How cool is that??
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
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