Well, yesterday I hinted at something that surprised me. I woke up yesterday on top of the world, which happens. My thoughts at work at the end of Thursday were going to a place, I haven't been in a while. Out of nowhere thinking of someone and me having a heavy heart about it. Been there done that before, but it sure has been a while. Why?? Why does this happen?? Because life gets busy. Yesterday was kind of a big one, and I didn't really expect it. Why now??? I need explanations kinda huh?? I think for things to happen in a clean way there has to be trust. I have been doing this so long, that maybe some are finally starting to trust me. Maybe you can realize I just want to help. I guess I have been a dick enough and selfish enough you realize if you don't want help, fine. I can change on a dime, and not give a fuck I guess
I guess I do this freely. I know when I could have used support in the past I pretty much got a lot of anti-support. My Journey was solo. I was judged after heimleblog, and I was judged after the Journey. I have to be judged one more time, and this happened a long time ago. Why I didn't know, but when I was going through my empty empty physical depression. I was told not to watch tv for a while. I didn't know why until later. I ended up reading a lot, but you know it was really hard to work. The empty physical depression was a life drainer. It wasn't until later I realized why I was told to do that. Someday after that I don't know how long, I prayed, If I am destined for Hell, please let me accept it as that which I deserve.
That was a necessary step, because of the only one unforgivable sin. I had a preview of my final thing remember?? It happened at work a long time ago. The worst of the worst left me, and he is unwilling to go where I am willing. There is only one who was strong enough, and good enough to handle the final judgement. So with that you can bet I'll need help, because I am not strong enough for that. No one is, but this is where my journey leads. I knew it all along. Like I asked when I listened to the life giving reproof... why??? Anyone remember the answer???
A plan is being done. How many of you people did I not even know back in the early 90's???
So anyway a little about me. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. I know I know you don't want to talk baseball. ;)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras for trusting me enough to let me help yesterday. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Friday, June 29, 2012
Well...
You wanna know how my days go, at least as far as blogging goes?? I wake up, and in a split second a decision is made. Get up, and blog?? Go to sleep. Most times I get up, and the last two days I was tired, and went back to bed. I don't put much thought into it. Some days I think I just wake up pissed off, and just don't blog at all.
I don't have a lot on my mind, but I guess I will get some coffee, and see what happens. I will brb. :)
Well there isn't a lot on my mind I'd have to say. Some things have been on my mind the last couple days, but not gonna tell you what. Just been thinking a lot about someone, and to be honest I am surprised. Story for another day perhaps.
Let's switch gears. I have decided to do my own speed work, because waiting around til 6:30 is hard for me, when I am off of work at 1 or 2:00. I do like hanging with my wife, and if I can get speed work in on my own beforehand, then that gives us time to cook out, and hang, and what not. So anyway, I was running the trails at Sanctuary Woods on Wednesday. It is a challenging course. It takes me 7 minutes typically to do one loop. I consider it a half mile loop, because it is challenging, but it is probably a bit longer. I don't run 14 minute miles. I had the intention of doing 6, and hope I wasn't a big pussy, and stop at 3 or 4. I felt great the whole time. I did 8 loops. A break through of sorts. Man I felt like a million bucks. We ran the Church trails last night in the heat, and I don't feel the heat really bogged me down. I felt we had a good pace the whole time, and we still added the extra hilly stuff at the end too. I feel like my running is starting to pay dividends. It isn't even July yet, and I don't plan on tough tough training til August anyway. I think the trails keep my legs happy too, and help prevent injury. :)
Things are going pretty good right now. I wake up in a good mood. I am never really concerned with too much. Shit gets weird, I just see where it goes. I am not concerned about me. No worries you know?? People have issues, and I think they hold onto baggage, because to deal with baggage you have to be open about it. The shit that bogs you down personally you cannot hold onto. As fabulous as we think we all are, we are really not that strong. We all need help in areas, and we all need support. Our lives are all fucked up in some ways. We have to deal with good and bad parts of upbringing. We have to deal with all the bullshit fairy tales society has taught us. We have to deal with grass is greener type bullshit. We also have to deal with the day to day bull shit of living life. We have to deal with getting older. A lot to life, and maybe our journey to the truth is learning really just what is important in life.
Can you just picture it?? We are living this life. Perhaps we collect stuff, and we work, and we learn, and we play, and we drink. Whatever we do in life, and whatever we have done, we will not give one rat's ass when we are 6' under. All this is temporary. All our accomplishments no one will remember, and no one will care about.
Life is like a real drag kinda, except man I wake up in a pretty good mood every day. A smiling heart so to speak. It is definitely good to be me. :)
Have a good one all. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. LOL sorry bout your stinking Yankees booger butts!!!! :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D xoxo :)
I don't have a lot on my mind, but I guess I will get some coffee, and see what happens. I will brb. :)
Well there isn't a lot on my mind I'd have to say. Some things have been on my mind the last couple days, but not gonna tell you what. Just been thinking a lot about someone, and to be honest I am surprised. Story for another day perhaps.
Let's switch gears. I have decided to do my own speed work, because waiting around til 6:30 is hard for me, when I am off of work at 1 or 2:00. I do like hanging with my wife, and if I can get speed work in on my own beforehand, then that gives us time to cook out, and hang, and what not. So anyway, I was running the trails at Sanctuary Woods on Wednesday. It is a challenging course. It takes me 7 minutes typically to do one loop. I consider it a half mile loop, because it is challenging, but it is probably a bit longer. I don't run 14 minute miles. I had the intention of doing 6, and hope I wasn't a big pussy, and stop at 3 or 4. I felt great the whole time. I did 8 loops. A break through of sorts. Man I felt like a million bucks. We ran the Church trails last night in the heat, and I don't feel the heat really bogged me down. I felt we had a good pace the whole time, and we still added the extra hilly stuff at the end too. I feel like my running is starting to pay dividends. It isn't even July yet, and I don't plan on tough tough training til August anyway. I think the trails keep my legs happy too, and help prevent injury. :)
Things are going pretty good right now. I wake up in a good mood. I am never really concerned with too much. Shit gets weird, I just see where it goes. I am not concerned about me. No worries you know?? People have issues, and I think they hold onto baggage, because to deal with baggage you have to be open about it. The shit that bogs you down personally you cannot hold onto. As fabulous as we think we all are, we are really not that strong. We all need help in areas, and we all need support. Our lives are all fucked up in some ways. We have to deal with good and bad parts of upbringing. We have to deal with all the bullshit fairy tales society has taught us. We have to deal with grass is greener type bullshit. We also have to deal with the day to day bull shit of living life. We have to deal with getting older. A lot to life, and maybe our journey to the truth is learning really just what is important in life.
Can you just picture it?? We are living this life. Perhaps we collect stuff, and we work, and we learn, and we play, and we drink. Whatever we do in life, and whatever we have done, we will not give one rat's ass when we are 6' under. All this is temporary. All our accomplishments no one will remember, and no one will care about.
Life is like a real drag kinda, except man I wake up in a pretty good mood every day. A smiling heart so to speak. It is definitely good to be me. :)
Have a good one all. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. LOL sorry bout your stinking Yankees booger butts!!!! :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D xoxo :)
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Coffee Update...
yeah this is a total coffee update, meaning I have no idea what I am going to write about, so I am going to get some coffee, and I will brb...
As this blog goes on perhaps you get an idea it is more about life. It isn't about races, or training so much, but really everything else. I was thinking earlier about life there are no mulligans. You can not wipe away a mistake and say let me start over. Everything we have done we have done. I have let you in on a lot of my mistakes. A lot of my less than perfections. Our life is us. It is stuff we have done, and stuff we do.
I laid down a path to take, and it is necessary. I think back to my time when I was finally alone. I was going to read the Bible every day when I got home from work, because there was a certain type of person I wanted to be. I was a College graduate working in a hospital cleaning floors. Khien Pham was my Supervisor, and I was more than happy trying to be the best in the World at my humble little job. I remember going to a wedding one weekend. I was going back to Chicago, and I told a friend my plan. You know in my mind and on my own it sounded neat. When I went back to Chicago the land of $$$ = Success, I guess I felt embarrassed. Here I am telling a respected H.S. friend Chris Waltman I think his name was I wanted to be the best in the world at what I was doing. Stripping and waxing floors. I have no idea what he did, I think he was working in the C.B.O.T. at the time. He said something Diplomatic, but who knows what he meant. Maybe he thought later too, maybe there is more to life than the jobs we do. Who knows?? I felt pretty embarrassed like I said, but when I got back to my home, and my life, I felt more than comfortable.
For the record too, I never ever wanted to go back to Chicago to live. I was always a bit surprised the percentage of people who went back there. When I started at the local lumberyard, I walked to work, because I didn't have a car, but I could do that. I can do that today too. I like that about my life. I also like I have a crappy old truck that I have had for 10 years or so. It is 17 years old, and just went over 100,000 miles.
Anyway what I noticed on my time alone, where I was going to make me the best person ever. As a floor cleaner too remember I already made the turn. I was waiting though... figured something would pop up. I was not getting better as a person I don't think. As a matter of fact I was seeing myself with better and better vision, and not liking what I saw. I guess I stopped looking at my filtered self, and was looking at the real me. Remember being friends with honest Lora and all that stuff. A lot of stuff went on during this time, and I find it funny I remember. All this led up remember to some hard times and hard days. Can you imagine??? I knew something would happen in the future after my suffering. I never knew when. I knew pretty much when it started up, that day of reading blogs in the winter. As with the Summer of my Discontent I was searching for my final thing I must do. Now remember I thought the last two Thanksgivings were the time. Now I have no idea. There is so much that needs to be done, and I don't know the time, although I am guessing I will know pretty close to when it happens. All I know is what I have to do, and what I have been willing to do since the early 90's. This ain't my story, this is just a story being made.
What you do, and what you have to do is your story, and how your life goes. Our path is not one of success. Our path is one of failure. It is Jim Pejchl's story, and it is Steve Rose's story. When you stand naked and alone in all your failures is there someone who would still accept you??
The answer is yes. Your path is not one of arrogance, and not one of I am better than Sandusky. The path is of you. The unfiltered you. The part of you perhaps you want no one to know, but deep down you really do want people to know. The picture of you is not done with a camera, because the picture of you is what is inside. Your thoughts and who you are.
A lot to life. Be open to it. Life gets pretty busy.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. I can really get a little nutty on this thing. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :D :D
Yes, it is all about trust, and honesty, and strength. This shit ain't easy. I have been pretty faithful though with this blog. Been pretty honest too I think. :) xoxoxoxo
Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzz. :)
As this blog goes on perhaps you get an idea it is more about life. It isn't about races, or training so much, but really everything else. I was thinking earlier about life there are no mulligans. You can not wipe away a mistake and say let me start over. Everything we have done we have done. I have let you in on a lot of my mistakes. A lot of my less than perfections. Our life is us. It is stuff we have done, and stuff we do.
I laid down a path to take, and it is necessary. I think back to my time when I was finally alone. I was going to read the Bible every day when I got home from work, because there was a certain type of person I wanted to be. I was a College graduate working in a hospital cleaning floors. Khien Pham was my Supervisor, and I was more than happy trying to be the best in the World at my humble little job. I remember going to a wedding one weekend. I was going back to Chicago, and I told a friend my plan. You know in my mind and on my own it sounded neat. When I went back to Chicago the land of $$$ = Success, I guess I felt embarrassed. Here I am telling a respected H.S. friend Chris Waltman I think his name was I wanted to be the best in the world at what I was doing. Stripping and waxing floors. I have no idea what he did, I think he was working in the C.B.O.T. at the time. He said something Diplomatic, but who knows what he meant. Maybe he thought later too, maybe there is more to life than the jobs we do. Who knows?? I felt pretty embarrassed like I said, but when I got back to my home, and my life, I felt more than comfortable.
For the record too, I never ever wanted to go back to Chicago to live. I was always a bit surprised the percentage of people who went back there. When I started at the local lumberyard, I walked to work, because I didn't have a car, but I could do that. I can do that today too. I like that about my life. I also like I have a crappy old truck that I have had for 10 years or so. It is 17 years old, and just went over 100,000 miles.
Anyway what I noticed on my time alone, where I was going to make me the best person ever. As a floor cleaner too remember I already made the turn. I was waiting though... figured something would pop up. I was not getting better as a person I don't think. As a matter of fact I was seeing myself with better and better vision, and not liking what I saw. I guess I stopped looking at my filtered self, and was looking at the real me. Remember being friends with honest Lora and all that stuff. A lot of stuff went on during this time, and I find it funny I remember. All this led up remember to some hard times and hard days. Can you imagine??? I knew something would happen in the future after my suffering. I never knew when. I knew pretty much when it started up, that day of reading blogs in the winter. As with the Summer of my Discontent I was searching for my final thing I must do. Now remember I thought the last two Thanksgivings were the time. Now I have no idea. There is so much that needs to be done, and I don't know the time, although I am guessing I will know pretty close to when it happens. All I know is what I have to do, and what I have been willing to do since the early 90's. This ain't my story, this is just a story being made.
What you do, and what you have to do is your story, and how your life goes. Our path is not one of success. Our path is one of failure. It is Jim Pejchl's story, and it is Steve Rose's story. When you stand naked and alone in all your failures is there someone who would still accept you??
The answer is yes. Your path is not one of arrogance, and not one of I am better than Sandusky. The path is of you. The unfiltered you. The part of you perhaps you want no one to know, but deep down you really do want people to know. The picture of you is not done with a camera, because the picture of you is what is inside. Your thoughts and who you are.
A lot to life. Be open to it. Life gets pretty busy.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. I can really get a little nutty on this thing. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :D :D
Yes, it is all about trust, and honesty, and strength. This shit ain't easy. I have been pretty faithful though with this blog. Been pretty honest too I think. :) xoxoxoxo
Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzz. :)
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Happy Saturday!! :)
Hey all how's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. Fridays are pretty lame days I'd say. You finish the week of work. Perhaps a bit tired. It is a day off of running for me, and I didn't run yesterday. After work I had a couple beers, and napped, woke up for a bit and went to bed. Rock and Roll baby. You know me. ;)
The good thing about sleeping early though is being ready for Saturday.
Geesh, not much on my mind today. It has been kind of a weird week I'd say. I don't know what to make of it. Silence on so many levels. I guess that could mean anything. As people we are pretty bad communicators I'd say. How we are, and how we should be is at odds huh?? Can you imagine yourself if you never had a filter, and always spoke what is on your mind?? Some people put so much importance on some really stupid shit.
How you are with the filter is not how you really are though. Yourself without the filter is who you are. Do you ever look at your unfiltered thoughts and wonder why?? I see shit every day, and think geesh. what an idiot. :)
That kinda is a dilemma huh?? Your filter allows you to appear to others how you think you "should" be, and the unfiltered part of you is who and how you really are. See what I mean, we all can be jerks. If you wanted to make your unfiltered self nice how would you go about it?? Can't do it can you?? We are made a judging machine for some reason. That which we should not do we are powerless to not do. We all are guilty. Some are filled with such bad info they think killing people is the answer. Pretty sure that is not the path to peace. You sow in anger, and killing, and bombs etc... you don't miraculously reap in love.
I guess I have been saying sow in what you have control of. Honesty. The hard but right way. You know there probably is a certain logic to why countries think the way they do. What if level headed people spoke truthfully. Our country hates your country because of this. Well we did this because of this. etc... Couldn't people find a common ground eventually?? Break down the walls that make communication impossible.
Hate and anger is a great motivator and an easy thing to hold onto. What if all your hate and all your anger is wrong? You hold onto it, and there is security in having it, but what if it is wrong?? Wouldn't you want to find a better way??
Oh well, today was a real struggle getting stuff down, and I am not sure why. Maybe because the week has been silent, and weird'ish.
It is early though, so I am going to get my run in. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. We need rain...
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
The good thing about sleeping early though is being ready for Saturday.
Geesh, not much on my mind today. It has been kind of a weird week I'd say. I don't know what to make of it. Silence on so many levels. I guess that could mean anything. As people we are pretty bad communicators I'd say. How we are, and how we should be is at odds huh?? Can you imagine yourself if you never had a filter, and always spoke what is on your mind?? Some people put so much importance on some really stupid shit.
How you are with the filter is not how you really are though. Yourself without the filter is who you are. Do you ever look at your unfiltered thoughts and wonder why?? I see shit every day, and think geesh. what an idiot. :)
That kinda is a dilemma huh?? Your filter allows you to appear to others how you think you "should" be, and the unfiltered part of you is who and how you really are. See what I mean, we all can be jerks. If you wanted to make your unfiltered self nice how would you go about it?? Can't do it can you?? We are made a judging machine for some reason. That which we should not do we are powerless to not do. We all are guilty. Some are filled with such bad info they think killing people is the answer. Pretty sure that is not the path to peace. You sow in anger, and killing, and bombs etc... you don't miraculously reap in love.
I guess I have been saying sow in what you have control of. Honesty. The hard but right way. You know there probably is a certain logic to why countries think the way they do. What if level headed people spoke truthfully. Our country hates your country because of this. Well we did this because of this. etc... Couldn't people find a common ground eventually?? Break down the walls that make communication impossible.
Hate and anger is a great motivator and an easy thing to hold onto. What if all your hate and all your anger is wrong? You hold onto it, and there is security in having it, but what if it is wrong?? Wouldn't you want to find a better way??
Oh well, today was a real struggle getting stuff down, and I am not sure why. Maybe because the week has been silent, and weird'ish.
It is early though, so I am going to get my run in. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. We need rain...
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Friday, June 22, 2012
Time Moves On...
Happy Friday all. How's it goin?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I need to gets me some coffee, so I will brb.
I had just about the best Thursday ever. I got a lot of shit done around the house. Laundry, and cut the grass type shit. We got a nice run in. It is a challenging run in parts. On the trail the run is great, and then you climb the hill. The hill is brutal. It is steep, and there is an incline just to get to the hill, so trust me there is no way to not be totally gassed at the top, and then you still have to run another 100 yds or so to stop and drink water. I am never thirsty at this point, but it is nice to stop. ;) Actually in all honesty, I am getting used to the hill so I can probably keep running. I already feel myself recovering when I get to the water stop. We do the loop twice, and then tack on some extra hilly stuff at the end.
You know running. You feel great at the end, and couple that with a productive day, well you feel pretty good about life. I know I did. I had pizza for dinner, and a couple drinks. We hung for a bit, and I went to bed. You know my life. Non-stop glam day in day out. ;)
Ooops, I have a title saying time moves on. Why did I put that there?? No reason really. Life is hard to predict though isn't it?? From Heimleblog, Journey, to this, I have been through a lot, and so have the people I know, and whose blogs I read. Life is unpredictable, so if someone ever asks you where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years, you know they are intellectually challenged. You don't know what can happen. We are not guaranteed sunset years of retirement. If I am healthy, I hope I would run, and that is my answer.
Remember all our dreams when we were younger?? We wanted to make a name for ourselves somehow. How does one do that?? Well I have some thoughts on life I guess, and I guess they are plastered all over this blog huh?? Is everything about me been written?? My thoughts during H.S. The tough times through College, the tough times after Graduation. A horrible Summer where I was left to search. Receiving a Blessing when I really wanted something else. Lost all hope and around me was nothing but despair. I waited my ending. Sleep came, and I woke up in the hospital. My search for truth was hard, but I was led on this way to suffer for some reason. Maybe in our suffering do we really see what is important. After that I went through that horrible physical depression, where I wished life never were for like a year. I became friends with Natalie. She broke my heart when she went to Denmark and wrote 1 letter to every one of my 10 or something stupid. I guess I have a tendency to write a lot. ;) Exercise bike, running, and bam, the energy returned, and I led a Joseph Heller type life. I was still naive thinking the world was fair. Hard work pays off and stuff, but I have grown in my wisdom I guess to say the world is fake, false, and society is not what you should put your faith in. Trust in your life. Trust in what you see. The magical path is not anything you do, but be open to what you see. When the time comes do not harden your heart. Believe, and trust, because it is easy to follow your hardened heart, and I bet many fall there. Anger is big, one of the lessons of Noah. Believing when spoken too is big, it is the only thing.
The story is one of love, and compassion, and forgiveness, and humility. Our journey really is one where we are humbled I guess. The truth of us is one of humility I guess huh?? We really ain't that fucking great, but if we have the courage to be honest, and truthful, then that I think is pretty fucking great. :)
Oh well, guess that is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Since I blew off Wednesdays run, I am thinking of getting a little one in today. For the heck of it.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Oh, and a little shout out to Colleen Kingery. She follows my blog, and I follow hers. Same with Twitter, and we do FB too. I hardly even know her either. :) She is going away for the weekend, and made her husband chocolate chip cookies though, so she cannot be all bad. :P
Have a great one all. :)
xoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
I had just about the best Thursday ever. I got a lot of shit done around the house. Laundry, and cut the grass type shit. We got a nice run in. It is a challenging run in parts. On the trail the run is great, and then you climb the hill. The hill is brutal. It is steep, and there is an incline just to get to the hill, so trust me there is no way to not be totally gassed at the top, and then you still have to run another 100 yds or so to stop and drink water. I am never thirsty at this point, but it is nice to stop. ;) Actually in all honesty, I am getting used to the hill so I can probably keep running. I already feel myself recovering when I get to the water stop. We do the loop twice, and then tack on some extra hilly stuff at the end.
You know running. You feel great at the end, and couple that with a productive day, well you feel pretty good about life. I know I did. I had pizza for dinner, and a couple drinks. We hung for a bit, and I went to bed. You know my life. Non-stop glam day in day out. ;)
Ooops, I have a title saying time moves on. Why did I put that there?? No reason really. Life is hard to predict though isn't it?? From Heimleblog, Journey, to this, I have been through a lot, and so have the people I know, and whose blogs I read. Life is unpredictable, so if someone ever asks you where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years, you know they are intellectually challenged. You don't know what can happen. We are not guaranteed sunset years of retirement. If I am healthy, I hope I would run, and that is my answer.
Remember all our dreams when we were younger?? We wanted to make a name for ourselves somehow. How does one do that?? Well I have some thoughts on life I guess, and I guess they are plastered all over this blog huh?? Is everything about me been written?? My thoughts during H.S. The tough times through College, the tough times after Graduation. A horrible Summer where I was left to search. Receiving a Blessing when I really wanted something else. Lost all hope and around me was nothing but despair. I waited my ending. Sleep came, and I woke up in the hospital. My search for truth was hard, but I was led on this way to suffer for some reason. Maybe in our suffering do we really see what is important. After that I went through that horrible physical depression, where I wished life never were for like a year. I became friends with Natalie. She broke my heart when she went to Denmark and wrote 1 letter to every one of my 10 or something stupid. I guess I have a tendency to write a lot. ;) Exercise bike, running, and bam, the energy returned, and I led a Joseph Heller type life. I was still naive thinking the world was fair. Hard work pays off and stuff, but I have grown in my wisdom I guess to say the world is fake, false, and society is not what you should put your faith in. Trust in your life. Trust in what you see. The magical path is not anything you do, but be open to what you see. When the time comes do not harden your heart. Believe, and trust, because it is easy to follow your hardened heart, and I bet many fall there. Anger is big, one of the lessons of Noah. Believing when spoken too is big, it is the only thing.
The story is one of love, and compassion, and forgiveness, and humility. Our journey really is one where we are humbled I guess. The truth of us is one of humility I guess huh?? We really ain't that fucking great, but if we have the courage to be honest, and truthful, then that I think is pretty fucking great. :)
Oh well, guess that is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Since I blew off Wednesdays run, I am thinking of getting a little one in today. For the heck of it.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Oh, and a little shout out to Colleen Kingery. She follows my blog, and I follow hers. Same with Twitter, and we do FB too. I hardly even know her either. :) She is going away for the weekend, and made her husband chocolate chip cookies though, so she cannot be all bad. :P
Have a great one all. :)
xoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Quick Update...
Yeah, I don't know why I am giving a quick update. It isn't like my life is all fascinating or anything. I blew off speed work last night, and I couldn't really tell you why. Lisa doesn't close all week, so I thought it would be a good day to hang. That is my favorite past time btw. Hanging out around the house. I guess one could probably tell that though huh??
I don't plan on skipping speed work much, but you know if it is 90+ and windy as hell that would be the day to do it huh?? ;)
I got most of my shit done for the week at work, and that means I can start projects early. :)
Wanna know something about me?? I think people are pretty interesting... well some people. Life is this thing we all do, and some people get steered in different directions with their interests and stuff, but I guess I like how unique and different people are.
I guess I am pretty lucky with how easy my life is. Work, run, hang. We cook most of our meals, and go out I'd say twice/week. More for lunch too. This weekend we are going to see another movie. I have a vacation coming up, and I am finally going to read that damn Ayn Rand book. Sometimes my blog entries are about what I read, whether it be a blog or a book, and sometimes it is just what pops in my mind. I have a feeling the Ayn Rand book will make for a couple entries about Economics perhaps. We'll see.
Blogging I guess is kinda hard if you feel like no one reads. I feel that way sometimes too, that no one reads, but I am a pretty good Energizer bunny I guess. I continue to write this crap down anyway. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. I guess I like blogging. I did Heimleblog, and sometimes imagined 1 million people read it, and sometimes figured no one did. :) Strange huh?? I am happy with the amount of good times life has to offer. I am happy about Summer, and happy about next year too. I am happy about winter coming up, and dreading February. Still always ready though to do what I must... I have been given a strong and courageous heart I guess huh??
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
I don't plan on skipping speed work much, but you know if it is 90+ and windy as hell that would be the day to do it huh?? ;)
I got most of my shit done for the week at work, and that means I can start projects early. :)
Wanna know something about me?? I think people are pretty interesting... well some people. Life is this thing we all do, and some people get steered in different directions with their interests and stuff, but I guess I like how unique and different people are.
I guess I am pretty lucky with how easy my life is. Work, run, hang. We cook most of our meals, and go out I'd say twice/week. More for lunch too. This weekend we are going to see another movie. I have a vacation coming up, and I am finally going to read that damn Ayn Rand book. Sometimes my blog entries are about what I read, whether it be a blog or a book, and sometimes it is just what pops in my mind. I have a feeling the Ayn Rand book will make for a couple entries about Economics perhaps. We'll see.
Blogging I guess is kinda hard if you feel like no one reads. I feel that way sometimes too, that no one reads, but I am a pretty good Energizer bunny I guess. I continue to write this crap down anyway. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. I guess I like blogging. I did Heimleblog, and sometimes imagined 1 million people read it, and sometimes figured no one did. :) Strange huh?? I am happy with the amount of good times life has to offer. I am happy about Summer, and happy about next year too. I am happy about winter coming up, and dreading February. Still always ready though to do what I must... I have been given a strong and courageous heart I guess huh??
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Diplomacy...
Do you ever have the Diplomacy issue?? Now Diplomats you can just picture wearing nice suits, and nicely tailored uniforms. They have to say the right thing. Diplomacy is just an act of not being open, and perhaps not being honest. A Diplomat has stresses to look right. He/She needs to look the part, and a lot of pressure to not say the wrong thing. As a person I think full out honesty, and full out truthfulness works better, than our view of how we want to manipulate events. Diplomats and World Leaders are just manipulators of events. They go in the direction of their best intentions. Sometimes it is of A Nixon/Kissinger- 2 man Foreign Policy, where Nixon didn't care how many of those little Asians he killed in bombing.
Countries are all full of a lot of bad information. As I get older and I look at things differently I think in my youth I was dumb. Not that I am smart mind you, but I think of all the things in life I did that now I think was stupid. Ever buying a new car was dumb. I have had my ugly ass white truck for like 10 years or so. It is a piece of shit, but gets me from point A to point B. I bought it for like $2100. In my youth I believed hard work pays off. I did the College thing, I worked hard, and went through my crap I went through, and found a good job. I was not going to let anyone out work me. I was going to put a lot of effort, and watch all the money roll in. The illusion left after 10 years. Job start getting harder and harder, and the little piece of the pie I get for being profitable was getting smaller and smaller. So much to an extent I would have a significantly more profitable dept. and the bonus would be significantly smaller. That is an incentive kill. My first trip to Hawaii I came in at a whopping 217 lbs. and that Summer I was down to 167 or so. I realized there is more to life, and I was unhappy in my job, so I stepped down. It crushed us financially, because we had a lot of debt, because we needed all the gadgets, and I didn't worry about debt at first, because my bonuses were going to be huge.... ooops. We eventually learned our lessons Even though we had financial difficulties it didn't put danger on the marriage at all. Between Lisa and I we just dealt with it. We still went to dinners and had fun.
Mostly Lisa and my disagreements happened with flare ups with people living here. Lisa and I have worked together since we have been together. I don't get people who want to do nothing with their lives. What the Hell is that???
Well anyway we ran 6.5+ miles last night with Jerry and Ken. It was gross, and hot, and nasty, and we walked some. Ken is the oldest, and was not enjoying himself. Jerry and I are coming off a couple weeks of 35 miles or so, I was o.k. at the end. Our bodies have to acclimate to this junk. Last night helped. Tonight will be ugly again. :)
Afterwards we sat outside. Lisa cooked dinner on the grill. I had a couple drinks, and that was pretty o.k. A little run, and little dinner, and some chill time. I'll take it. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. I hafta get ready for work. laterzzzzz. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Countries are all full of a lot of bad information. As I get older and I look at things differently I think in my youth I was dumb. Not that I am smart mind you, but I think of all the things in life I did that now I think was stupid. Ever buying a new car was dumb. I have had my ugly ass white truck for like 10 years or so. It is a piece of shit, but gets me from point A to point B. I bought it for like $2100. In my youth I believed hard work pays off. I did the College thing, I worked hard, and went through my crap I went through, and found a good job. I was not going to let anyone out work me. I was going to put a lot of effort, and watch all the money roll in. The illusion left after 10 years. Job start getting harder and harder, and the little piece of the pie I get for being profitable was getting smaller and smaller. So much to an extent I would have a significantly more profitable dept. and the bonus would be significantly smaller. That is an incentive kill. My first trip to Hawaii I came in at a whopping 217 lbs. and that Summer I was down to 167 or so. I realized there is more to life, and I was unhappy in my job, so I stepped down. It crushed us financially, because we had a lot of debt, because we needed all the gadgets, and I didn't worry about debt at first, because my bonuses were going to be huge.... ooops. We eventually learned our lessons Even though we had financial difficulties it didn't put danger on the marriage at all. Between Lisa and I we just dealt with it. We still went to dinners and had fun.
Mostly Lisa and my disagreements happened with flare ups with people living here. Lisa and I have worked together since we have been together. I don't get people who want to do nothing with their lives. What the Hell is that???
Well anyway we ran 6.5+ miles last night with Jerry and Ken. It was gross, and hot, and nasty, and we walked some. Ken is the oldest, and was not enjoying himself. Jerry and I are coming off a couple weeks of 35 miles or so, I was o.k. at the end. Our bodies have to acclimate to this junk. Last night helped. Tonight will be ugly again. :)
Afterwards we sat outside. Lisa cooked dinner on the grill. I had a couple drinks, and that was pretty o.k. A little run, and little dinner, and some chill time. I'll take it. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. I hafta get ready for work. laterzzzzz. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
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