Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. Now yesterday after finishing job #2 I was tired. I mean ready to pass out tired, but I didn't want to go to bed at 2:00 PM, so I stayed up. I have no idea how late, maybe 5:00 or so.
So anyway I was looking at my numbers of blog posts. Last 3 years were in this order. 280,290,300. So far through May I am at 50 entries. So I thought about that a bit. Sometimes when I start thinking my blog sucks, I go back and read a post or two, and then I think it isn't horrible. Yesterday I went back and read a post or two, and it seemed horrible. :) HAHA So it is a sucky blog, and many times before I thought it was an okay blog, or I was just really tired.
Who knows and who cares?? I don't really know what to make of my blog to be honest. It must be different in some ways, as I am different. I thought about some of the difficult times in my life, and everything was always hidden. I know what I was going through, but no one else did. After the final thing I do, nothing will remain hidden. The World will know me at that point, and I will be the World's enemy.
I know these things in my head, but sometimes I think people hate me anyway, and I probably have good reason some of the time.
So that is what I am thinking, and where do I and this blog go from here?? Good question. I've lost my blog mojo, so I definitely don't post too much. I know some things of how life is heading, and the direction we are going, but you cannot see it. Maybe you cannot even feel it.
Anyway my life has a purpose, although as I am now I can do soooooo very little. I have a message that says we aren't as important as we think. We don't do much of value, because what is valued after we are dead??
Of all the things accumulated, and accomplished which of these things will you bring with you?? After you are dead you are naked of all things. As you judged so will you be judged. If you lived by the sword however failingly you also will die by the sword.
Like it says the Garden of Eden is surrounded by 4 great swords, and there only is one way in. If it were possible to work your way into it I would have done it.
That is a lesson of my life too. I suffered a lot to get to the point where I was at in life. Been through a lot of things I wouldn't wish on anyone. A hard path for sure, so you would think I deserve something huh?? What I learned when overcoming the 2nd time is nope. All I've done up to that point meant nothing. If I wasn't given the strength needed in my heart to do the right thing at the right time, I am toast.
Also the only way I can accept this with a happy heart is because of what was done that night several years ago after I gave up. Also another lesson, I cannot be, and cannot do what I am supposed to if I didn't have help.
What does that mean for you?? Maybe what I have been saying all along kinda. No matter which way you dice it up, and gussy it up, and all that, we just are not all that. Life is not all that either, but we got to put the real glasses on, and maybe that is what my blog helps with. Swimming against the current slowly we take off the rose pedaled glasses for ones that gives us better vision, and we fight screaming and kicking the whole way, because everything looks so much better with the rose colored glasses.
That kinda is a choice huh?? You want truth or you want fantasy??
Oh well til next time whenever that is. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. it is raining a bit, but I am going to try and run a little 2 mile run. Hope I can bend at work tonight. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D