Good afternoon all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. This thing gets sloppy sometimes. There isn't a lot of thought I put into this. I go with the flow. With whatever is on my mind at that point in time.
I still can get little attacks. No one cares. No one has time to read this etc... I have time to write it though. :)
Anyway there are some tough things you will find in here once in a while. No way around it. I can not even begin to explain about me to make you understand, and I know a lot of things about you, that you cannot even imagine. That is where we stand. I know what makes up a person. I know what makes us fall short. I know the things you have to overcome, and I know exactly where you stand. You don't.
So that makes it hard for me, because I want you to figure this stuff out on your own. I want you to ask the questions you are afraid to. I am different, and I am able to accept a Heck-uv-a lot more than you.
The story of you is not a bad story. It is interesting, and you have a lot of stuff to find out about you. Everything matters in Life, and there is only so many things you want to show am I right??
You live inside you. I don't. You have to see why you are the way you are. Why you are not strong enough to overpower yourself. We all stand in the same spot. Not quite who we think we should be. I know I know we seek out the fabulous stuff within us all, but it is the other stuff you have to get to know. Who are these demons in me I continually fight and lose to??
Now is a time where our fabulous side means nothing. Throw all that away, and look at all that is real about you. Why ?? Why?? Why??
Anyway, I am up way too early. We worked late last night as someone went home sick, and we had a crap load to do. I wake up when I wake up though, so I will get my bike ride in, and hopefully nap before work tonight.
I actually even stepped on our scale yesterday, and it is broken, unless I really weight 240 lbs. and not 180. :) It was down in our damp basement for a couple years, and I think it is all screwy now. I texted Lisa to pick up a new one. If she reads her text before she leaves work that is. Maybe I should sext her like a Politician. Nahhh, she'd have a heart attack. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. got nothing.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
What Do You Do When You Cannot Run??
Well, you ride your bike. Life throws a lot of stuff at you, and a lot of times it is easy to get down and stuff. I was thinking of looking at other options. My start with getting in shape was an exercise bike. I thought, well I can maybe stomach the trainer for an hour a day. It might not be fun, but I think I can do it. Then this morning I thought well why don't I just ride my bike. I have a route that should take me just a bit more than an hour, and maybe I will start doing that. Actually, I am going to start doing that. A done deal. As soon as it gets light out.
I also thought of maybe swimming again, but I fear my back thing still bugs me when I use that motion. So biking it is. I haven't stepped on a scale in a couple years, so I have no idea what I weigh. I'd say somewhere around 180 probably, and I am probably best at 170. Biking helps me with that, because I can workout for more time than just running. Also I can always do long stuff anytime on the bike too.
I have a heel issue with my foot that will not let me run. It happened last Thursday. I was on about mile 9 of a 9-1/2 mile run, and I felt something. I didn't think anything of it. I ran two days later, and felt it at around mile 3 of my run. It was not a good thing. I took some time off, and yesterday I ran, and felt it at mile 1. It hurts, and it doesn't loosen up. I don't know what it is, but it definitely is something I should not be running on.
So that is that. I made Burritos for dinner last night, and they were good. Really good. Don't know why we haven't done that before.
Life sometimes gets a little stale at times I would think. It is always good to switch gears once in a while. I am running injured, so I will make a little turn that in the long run will make me better.
In the World there are a lot of problems, and we will not fix them. People get rigid in their thinking. They grab one or two things, and pound them into people to death. It simplifies things kinda, and people want simple answers. People want scapegoats and they want blame to fall somewhere.
We all have stuff inside us. Anger and what not. Don't look for the scape goat. Look inside you. What is the stuff that makes you angry? Say you wanted to be a nice and smiley person who is nice to people. What is it that makes you not be that person??
Anyway I don't have a real lot today, and I am kinda bored blogging.
cya.
I also thought of maybe swimming again, but I fear my back thing still bugs me when I use that motion. So biking it is. I haven't stepped on a scale in a couple years, so I have no idea what I weigh. I'd say somewhere around 180 probably, and I am probably best at 170. Biking helps me with that, because I can workout for more time than just running. Also I can always do long stuff anytime on the bike too.
I have a heel issue with my foot that will not let me run. It happened last Thursday. I was on about mile 9 of a 9-1/2 mile run, and I felt something. I didn't think anything of it. I ran two days later, and felt it at around mile 3 of my run. It was not a good thing. I took some time off, and yesterday I ran, and felt it at mile 1. It hurts, and it doesn't loosen up. I don't know what it is, but it definitely is something I should not be running on.
So that is that. I made Burritos for dinner last night, and they were good. Really good. Don't know why we haven't done that before.
Life sometimes gets a little stale at times I would think. It is always good to switch gears once in a while. I am running injured, so I will make a little turn that in the long run will make me better.
In the World there are a lot of problems, and we will not fix them. People get rigid in their thinking. They grab one or two things, and pound them into people to death. It simplifies things kinda, and people want simple answers. People want scapegoats and they want blame to fall somewhere.
We all have stuff inside us. Anger and what not. Don't look for the scape goat. Look inside you. What is the stuff that makes you angry? Say you wanted to be a nice and smiley person who is nice to people. What is it that makes you not be that person??
Anyway I don't have a real lot today, and I am kinda bored blogging.
cya.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
A Day Off Today...
Good Morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I have the day off of work today. I didn't work last night, and I don't work tonight. So I can do whatever I want. I imagine a bit of a run. Hope the heel cooperates. Get some stuff done around the house, and maybe watch a movie or two. I was thinking of making burritos for dinner tonight. You know what?? We have never made those before. I think it would be neat to try.
Other than that not much going on. I am kinda tired, and that is surprising to me, because I slept good last night. Oh well, maybe not enough sleep the last couple days.
Anyway, I think I have given people a lot to think about. This blog isn't easy, well it mostly is easy to me, but probably not easy to read.
Today I have a day off, and I think I will take a day off from this blog.
So til tomorrow. :)
Laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :)
Other than that not much going on. I am kinda tired, and that is surprising to me, because I slept good last night. Oh well, maybe not enough sleep the last couple days.
Anyway, I think I have given people a lot to think about. This blog isn't easy, well it mostly is easy to me, but probably not easy to read.
Today I have a day off, and I think I will take a day off from this blog.
So til tomorrow. :)
Laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :)
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
All In A Day...
Well, yesterday was a pretty good day, AND then...
I saw a post to the Letter to the Editor in our local newspaper. Typical stuff. Rich people treating poorer people horribly. How dare people who don't have enough money to live on Lake Michigan want to see the Lake from the South Side of Holland. That is off limits. We are an exclusive community here. Yep, if those people wanted to go to see Lake Michigan they would have to drive the 10 miles to get to the other side of Lake Macatawa. Holland is a city built by Angry White Men who came from Europe. Parts of them still are alive, and only a small misguided amount try to carry on their ancestors traditions of hate, and misguided arrogance.
Anyhoo, that is the reason I don't read the newspaper, or watch the news. I see nothing but hate, and crap out there. Now I see we may be going down a scary path the Syria way. One where Syria has friends in powerful places.
The World is full of anger, and man killing is the way of the World. Always has been. What sense can you make of it?? Why must we kill people??
I know where the anger comes from. Bad teaching, and bad beliefs, and life just not being what I expected. I mean Hitler found a scape goat for his anger and misery, and was able to transform that to a bad time for the World.
You want to escape it all, but there really are no answers to living with the plants and nature and stuff. So what do you do?? You keep your eyes open, and you keep your heart open. There are answers and meaning to your life, but you gotta be open. Don't close yourself, and don't be afraid to doubt everything you have ever been taught.
You know what that life really seems to be about Centuries ago. You know what he came to really do it seems. Unteach the World everything it ever knew. Remember how I said God had a dark side?? Well if we do too, and we get angry and are filled with hate toward people, then Noah and the Ark makes sense right??
I mean even he said "Jacob I loved, and Esau I hated right?" One came who had no darkness, and he was all light. He had understanding, and he could see the people's end. The totality of their life. He brought along some disciples, and they held onto nothing. Followed him to see where it leads.
It led to a death, and a victory over darkness. All the darkness will go away. After death did they stop?? The little secret that is hidden. Nope they followed along after. They had their own journeys to go, and we don't know much about that do we??
I too am asked to follow along. How much of my journey was based on fear?? A lot. I don't know why I had to go on such a long and horribly scary journey of me. Can you imagine going on and on with the understanding of being doomed to Hades every day. Thinking about it every second of every day. Being judged every second of every day, and knowing you are a pile of dung. Worthless. You are nothing of value, and what kept me going??
Hope, that, well I am still alive. At this point in time realize I was trapped in the jaws of life. There was no way out. No one to help me. I couldn't talk to anyone, because I was led on a journey of craziness. It was part of the plan. My stuff all had to be solo. I had no support whatsoever. None. I couldn't wake up, and say I matter, because of this.
Maybe that is what my blog does. Maybe sometimes people feel so low, and so bad, and there is nowhere to turn, but you can read this, and know you are important. There may be nothing good in this World, and our lives sure are pretty dumb, but you are important here huh??
So this is a crazy thing we do here. I am sorry I have to bring such hard news to you, but I have lived it the better part of 23 years give or take. I really don't do anything of value either mind you. I have no sense of where what I write goes. It must be part of the plan, and you read into it what you need.
I don't know it seems this blog is yin and yang to me. Good and bad, good and bad, and the only reason it is of some value is from what I received right prior to going into the hospital. We cannot do anything without a blessing, and without love you get no points, and the greatest gift is love.
Life has so much to it, and you never know when the World may make a turn. A turn where all Hell breaks loose, and you wonder if you'll end like Anne Frank. You never know. We are not to make Heaven on Earth here. We are to seek answers, and open our hearts, because they need to be filled with the good stuff. Whenever we close ourselves we make ourselves worse people.
So stay strong as always. Trust in your Journey, and trust trust trust. Many fall away, because their life is too important and they are too important, but keep going.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. Kinda been dealing with a heel injury, so I will probably try to run tomorrow. Go figure huh?? :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Have a fab one all. :) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo MWAH!! :))
I saw a post to the Letter to the Editor in our local newspaper. Typical stuff. Rich people treating poorer people horribly. How dare people who don't have enough money to live on Lake Michigan want to see the Lake from the South Side of Holland. That is off limits. We are an exclusive community here. Yep, if those people wanted to go to see Lake Michigan they would have to drive the 10 miles to get to the other side of Lake Macatawa. Holland is a city built by Angry White Men who came from Europe. Parts of them still are alive, and only a small misguided amount try to carry on their ancestors traditions of hate, and misguided arrogance.
Anyhoo, that is the reason I don't read the newspaper, or watch the news. I see nothing but hate, and crap out there. Now I see we may be going down a scary path the Syria way. One where Syria has friends in powerful places.
The World is full of anger, and man killing is the way of the World. Always has been. What sense can you make of it?? Why must we kill people??
I know where the anger comes from. Bad teaching, and bad beliefs, and life just not being what I expected. I mean Hitler found a scape goat for his anger and misery, and was able to transform that to a bad time for the World.
You want to escape it all, but there really are no answers to living with the plants and nature and stuff. So what do you do?? You keep your eyes open, and you keep your heart open. There are answers and meaning to your life, but you gotta be open. Don't close yourself, and don't be afraid to doubt everything you have ever been taught.
You know what that life really seems to be about Centuries ago. You know what he came to really do it seems. Unteach the World everything it ever knew. Remember how I said God had a dark side?? Well if we do too, and we get angry and are filled with hate toward people, then Noah and the Ark makes sense right??
I mean even he said "Jacob I loved, and Esau I hated right?" One came who had no darkness, and he was all light. He had understanding, and he could see the people's end. The totality of their life. He brought along some disciples, and they held onto nothing. Followed him to see where it leads.
It led to a death, and a victory over darkness. All the darkness will go away. After death did they stop?? The little secret that is hidden. Nope they followed along after. They had their own journeys to go, and we don't know much about that do we??
I too am asked to follow along. How much of my journey was based on fear?? A lot. I don't know why I had to go on such a long and horribly scary journey of me. Can you imagine going on and on with the understanding of being doomed to Hades every day. Thinking about it every second of every day. Being judged every second of every day, and knowing you are a pile of dung. Worthless. You are nothing of value, and what kept me going??
Hope, that, well I am still alive. At this point in time realize I was trapped in the jaws of life. There was no way out. No one to help me. I couldn't talk to anyone, because I was led on a journey of craziness. It was part of the plan. My stuff all had to be solo. I had no support whatsoever. None. I couldn't wake up, and say I matter, because of this.
Maybe that is what my blog does. Maybe sometimes people feel so low, and so bad, and there is nowhere to turn, but you can read this, and know you are important. There may be nothing good in this World, and our lives sure are pretty dumb, but you are important here huh??
So this is a crazy thing we do here. I am sorry I have to bring such hard news to you, but I have lived it the better part of 23 years give or take. I really don't do anything of value either mind you. I have no sense of where what I write goes. It must be part of the plan, and you read into it what you need.
I don't know it seems this blog is yin and yang to me. Good and bad, good and bad, and the only reason it is of some value is from what I received right prior to going into the hospital. We cannot do anything without a blessing, and without love you get no points, and the greatest gift is love.
Life has so much to it, and you never know when the World may make a turn. A turn where all Hell breaks loose, and you wonder if you'll end like Anne Frank. You never know. We are not to make Heaven on Earth here. We are to seek answers, and open our hearts, because they need to be filled with the good stuff. Whenever we close ourselves we make ourselves worse people.
So stay strong as always. Trust in your Journey, and trust trust trust. Many fall away, because their life is too important and they are too important, but keep going.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. Kinda been dealing with a heel injury, so I will probably try to run tomorrow. Go figure huh?? :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Have a fab one all. :) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo MWAH!! :))
Monday, August 26, 2013
Always A Curve Ball...
Good Afternoon All. How's it going?? I say all, but I am having a people don't read this thing too often feeling. The death of this blog.
Anyhoodles, what is going on with me?? The closing of oneself is a way to a not so healthy existence. Society is made in such a way where there is real pressure to conform. Somehow stay within the confines of the so called "normalcy" Society has dictated. I am not saying Society is a person, but there is real pressure within Society. Pressure to not be us, and pressure to conform to the norm.
I give you a brief glimpse inside me with this thing, and I forget about the big sword that makes up my whole being. I have the ultimate good and the ultimate bad all trapped into this person who I still am too. a very confusing thing for you to understand for sure, but I have a great sword. I have had it for a long time, and I try to keep it under wraps kinda. What I know, and what I see is probably scary shit, and probably not something people really want to think about.
You don't even want to know the negative crap I can throw on here. Life has a lot of negative stuff, and I am with the knowledge of a lot of it. I'd like to make things easier for people, but this thing is hard we do.
Life was never supposed to be easy for you. I have a way for you to worry about the important stuff, and throw away the garbage that just ties you down. Hasn't it always depended on trust and strength?? The story of my blog all of last year right. Doreen and Olga, Doreen and Olga.
Anyway, life is full of tough stuff. I sometimes forget it is hard to look at what is inside me. Yesterday's post was a doozy, and I never ever have any idea when those will hit.
Anyway. It is all good. The things that kinda bugged me before about this blog are pretty much gone. I am not upset about anything or angry, and I am cool. Life has moved on, and so have I.
I ask some pretty tough stuff of people, but I have had my fair share of hard moments. I have been through things where I put my trust in who knows me best, and who knows my journey, and who knows my path.
I forget how much life and stuff just ties us down.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. ehhh, somedays you just have to throw this up for a p.s.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Oh, and btw part of life's journey is accepting the fact that deep down we all will be perceived by Society to be a little bonkers. The truth is stranger than fiction. Just another one of those things to make things kinda hard to open up.
Anyhoodles, what is going on with me?? The closing of oneself is a way to a not so healthy existence. Society is made in such a way where there is real pressure to conform. Somehow stay within the confines of the so called "normalcy" Society has dictated. I am not saying Society is a person, but there is real pressure within Society. Pressure to not be us, and pressure to conform to the norm.
I give you a brief glimpse inside me with this thing, and I forget about the big sword that makes up my whole being. I have the ultimate good and the ultimate bad all trapped into this person who I still am too. a very confusing thing for you to understand for sure, but I have a great sword. I have had it for a long time, and I try to keep it under wraps kinda. What I know, and what I see is probably scary shit, and probably not something people really want to think about.
You don't even want to know the negative crap I can throw on here. Life has a lot of negative stuff, and I am with the knowledge of a lot of it. I'd like to make things easier for people, but this thing is hard we do.
Life was never supposed to be easy for you. I have a way for you to worry about the important stuff, and throw away the garbage that just ties you down. Hasn't it always depended on trust and strength?? The story of my blog all of last year right. Doreen and Olga, Doreen and Olga.
Anyway, life is full of tough stuff. I sometimes forget it is hard to look at what is inside me. Yesterday's post was a doozy, and I never ever have any idea when those will hit.
Anyway. It is all good. The things that kinda bugged me before about this blog are pretty much gone. I am not upset about anything or angry, and I am cool. Life has moved on, and so have I.
I ask some pretty tough stuff of people, but I have had my fair share of hard moments. I have been through things where I put my trust in who knows me best, and who knows my journey, and who knows my path.
I forget how much life and stuff just ties us down.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. ehhh, somedays you just have to throw this up for a p.s.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Oh, and btw part of life's journey is accepting the fact that deep down we all will be perceived by Society to be a little bonkers. The truth is stranger than fiction. Just another one of those things to make things kinda hard to open up.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Now What??
Hello, and Good Afternoon. How's it going?? Me, I am doing okay. Do you wonder how I write the way I do so often?? No?? Yes??
I mean it seems to me I go on and on about life and kinda how stupid it is right?? Does it seem like my heart is always kinda happy, and I have a smiling heart?? Does that make sense to you??
I have been that way a while huh?? I definitely hit the dark days for whatever reason. It seems sometimes I have to deal with shit. Mostly the outlook is pretty okay I'd say. Then I think of some people I know, and you have those acquaintances who are in a bad mood like 95% of the time?? I honestly don't even like those people. How much of our angered outlook can be changed by just having a more realistic outlook of life.
Does it take the reading of 1000 History books to get a real picture of life?? I mean if you can get past the sugar coating Biographical Nature of most History books. Remember when I used to harp on the Howard Zinn/Joseph Heller days all the time??
Howard Zinn was a real eye opener for me. Talk about taking the rose colored lining from my eyes. Joseph Heller was soooo important too, because in life you need to laugh. You need to look hopefully with humor a lot at just how stupid this life is. I mean what parts of Society can you really take seriously??
Before I Graduated College I wrote that mandatory paper, and I said I was stepping out of my upbringing. Everything I was taught, I am throwing it away, and looking at life objectively. That was one of those points in time where can I really lay credit to that thought?? That was part of me, and my journey. See how so much of me is tied up to what I was going to do all along anyway??
There was a plan. I listened. I went through the tough times to have my eyes and ears opened, so I could look at things differently. If you remember after me Graduating College Shit really just started happening. Death, Breakups, and me all alone in this World. Looking for meaning. Can this life matter??
Who knew?? For so long much of what I went through remained hidden. I knew I was going to do something. I waited all those years waiting for what must happen. Remember that vision of me hitting the Alligator on the head 3 times. You know 2 times were major things. Me going up to the judges. I had no control of doing this. I was just led that way. How does one go up to the judges?? In my case they overtake me, and my thoughts. It is always save yourself, or some version of it. I was to be given the strength to not save myself. As I prayed so many many years ago, if I am destined to go to Hell, let me accept it for that which I deserve. That prayer was a necessary step.
Up against the Judges you cannot win. They are stronger than you, and you need help. You need to be given strength at the right time, and you need in your heart the ability to accept.
After the 2nd time I knew almost right away I did right. What a day that was. Then good things for a long long time. When my brother Jim died that was a tough one, because in my mind I had plans for him. Who knew he was just going to be the thief. You may think wow that is lucky. His work is done and this sure ain't easy. His life was pretty much shit though. I mean he laughed a lot, but he was Fucked up, and could never overcome this shit part of life. The horrible truth of life. Isn't there something good out there?? Is there a perfect life for us out there?? No. That is shit you have to come to terms with. This place sucks. Men and woman have created as good of a World as they can. With all the poison that comes with unperfect leaven. There is no right. There is no good direction you can come up with on your own.
Harsh truths, and harsh realities. Then you think you are going to find that one perfect person right? Don't all the fairy tales say that?? We all are not perfect, so you can damn well bet your family, and spouses, and kids and all that crap sure are not either. Looking for that perfect life. How can I be and feel better about myself?
There really are no good answers out there, and there really is not a great life. I mean I have been blessed with a good path. A path that leads to me being right. Not just reckoned as being right, but I will be right. The step I was asked, and I was willing to take so many years ago.
It will be a horrible horrible time for me. I don't have fear in my heart, and a lot of times I wish it was over. Can we get it done with?? There is a plan though, and it has to do with you people.
You have to come to terms with you, your life, and everything. Just follow along the yellow brick road of truth. It is all you are asked. Brace yourself though, because the truth sounds great, and noble, and all that right??
Brace yourself for the brutal hard answers the truth brings. It will take courage to do this. It will take courage to throw away all the crap in life you hold onto too. This isn't some great noble thing we are doing here living this life. It is a selfish World we live in, and you are trapped. There is only one way out, and it isn't all that easy.
So have courage, and be strong. I have been asking this of you for a while anyway right??
Good luck and best wishes.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. A lot of life's journey would be better off being solo. Everything we get ourselves tied up into makes everything harder. All things are possible, but you still have to be strong. Not right, strong.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
I mean it seems to me I go on and on about life and kinda how stupid it is right?? Does it seem like my heart is always kinda happy, and I have a smiling heart?? Does that make sense to you??
I have been that way a while huh?? I definitely hit the dark days for whatever reason. It seems sometimes I have to deal with shit. Mostly the outlook is pretty okay I'd say. Then I think of some people I know, and you have those acquaintances who are in a bad mood like 95% of the time?? I honestly don't even like those people. How much of our angered outlook can be changed by just having a more realistic outlook of life.
Does it take the reading of 1000 History books to get a real picture of life?? I mean if you can get past the sugar coating Biographical Nature of most History books. Remember when I used to harp on the Howard Zinn/Joseph Heller days all the time??
Howard Zinn was a real eye opener for me. Talk about taking the rose colored lining from my eyes. Joseph Heller was soooo important too, because in life you need to laugh. You need to look hopefully with humor a lot at just how stupid this life is. I mean what parts of Society can you really take seriously??
Before I Graduated College I wrote that mandatory paper, and I said I was stepping out of my upbringing. Everything I was taught, I am throwing it away, and looking at life objectively. That was one of those points in time where can I really lay credit to that thought?? That was part of me, and my journey. See how so much of me is tied up to what I was going to do all along anyway??
There was a plan. I listened. I went through the tough times to have my eyes and ears opened, so I could look at things differently. If you remember after me Graduating College Shit really just started happening. Death, Breakups, and me all alone in this World. Looking for meaning. Can this life matter??
Who knew?? For so long much of what I went through remained hidden. I knew I was going to do something. I waited all those years waiting for what must happen. Remember that vision of me hitting the Alligator on the head 3 times. You know 2 times were major things. Me going up to the judges. I had no control of doing this. I was just led that way. How does one go up to the judges?? In my case they overtake me, and my thoughts. It is always save yourself, or some version of it. I was to be given the strength to not save myself. As I prayed so many many years ago, if I am destined to go to Hell, let me accept it for that which I deserve. That prayer was a necessary step.
Up against the Judges you cannot win. They are stronger than you, and you need help. You need to be given strength at the right time, and you need in your heart the ability to accept.
After the 2nd time I knew almost right away I did right. What a day that was. Then good things for a long long time. When my brother Jim died that was a tough one, because in my mind I had plans for him. Who knew he was just going to be the thief. You may think wow that is lucky. His work is done and this sure ain't easy. His life was pretty much shit though. I mean he laughed a lot, but he was Fucked up, and could never overcome this shit part of life. The horrible truth of life. Isn't there something good out there?? Is there a perfect life for us out there?? No. That is shit you have to come to terms with. This place sucks. Men and woman have created as good of a World as they can. With all the poison that comes with unperfect leaven. There is no right. There is no good direction you can come up with on your own.
Harsh truths, and harsh realities. Then you think you are going to find that one perfect person right? Don't all the fairy tales say that?? We all are not perfect, so you can damn well bet your family, and spouses, and kids and all that crap sure are not either. Looking for that perfect life. How can I be and feel better about myself?
There really are no good answers out there, and there really is not a great life. I mean I have been blessed with a good path. A path that leads to me being right. Not just reckoned as being right, but I will be right. The step I was asked, and I was willing to take so many years ago.
It will be a horrible horrible time for me. I don't have fear in my heart, and a lot of times I wish it was over. Can we get it done with?? There is a plan though, and it has to do with you people.
You have to come to terms with you, your life, and everything. Just follow along the yellow brick road of truth. It is all you are asked. Brace yourself though, because the truth sounds great, and noble, and all that right??
Brace yourself for the brutal hard answers the truth brings. It will take courage to do this. It will take courage to throw away all the crap in life you hold onto too. This isn't some great noble thing we are doing here living this life. It is a selfish World we live in, and you are trapped. There is only one way out, and it isn't all that easy.
So have courage, and be strong. I have been asking this of you for a while anyway right??
Good luck and best wishes.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. A lot of life's journey would be better off being solo. Everything we get ourselves tied up into makes everything harder. All things are possible, but you still have to be strong. Not right, strong.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Coffee, Run, What Else on This Saturday??
Good Morning All. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. It is Saturday, so I will take the Hopester for a run in a bit. I'd normally go run with Jerry and Jim on Saturday, but Jerry's Dad passed this week, and I assume he has funerals and stuff.
I've been meaning to talk to my Dad for a while, and keep forgetting to call. I called him yesterday, and we talked a bit. I told him about my job situation, and stuff. His first thought was sue, and get a settlement. HA!! :) I am like, not really my thing. I said my piece, and that is all I wanted right??
Throughout the History of the World people have been searching for the meaning of life. Why am I here?? What is this about?? etc.. etc... etc...
Well, what is the meaning of life?? To make money?? To be financially secure?? If that were the case wouldn't more people have achieved that?? Money is like a big old trap of sorts. We want more and more and more. We don't want to stress about it. I get it, life is full of financial stress. We all think the good life is with the amount of money we have, but those people typically find their glory in the appearance of who they are.
Remember Saddam Hussein?? He had everything he ever wanted. Stalin too for that matter. The Security of their whole Society under their power. As with all people you take away their shell. (shell being all the things we put value in) and they are scared people who can die.
Should we make the World better?? How?? You going to take the hate out of people somehow?? You going to make them stop judging?? You going to make them believe in something more important than Country and Society?? You going to make them have good hearts??
No, not really huh?? We are all pretty powerless to do much of anything. I mean if we had the power and strength to do great deeds, wouldn't we make ourselves much better people??
You have a view inside your heart. You see the totality of what life here has to offer. You see the World for how it is, and yeah, you picked the wrong Galaxy to be born in. What were you thinking??
I have put a lot of tough things on this blog, and I have asked you to accept a lot of stuff, because it takes the pressure off. You cannot change the crappiness of life and this World. I have offered a Journey of you and you alone. A journey for insight of you, and a way to change you. All to be done here on this Earth. Not in some future place or future setting, but right here.
Don't you want to be that good person??
I know I do.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. I do Twitter and FB. I tell you, but I don't think I am all that fascinating. I have lots and lots of nothing to say. :) Isn't that what Social Networking is about??
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras for Doreen again. I have been thinking about her, and like I said I think she needs 'em. That is 4 days in a row. :) Yay. :) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Have a good one all. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo MWAH!!! :)
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
I've been meaning to talk to my Dad for a while, and keep forgetting to call. I called him yesterday, and we talked a bit. I told him about my job situation, and stuff. His first thought was sue, and get a settlement. HA!! :) I am like, not really my thing. I said my piece, and that is all I wanted right??
Throughout the History of the World people have been searching for the meaning of life. Why am I here?? What is this about?? etc.. etc... etc...
Well, what is the meaning of life?? To make money?? To be financially secure?? If that were the case wouldn't more people have achieved that?? Money is like a big old trap of sorts. We want more and more and more. We don't want to stress about it. I get it, life is full of financial stress. We all think the good life is with the amount of money we have, but those people typically find their glory in the appearance of who they are.
Remember Saddam Hussein?? He had everything he ever wanted. Stalin too for that matter. The Security of their whole Society under their power. As with all people you take away their shell. (shell being all the things we put value in) and they are scared people who can die.
Should we make the World better?? How?? You going to take the hate out of people somehow?? You going to make them stop judging?? You going to make them believe in something more important than Country and Society?? You going to make them have good hearts??
No, not really huh?? We are all pretty powerless to do much of anything. I mean if we had the power and strength to do great deeds, wouldn't we make ourselves much better people??
You have a view inside your heart. You see the totality of what life here has to offer. You see the World for how it is, and yeah, you picked the wrong Galaxy to be born in. What were you thinking??
I have put a lot of tough things on this blog, and I have asked you to accept a lot of stuff, because it takes the pressure off. You cannot change the crappiness of life and this World. I have offered a Journey of you and you alone. A journey for insight of you, and a way to change you. All to be done here on this Earth. Not in some future place or future setting, but right here.
Don't you want to be that good person??
I know I do.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. I do Twitter and FB. I tell you, but I don't think I am all that fascinating. I have lots and lots of nothing to say. :) Isn't that what Social Networking is about??
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras for Doreen again. I have been thinking about her, and like I said I think she needs 'em. That is 4 days in a row. :) Yay. :) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Have a good one all. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo MWAH!!! :)
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
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