Saturday, January 7, 2012

Different...

I am definitely starting the year out different.  I remember last year I wanted to comment on 100% of the blogs I read.  I am definitely not doing that this year.  I blog a lot and I comment a lot, but not going to do it all the time.  It don't mean anything, just like people read this and don't comment. 

Want to know what one of my hangups is/was??  I comment a lot, and I guess I thought that is a natural thing to do.  I have come to realize it is an unnatural thing to do.  The percentage of people who actually comment on blogs is pretty dang low.  So, I have a year planned of being more laid back.  Stop trying to affect outcomes of things, and let things just happen. 

For those of you who don't read Julia's Go Big Green blog, check out her last update.  OMG.  Best blog evah.  Brought a tear to my eye.  Kinda makes me think there is a whole lot out there in the world, and you won't know and remember everything, but some things are important to you and you only, and you will remember those things.  So much in that update, it is unbelievable.  Actually I think I am going to put a link of that update on my blog, so if anyone new checks out my blog I can totally steer them toward that entry.  Right below Jen H's insignia coaching thingy ma jiggy.  :) 

Our lives are our own, and we can do any number of things.  We don't have to stay in the same shell, we can always put another one on.  Step out of one, and put a different one on.  There is no right, and there is no wrong, because all our paths lead to the same place.  The puller of the strings of life, can do anything from whichever direction we go.  He does more with you in your quiet alone times than he does with someone dropping a knee in front of 40,000 people.  It is how he works.  He does stuff for you, you don't do anything for him. 

Remember when I said there is not much written about Abraham from the promise to the actual fulfilling of the promise.  I said that was God's time.  I think I was right there, and remember that came right before the deleting of the Journey. 

Remember in the book of Hebrews what faith really is.  The evidence of things "NOT SEEN" and the assurance of things hoped for.  Those who drop a knee are those who would only want to show their good side.   Not the way.  

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I will probably need to drink more water on my run this morning than last week.  ;)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

Friday, January 6, 2012

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch- Changes.

If there is one thing about life you can count on it is changes.  I have been doing this a while, and I think one of the things I have said is we are different day after day.  Now some people who read this are consistent in doing things they like, whether it is training for races of some sort, or being crafty, or being a Mom, whatever, but sometimes we are not consistent in how we feel.  You have a different outlook if you are surviving like the 12th day in a row of gray sub: 20 degree weather, as opposed to your first 70 degree day in April.  Things take a toll on us.  People get sick, and people die.  People get injured, people can be sad for any number of reasons. 

What does a parent think when their kid grows up too fast.  One day your having an adult time out with a bottle of wine, cuz the little bastards are too much, and then you finish the bottle and the little bastards are in High School.  :)  Where does time go??  Much of our time is wasted time too with trying to make ends meet.  Is this the best you got for us society??  We have this thing called life, and you want us to just go out and make ends meet.  Our highest achievement is a high credit score??  That is what we should strive for??  My credit score is nothing when I die.  That is not what life is about.  What endures in life?  You have relationships with people.  You have friends who know you.  They know your flaws, and don't care.  They respect you, cause your fun, and you are comfortable showing whatever. 

I don't really have a train of thought today, and maybe that is good.  Let's say this.  Society has created this great big box, and is it such a bad thing to look outside that box.  What else is in the world?  It is a big world out there, and maybe it is not such a bad thing to poke our head out of the big encompassing box, and see the real color of ourselves, and others.  Look at the vast shapes, colors, and angles of the world.  I think I should try to take pictures.  I am not promising, but maybe I'll try, because I think pictures are not a bad thing.  Get a view of what you see during the day. 

I got a couple things to say.  The Sherlock Holmes movies are great.  See them if you can.  I ran yesterday like 4.5-5 miles.  Think I will just ride my bike today.  Have a long run tomorrow.  People who do art stuff bring color in the world.  Everything serves a purpose, and everything can be used for good.  That is the power, and the lesson to be learned.  Everything can be used for good, even if we think it seems bad.  That makes me feel good.  :)  Because we all do stuff that is seemingly bad'ish.  Truth opens shit up, and hiding stuff tries to bury stuff beneath the surface.  We want truth and honesty from our corporations, and Governments, then I think we should want it for ourself too. 

Our natural tendency is to bury bad stuff, cuz we don't want people to see it.  Perhaps we are ashamed at how imperfect we are.  It ain't no big thing, cuz we all are imperfect, and the natural tendency of the world is to hide stuff,  keep it in the dark.  It don't understand the light, which is a bright ray of sunshine called the truth.  Aren't light rays holding a spectrum of a ton of bright colors too??  Hmmm, maybe that means something.  Truth = light, and light = color.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  yay, it is the weekend. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A little shout out to Jen Gray, and her friends, and Kim Kim Kim who decided to look at things at a different angle.  Help support people in a way that says they matter.  That shit works, because sometimes we all are a little low on the wave, and little things have a way of bringing us back up a bit.  :)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxo   for you two. 

Extras for Olga too, cuz I always have a good feeling in my heart for her.  I trust her.  :D

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

Thursday, January 5, 2012

A Million Avenues to Choose. Which Direction Today??

Boy I looked outside my mind's eye, and realized today I can go in any of a million directions.  I will start off with how my day started yesterday.  On Tuesday I napped before the run for two hours.  So I did not sleep too well.  I was tired, so all I did yesterday was bike to work.  Lisa and I left the same time, so I drove home with her, and will run to work today.  On my Wednesdays now I would come home and nap before speed work if tired, but I don't have speed work til next week, so I came home and drank.  I just had fun.  I listened to music, putzed around on line, and really just had fun. 


I realize how free I am.  Last year I tried to do so many things, and failed.  This year, I am going to let the year come to me.  I am just going to ride this little train called life, and see where it takes me.  I am pretty lucky to have such a great schedule.  I work early, and now my training season starts, so I run on Tuesday and Wednesdays.  Saturday mornings too,  and Sundays, and maybe pick up some miles here and there.  That really is neither here nor there though, I am just happy.  I have a great life, and all with how I feel inside. 

I think I will get a little weird here.  Now I have said many things in the past, and I am sure some people still read me from a while back.  Remember a couple summers ago where I gave up??  Life broke me.  I told God I give up.  I cursed him for ever making me live to see such days.  I cannot do it anymore.  That night he took my heart.  It was a vision/dream thing.  You wonder how that is??  It always is done in cartoon fashion.  I think maybe, because that is all we can handle, but that isn't the reason.  I have been through some non-cartoon fashion things before.  My 6 days of suffering the worst persecutions was all real.  100%  real life I am doomed, am bad, I am evil, and I am going to hell type shit.  pounded in my head every second of the day.  Mind you I did not sleep much those 6 days, and I did not eat much either.  Remember the ending??  When I saw a real life angel, and I knew it??  A homeless guy walked up to me and asked me if I had a buck.  I looked in my wallet, and had a single, and a twenty.  I gave him the $20.  I had goose bumps, and cried after he left, because just right then and there came the verse, "be kind unto strangers, because many have entertained angels unawares"  I knew with 100% certainty.  I still felt I was bad, and evil though.  I was lifted.  Everywhere I looked there were birds in the tops of the trees, which made me remember that verse. 

Speaking of Bible thumpers.  Those who deem abortion to be the #1 "Christian" topic.  Ummmm abortion is mentioned twice in the Bible.  Both times in the old testament, and both times it says better off are those who would have been aborted than to see the evil that is done under the sun.  (Solomon)  Or Job's prayer to be aborted would have been better than his life.  Remember the verse Woe to those who teach as doctrine the precepts of men.  None of you know shit, so shut the fuck up about that stuff.  Your whole religion is based on one guy who lived a shitty life, and he had followers who never married, and never had kids.  Leave the fucking sword alone, you play with shit you know nothing about.  Your whole fucking salvation is based on believing something the Devil himself believes.  That won't get him or you anywhere.   Meaning you waste your fucking time.  Your eyes have not been opened yet to see the sword for how it really is, and I haven't been through all the things I need to do to understand it.  At some point in time the sword I will be able to use for good, but for now it just slashes like a shitty sword.  When I go through my final thing, I will have a nice sharp Hatori Hanso sharp sword so to speak.  I am not there yet. 

Like I said there is not one thing you can do 100% of the time to make yourself a better person, or we'd all fucking do it.  What we are doing takes time.  This shit is not going to be done overnight.  It is living.  Doing our hobbies whatever they may be.  It is failing at shit every single day, because we all do.  It is getting a cleaner, better look at life.  It is being real, and honest, and that is the stuff you have control of.  You want to tell people your secrets??  No you don't do you.  So a lot of stuff is personal to you, and you deal with that in your own way.  You can be real, and you can be honest, you have control over that.  What you don't have control over is the mirror.  That was given you as a gift.  It is a good mirror.  Trust it.  Trust what you see.  Don't worry if you don't look pretty in your mind's eye all the time, because a butterfly once was not too pretty.  Be courageous and be strong, because we all are being led in a good way, and we have some great fucking people with us too.  So don't ruin shit by speaking shit you know nothing about.  :)  All you really know is you.  You are the only one walking in your shoes, and you are not walking in anyone else's. 

Truth of the matter is we all are pretty fucking great, and we all pretty much fucking suck too.  :) 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  The race of life takes endurance.  It isn't a 100 yard dash.  Keep the eyes open fuckers.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I accept you all, because you are not perfect.  Those who try and show and pretend perfect are ugly, our beauty is shown by our flaws.  It makes us all different.  We were born different, and we walked a unique path too no one else has walked, and that makes us even more different too.  Ya dig?? 

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D   :D 

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Have You Lost Some Of The Magic??

Your heart does  not lie.  You are not perfect.  You hate people.  You hate people who do not agree with how you think.  You try and boil your life into a box, and say this is me, and all that does is make you miserable.  It makes you hate others who are not inside your box.  Others who do not try and be like you.  The magic in people is how imperfect we are, not how "perfect" you want to appear to people.  The appearance of how you want people to view you doesn't mean shit to who you really are.  There is no right answers out there.  There is no 100% I can do this, and it will make me a better person. 

Life is more like Mindee's update.  Tired as hell going back to work,  still getting a workout in... somehow.  ( I would probably nap first)  Falling down, because she doesn't mind laughing at herself, and thinking about a friend far away.  That is color.  Accepting life for all the angles, and shapes, and circles and everything.  Life is not one box.   Small box. 

Life is also like Jen Gray, who has gone through a lot with the passing of her mother.  Periods of where we may not be as good as we'd like, due to sadnesses, and dealing with personal things.  She has lost her magic a bit she feels, but she is a dealer.  It is o.k. not to be at your best, because life has a tendency to take stuff out of us sometimes, and you cannot escape that.  You have to deal with stuff though. 

Have you noticed how Mindee dealt with her past year though??  It seems it came to a head a few days ago, and boom, it let the color in.  Now the world is 3D through her eyes.  It is full of shapes and colors, and circles and everything.  Goodbye box, my house I call my life is made of color now.  I don't want to be a person who lives in a cardboard box. 

You cannot control your heart.  If you could you would be nice to everyone, and others would be too.  People are angry, and hateful, and all kinds of things, because they blame the stuff in their life that doesn't make them happy on others.  Life is full of unhappy things.  You cannot escape that shit, so life is always full of dealing with stuff.  No way to escape it. 

Life takes a lot of fucking courage too, like the pumpkinsdiary girl who says you know what??  I am trying something new.  I don't want my life to be just one thing, cuz that leads nowhere.  Embrace life.  Accept everything.  It is o.k. if you think the world is shitty, cuz it is in many cases.  Realize if you hate people it is just a way of blame for your less than 100% happiness, which we all are made up of. 

Answers in life will be found with honesty, and being real, and accepting the truth, even if it is scary, and even if we have to admit, we are not that fucking great.  :) 

With that I say Fuck all ya'all.   :)   Just kidding.   I wuv ya's.   :)   LOLOLOLOLOL

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Jerry, Ken, and I ran 6 @ 6, which really was 6 @ 5:15'ish.  I didn't time it.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I haven't been giving out any extras lately, not sure why.  Haven't felt like it. 

I'll give some to Olga though, cuz she got some good news and can run again.  :D   xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

I'll give some to Doreen, Jules, and Brandy, cuz Doreen is going through menopause.  :)  j/k.   Brandy, because next Wednesday we start speed work, so this will be the last day I can drink Brandy on a Wednesday, and Jules, cuz she is great.  :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Jen Gray too, cuz she needs 'em.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Mindee too, cuz I love her colorful personality.  :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Starting Off The Year Slow...

Well, I am definitely starting off the year slow, as in don't really have much to say.  I don't know what that means, maybe nothing.  I did ride my bike to work and back yesterday.  It wasn't a big deal on the way there.  Lisa and I were going to see the Sherlock Holmes movie, but we had an audit yesterday.  We have 3 each year.  Our first one I expect to come sometime in February to early April, not Jan. 2nd.  I was shocked when the dude asked if I was ready?  Audit??  Holy Crap!!  WTF??   So right away I was not very confident.  Every Dept. passed for like only the 2st time ever.  WOO HOO!!  Not only that, but my year is 1/3 of the way through.  I only have two audits left, and a year to do it in.  :) 

So anyway audit = 10 hour day, so we never saw the movie.  We were going to see the 1:30, and I didn't finish til 3:30.  Bike ride home was a challenge.  Sidewalks weren't plowed yet, the streets barely were.  I had to take a different route home, and ride on the streets, which were pretty snowy.  That was not safe.  I am all for doing bad ass shit, but really riding my bike on snowy streets is not my idea of smart.  Usually our sidewalks get plowed pretty quick, so I am putting it down to plow people need to get in snow mode.  Must take them a while to get going, or maybe the day that really wasn't a Holiday.  Who knows??  I am driving today,  besides we run tonight anyway. 

Once in a while I will read a blog without pictures is boring.  I wonder why that is?  Is it really the blog or the person, or both.  Obviously if the blog is boring than you find the person boring right?? Or is it just a girl thing.  You never hear guys say that.  At least I don't.  My boring blog rarely has pictures, because I rarely take pictures.  If I do I'd probably post them somewhere else anyway.  I like the idea of taking a picture of something every day, and blogging about it.  That seems like a neat idea, and a neat way to keep your eyes more "open" throughout the day, but I think I'd fail at that.  :)  I don't take a lot of pictures.  Oh well just thinking out loud.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has  a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I did my push ups yesterday, although I almost didn't.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are tbe best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

Monday, January 2, 2012

Ruffled Feathers I Did Not Eat Cranberry Eyestopper Dictionary Surgery

Hello and good morning all.  Hope you all are doing good.  I sometimes think explaining my title is important, so I want to go on record as saying today's title is definitely a title first and go from there kind of title. 

As I speak the wind is howling, and there is snow on the ground.  A lot of people have dread, but I am excited, because I will bike in this stuff.  It will be coldish, but these are life's little challenges I like.  A bike to work in the snow.  I definitely am more excited in the morning doing it than coming home, but we will worry about that later. 

Yesterday I just took Hope on a little 4+ mile run.  My legs were a bit sluggish, but they kept going, and kept moving.  I am a bit leg-fatigued today too, so am biking.  I might normally run on a Monday, but not today. 

Not much else going on.  Lisa got most of the Christmas stuff done, and I did a few things, and watched a little football.  I ate dinner and went to bed really early.  :)  Ooooh, I added another blogger too.  Her name is Damie.  Unique name, don't know much about her, but seen her around bloggerland here and there.  Seems like she wins a lot of races.  I hate her already.  :)   j/k. 

Not much else going on,  hope you all have a fab day.  Ohhh, one other thing.  I noticed something yesterday.  There was a girl who died this past weekend in her sleep.  She had anorexia.  She knew about it, and battled it, but still ended up dieing.  How sad.  She was a pretty girl too.  What a shitty disease that is huh??  I know so very little about it.  I assume it starts off a mental thing, and if taken too far it must also turn into a physical thing, where your body doesn't do food well???  I have no idea, I should research it though.  Poor girl.  What a battle that must have been.  YIKES!!

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  oooh, since I added Damie, she is on my RHS so gets added to xoxoxoxo on my weird little blog.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

10 Hilly Miles. Yay!!

Well yesterday my season started officially.  On New Years Eve I usually would try to run the 5K in Holland Alan puts on, but when it is on a Saturday, well long run is going to take a priority.  Jerry, and I tacked on to his route at home an extra 4 miles.  There are two ways to run this route.  On the bike path or on the street.  Ummm the bike path is hilly.  This course is pretty flat when on the street, as they level the road when they did the street I guess.  The bike path they don't level.  so it was challenging.  If I ever wondered why I do marathons, I know now.  It is a challenge.  This 10 miler was probably more like a 12 miler in effort, and it was hard, and I wondered sometimes if I can finish, but the legs kept moving.  The time and miles kept clipping off, and we got to the end I felt great.  It was an accomplishment.  I have a long way to go in the next 4 and 5 months time, but it is a challenge, and it is a time where I feel I want to focus, and get better and do better.  After last year so many downs I never felt like I hit that spot where I wanted to focus.  As much as last year might have held me back, I am hoping it makes me hungrier this year.  I did time it too, and we ended up 10 miles @ 9:04 pace.  I'll take that before January 1 for sure.

Not much else going on.  I was pretty excited for a good workout, and was in a pretty good mood the whole day.  Lisa and I did a little house work, and I just chilled.  I had a couple drinks, and went to bed early.  I didn't stay up til midnight, but that shouldn't surprise anyone.  :)

Today I have to get a little run in, but nothing major.  Time to start doing push ups and pull ups too.  Time to get focused, and get this thing going.

Here's hoping for a kick ass mother fucking year.   :)    LOL

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day, and year.   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  think I will watch a movie before I run.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D