The Plans For After

So I woke up this morning thinking about my blog. It hit me pretty clear this blog does nothing. So I thought about giving it 'the end' title,  and walking away. I worried would I miss it. I've been able to walk away from everything and anything in my past with no worries. No biggie. 

What would I do?  I'd read. I realized most of my adult life I woke up before I had to. Before the internet I would read, and maybe do dishes. I  used to read a lot too. One of the times I read the rise and fall of  the third reich for either the 2nd or 3rd time predominantly before work. I don't remember if it was my 2nd or 3rd time of reading it, cuz I know I read it twice, but did I read it 3 times? Can't remember. That is what I'd do though. 

You may wonder if it bugs me, I blogged for as long as I have, and it serves no purpose. Nah, it doesn't bug me. No worries,  and no regrets. 

That is a possibility though. Really I don't know if I can walk away though. I'd hate to say goodbye,  and blog again the next day.  :)  I've quit before,  and picked up blogging again. It was hard to start the 2nd time. it was a weird time. It started with a death, and for some reason I got attached to Barbara. It was her Dad who died. 

It was weird cuz my heart was different back then. I was not secure, but I woke up every day strong.  I'd get judged throughout the day. I got attached to 4 other bloggers in kinda the same way. One was Audrey. I have no idea her last name. She thought I was a creep as much as Barbara did. Anyway, I got judged, and down I went. Only to be picked up again. That was Steve's journey. I remember I PR'd a marathon,  and didn't blog about it. It was a year of PRs, as I PR'd every distance that year. 

Come to think of it I think many people eventually considered me a creep. Mostly girls, cuz I mostly read girl blogs. 

Anyway, that was that. It was a weird time,  cuz I didn't have security, and my heart had to do some stuff. Take people's sadness. Stuff that was too buried,  and too hard to deal with. It wasn't easy for me to deal with it either,  but I had help. 

So I guess there was a purpose to this after all. How what I did works in the story I have no idea. I've lost touch with those 5. My heart doesn't worry about it. I am not sad or anything. I just do my day to day,  and that's fine with me. 

In the end I have no worries,  and no regrets. Today is a day,  and I think it will be fine.  

Laterzzzzzzzz.        :)

xoxo.         :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeeee.        :)))

MWAH.       :)