Anyway me dealing with that BS wonders how other households are. This stupid shit adds stress to my life, cuz it is under my roof. Every household probably has members in it making bad decisions. It is such an annoying thing to watch people go down a self destructing path. I have not handled it too well. I forgave the stupidity, and bailed him out, but now he is going on 5 months straight. I get it, I am totally like what in the fuck?
Imagine the households filled with gamblers, and alcoholics, lazy people. There is probably quite a significant percentage of people who make life worse for others.
Some shit cannot be helped I guess. Someone addicted to heroin is fucked. Those addicted to cigarettes are kinda fucked too. Everyone knows it's bad, and pretty close to impossible to quit without wrecking your life and outlook for a bit.
Gambling is the same way too. People may be addicted to a sedentary lifestyle. What percentage in the US of people are considered obese? What percentage eat fast food several times per week?
Chances are the majority of households have someone making bad decisions. Those decisions make lives worse, cuz it is infuriating to see people do self destructive things.
I've cut way back on drinking, cuz too much is self destructive. I'd like to cut back more, but sometimes when the day is done, I am like what the heck. My days always start out busy. I got shit to do, Hope to walk or run, work, shit around the house. Ponder legal recourse for the elephant in the room my dad.
It's either power of attorney to me where I cut off the Heroin addict, or he's got to go. I am not made to survive on $1700/month while doing nothing. My Dad has always been the type willing to be lazy, and do nothing. He wanted to be esteemed in people's eyes, but never really did anything of any consequence so he's the "appearance" guy. Wear a suit everywhere you go, so you look "successful" even though you are far from it. Come to think of it, I don't think anyone in Holland wears suits hardly. That age has passed.
I guess in life it is hard to see truthfully how people live. Why do people feel the need to keep up appearances? Maybe I should just show off my less than perfect side. I have rage sometimes toward my dad's stupidity. I brought him here to make his final years easy, and he fails every day. such a schemer.
I drink alcohol. I want to quit just cuz, but at the end of the day I may partake for the same reason. Just cuz.
I've done stupid things for sure. Broken any number of unwritten rules. I don't have a filter for my anger, cuz all for good takes the filter away. I don't think I get angry a lot, although recently may be different, cuz of shit my dad does in this household.
I am indifferent as fuck. I am not attached to anyone really. I am married yeah, so I have that. What i mean though is i don't have to go to any weddings, funerals, birthday parties, or gatherings. I don't have to do shit for holidays. I don't have to be sociable. i don't have to spend money for entertainment purposes. I am fine staying at home, and eating a meal. I am not worried about anyone's homework, and people's futures don't occupy any of my thoughts. When my dad dies he dies. I'll dispose of the body as cheap as possible. I won't have any ceremony, cuz I owe no one anything, and I am indifferent as fuck.
Doubt I have any sad thoughts about him going, cuz I learned the last couple years that he isn't someone deserving of such things.
So I am solo in these ways. Not looking to make my life harder, and not looking to hook my future to people. There is freedom in not having to do shit. As far as being sociable.
I work, eat, sleep. If society typically adds other burdens to life in the form of unwritten rules, they aren't my rules, and I have no use for them.
See? Life is easy peasy, when you are free to do as you choose. Luckily my heart is made up of work, eat, sleep. Also, I navigated my rage away to where my life is simple still.
Laterzzzzzzzz. :)
xoxo. :)
xxoo. :)
Byeeeeeeeeee. :)))
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