It's Monday.

It's Monday, so it's kinda like a normal person's Sunday. I have today off,  and I am not sure what I'll do. I have to work out, do a little cleaning,  and that's about it. I have to run the vacuum too at some point.   ;)

I got out of work early last night, so that was cool. I finished off another book too. Not much else besides that.

The author of my books I am listening to is Kathryn Croft. I recommend them if you like suspense. The Bears lost. I checked on my phone during the game. It's just a game. Once it's over its over.  That is the nature of sportsing.  I don't know how it ever changed from its true nature. Sportsing is fun to play, and fun to watch. People play the games, and not some bigger than life characters.  Trophies collected do not go with you to the grave. Actually nothing goes with you to the grave, so what's so important? 

History books make people larger than life too, although they don't escape being 6' under when they die.

I don't really understand what a normal person strives for. What do they lack?  I know the usual people want more money, and whatnot, but I mean inside. Maybe people want to be special,  but our end is 6' under so that isn't a real special ending. One of the things about me is I am known. I can be seen. Everything about me can be seen, and is known. That doesn't scare me even though I am not perfect. Perfection as I am now is out of reach. Do people have sadness that is unaccounted for?  Buried deep inside.  Played the stoic, and your sadness turned to anger? 

Insecure?  Inside you feel you don't really stand up, but you play the part anyway.

I don't know a person's struggles, but I suspect they have them. I don't really have struggles I don't think.  I am content in my little life.  I am secure in who I am.  I am assured of my route. I know on some days I open up to some of my hard days way long ago, and I know it sounds crazy. The truth is on my side though. Also I am open and can be seen. Me living in the light like that has always been a source of strength.  

My story was hidden for a long time. I couldn't tell people the craziness of it. It was a solo journey, and still is honestly. It was a Spiritual journey. I dealt with hidden things others still don't know is possible.

Me being mostly spirit is hard to make humans understand.  Others are still a part of this World. Going through the eye of the needle is how it looks to be reborn. It's not my end though.  I am a Spiritual creature not yet perfect. I have to do one more thing, and I am not sure what it will look like. I need a new wine skin as it goes to carry what will be my new insides. That will be when I will be the best a person can be.

As my story is quite long, and took a number of years.  Heck even the wait is going on a number of years. I don't know what that means for you. You are still the same today as you were before. Maybe a bit more knowledgeable in the fact you really aren't that great. You've had a number of years to improve yourself,  and perhaps your true nature is coming closer to the surface.

I don't really know. I don't know exactly what my story is supposed to accomplish.  I am not the author. I don't mind.  Trust I have. Not in me, but the one who strengthens me to be able to overcome. I still ain't worth much as a person. I have a name, and a story,  but I am not special in any way.

I stand as a person who doesn't overvalue  themself. I have no anger,  I am not afraid. I am secure, and strong.

I suspect most people never really felt as assured as I am. I have no anxiety toward the future. No anxiety of what people think of me.

On the outside I am just a person. The inside you can see here.  

Anyways, I spose.

Til next time.

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.     :)

Byeee.    :)))