Here I Am.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I've been up a while playing solitaire. I saw movies the last two days after work. Yesterday after the movie I came home and watched 3 more. Just a lazy day. Work was short, just cuz I finished up my jobs, and it was not enough time to start another. We had a pretty long meeting too, so I didn't really get a lot done.

Today I have to get shit done around the house. I work this afternoon. Tomorrow I have a day off, and it should be okay. Not a lot to do. There isn't a lot on my mind. I know I was thinking while I was walking at work it was nice to be up early. Nice walking without a care really. 

I started listening to another book. I've listened to like 5 books from the same author. Stand alone books. Not a series or anything. My latest one isn't all that great, but whatever. I may go for another series after this one. Not sure which one though. I'll look.  I like mystery, and suspense type ones the best.

Other than that, not much going on.  I guess I just do my day to day. I know myself pretty good. Very good I guess. I know the reasons I am not perfect. I know I am probably pretty normal'ish for my gender I guess. It was not good enough for me. Now I have this crazy sounding true story I have to live. I realize I cannot even really explain it too great to you, cuz you and I are different. I am not the same entity who was born here. I am different. You are the same entity that was born here. I've been made open. Able to be seen. Everything inside me. All my thoughts don't scare me. I am not ashamed, and I don't hide. It is how one is when they are accepted.

Others cannot even really do anything to me. I will still be accepted, and still be open. My strength comes from somewhere else. It isn't tied to one person. The World is not the source of my strength that is for sure. The World I have no use for. Rules and unwritten rules I see through. Laws are made to be broken, and it isn't the bad guys breaking the most damaging laws. The World is not fair. It is not a pillar of justice. It is a pillar of lies,  and deceit. It doesn't like the light, cuz the light brings one to repentance. Where the truth is finally known.

The World does not teach the truth, and I don't know if it is fear that keeps one from the truth, arrogance, or what.

I just grabbed the truth way back when. Clung to that as my support,  even if I was to be shamed, embarrassed,  even when I told that pretty blond what a pig I was, even though I would have liked to impress her.

While others were out making their lives, I was learning about life. While you were making a closet of secrets, I was open, and knew all my flaws.

I wanted security,  and I thought perfection would give me that. I told you that before though. I got security before perfection. I guess I'll give up security for the last thing I'll do, and probably all I'll have is trust. I don't really know how that will go to be honest. I am not scared, but I may be later on. Not sure.

Anyway, I spose.

Today should be okay.

Til next time. 

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Byeee.   :)))