D-E-S-P-A-I-R

That is what I felt yesterday.  I warn you here too, this is going to be one of them crazy sounding posts.  Crazy, cause I have to try and make sense of the things that happen to me.  Some things I know, but this one I don't really, but maybe I have a clue.  Now you know I have said before that sadness has to be accounted for.  I have done that, and I have taken people's.  Yesterday I posted this song It is Iz's "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" song.  I listened to it over and over again.  It tore me up.  Sent me into despair.  I cried and cried and cried.  I emptied my whole heart of everything, and despair was everywhere.  Despair to have me go hide.  Get rid of FB, Twitter, and stop blogging, you know the routine. 

I don't know why I had to go soooooo low.  Why???  What sadness was I taking???   Wanna know what I think??  I think I took a little bit of everyone's cause you don't want to look at it.  I took some more, because why not right???  Might as well.  I learned why we take sadness a little at a time.  If we took too much, which I was at the breaking point last night, we would rather be dead.  You take a little at a time, and for some reason it is important.  If you don't than I guess further down the road I take more, and all the way to my breaking point.  See I guess this is going to be done some way or another, because that is the plan. 

I also realize my signature line builds some people up, at the expense of tearing others down, so that is not my intention. 

That has me all screwed up too.  booo.


I'll figure that out I guess, but in the meantime have a nice day, and I'll see you tomorrow.  :)  in a manner of speaking.  :)