Big Blog Tuesday. :)

First off I like these lyrics by this Avril Lavigne song.  :)

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

There are a lot of different areas I can go here, but I know I have a pretty sharp sword, and it is a good one.  I have a feeling most of you know it too.  I am going to tell a couple stories here.   I went through a  very tough time during my summer of discontent.  Judged every second of every day.  No matter what I did I was on the wrong side of being on the right side.  Every second of every day.  Who knows how long this went on, but can you imagine thinking the worst of yourself 99.99% of the time day in day out??  After you already suffered more than you ever had before, and not being able to tell anyone??  Having to stay away from your best friend to go find out some answers.  You wanna know what I think??  I don't think you will have to do anything that hard.  I think I had to struggle through so much stuff, so your path won't be as hard.  Sure ain't going to be easy, but only because it is scary.  Fear is a good thing.  Do you have fear yet???  Pretty sure you do.  Shit it is scary just reading this thing sometimes huh??  I know I know.

I know some of you want to worry about the Government and stuff like that, but trust me, that shit won't be around forever.  There is an endgame to everything so to speak, and we are nearing.  You will have to be strong, and that is what we are going for now.  Wanna know a good thing.  One with the best eyes leads your way.  Looks out for you.  He doesn't make it a non-fear way, but he knows what he is doing.  There is a plan for you, and all this is done for a reason.  I never had that.  I never had me, I was alone.  Scared to death every second of every day.  Despair always, but you will get strong, and you do this for your kids as well as others.  Lisa doesn't even read this, and she gets stronger and stronger.  :)

So anyway I wanna tell you a marathon story, and a life story.  Many of you know the story of Laura and Rudy Chihak.  I linked to the blog entry a couple of times.  Hold on, I'll see if I can find it.  Here it is if you haven't seen it.  I found out something last summer.  Now you know last summer I actually saw my mom for the first time since I was like 6.  Like I said we hit it off like we were best friends.  It is how I am, I have a shield of all things, because I have help.  I had help through my journey, and even back in the early 90's I went through some things, while you all were living life.  How about this little thing here, you get to do this, while still doing what you love.  Nice huh??  It should make for some good seasons.  :)

Anyway I want to get back to this story.  I found out Rudy, and Laura's Dad was a lot like me.  Life of the party type of guy.  Once you are the life of the party there is always some pressure to always be.  No one is always on.  Life of the party always feels pressure to be on for his or her friends cause they expect it of him.  I knew there was more to me.  I knew there was sadness in me.  You know if you don't look at your sadness it is just a poison.  It isn't easy to look at, because like I said people are afraid of it.  It is something you have to look at, or else nothing, but bad comes from it.  It festers, and turns into bad stuff.  Rudy, and Laura's Dad killed himself.  I looked at my sadness, and told my Dad about it while I was in college, and my roomate Dale at the time heard me tell my Dad about it.  I said no one knows me.  I confessed my less than strong side, and the healing began.  It sure wasn't easy, and my path was horribly hard.  I made it though, because the puller of the strings helps those who he loves.  Original 4 plus one.  (Barbara)  going to be a pretty tough road, but no tougher than what I went through.  When this ends you will be a big help to me.  I will leave it at that.

Wanna know how I know this blog is hard to read???  Only a couple people wished Lisa and I happy Anniversary.  I mean sure don't wish me, but Lisa is pretty nice isn't she??  I think so anyway.  :)  Fuckers!!!   lol

12 years btw.


That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :))

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)   (Gina's signature)  :)

Love You All!!

p.s., Blackhawks are in the #5 playoff slot as we speak.  Good to be a Chicagoan.  Good sports teams less the Cubs.  :)   lol

Love You all xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You all are the best.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Like to throw extra of these for my Welsh friends.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Doreen and Jules  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blogger Christie   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   u r pretty.  :)

Gina xo       ha ha Ha .   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Nikkie and Kyle.  Mostly for Nikki, cause it is weird xo'ing guys.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :)

Starks  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   Jeff is easy to xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.  lol

Everyone else too.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


In the words of Avril Lavigne:

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

Now for really really cya cya cya!!!


One other thing.  I read everyone on my right hand side, but if comments aren't published on 2 of the original 4, then I will not come out of hiding.  I'll stay in my reader.  You have to let me know someway.  If not I will just stay hiding in my reader.