What To Do Today?

I got everything done yesterday I wanted. The Great Pruning Project is finally all cleaned up.  We ended up going to Sam's Club. We loaded up on some stuff, and looked around. It was fun looking around. We used to go there like 10 years ago. I haven't been there in a while.

Today, I have no big plans. I have to work out, but that's about it. We grabbed a quick bite last night, so I'll do tacos today.

Yesterday was okay as far as days go. My day was busy, and I slept easy. I listened to my book some. Sat outside some too. Come Saturday everything turns to a high in the 50's for a while. Like turn on the furnace season is getting close. Leaves are already falling.

I was thinking yesterday October will be done in a blink. Seemingly one week later it will be Thanksgiving. A month long of Christmas, and then January. Time moves quick. Winter really is just January, and February. Life is just too busy before that.

I don't think I have any major plans this Autumn, and Winter. Nothing much on my radar. Remember last year, we painted the house, and trim. This year we got the driveway poured. We did the windows,  and insulation the year before. Our basement is clean now.

I have no goals before me. I'll still workout, and still take Hope. My life is easy, but still active. I should check my blood pressure again. It's been a while.

As i am just sitting here thinking what i want from life, this is it. My projects are done. Its upkeep from here on out. No major expenses coming up. No bills.   I imagine that's kinda a neat concept for most people. It isn't that exciting. You still spend money, and your accounts don't grow as fast as you like.

Really though,  no bills,  and no major projects. Isn't that what we shoot for in the long run?  One thing I don't shoot for is a bunch of downtime.  I like to stay busy. My normal day to day is like that thankfully. That too is what we shoot for, but I think hearts have to be such a way to like it. What else you going to do? 

Anyway, I guess things are pretty easy for me. The World continues to move. I catch a bit of the news here and there. That shit is still pretty ridiculous. Bizarre really right now. That is no concern of mine though. I have a life. I don't surround myself with propaganda. I have a day to day. I will be successful in not being great. I probably will do okay,  in being okay with life too.

It's just a little thing we do for a while. It will end one day, and we'll find out most of this stuff makes no difference. It don't matter. You didn't make this place any better. You were just busy in your life no one really cares about. We have our own life to worry about,  and maybe that too is what we shoot for. A life we aren't worried about.

Anyway, I'll take Hope this morning. Get this day started.

Til next time.

Laterzzzzzzz.      :)

xoxo.     :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeee.       :)))

The Day Is Set.

This morning didn't go as planned. My early morning alarm went off, and I thought I'd just chill for a half hour. It was around 2:57. 3 more minutes, and I'll get up. I fell asleep. Hard. I woke up twice dead tired, and slept past my middle alarm. I'll take Hope tonight after work. It was surprising,  just cuz I was ready to get up at 2:57. Then I was out.

My day is planned today though. I don't have to work out today, which is pretty sweet. Yesterday I worked out, and the next thing you know it is 4:00 PM already. Time to think about getting dinner ready.   Anyway today I can fill up the yard bin. Tomato plants, and the rest of our great tree pruning project. I think I filled the yard bin 3 times with the great pruning project already.

I failed sober October, but I learned something I already knew I guess. I love the couple hour chill time before dinner with a couple drinks. I don't want a drink at anytime, but my chill time.

Today the day is planned though. Work,  Hope,  yard bin, and tacos. Discover made me an offer I couldn't refuse. They'll give me$25 to join Sam's club,  so maybe we can go there tonight. I am oddly excited about that for some reason. Discover has been good to me. I have a savings account that pays 2%  I just opened an 18 month CD that pays even more than that. For every $45 cash back, I get a $50 Lowes card. I never paid one cent of interest either.

Yesterday was an okay day I guess. I was tired when I got home,  but I did my full workout. I always feel good when I do that. I made a simple meal. Basically chicken and noodles. You know those Knorr flavored noodle things you get for $1 per package?  That was my meal. 2 of those.  Some leftover chicken I shredded, and croissants. I forgot to do a vegetable, but I think there were real strawberries in the strawberry cheesecake icecream I had for dessert.    ;)

Oh I started listening to my gunslinger book I am reading,  and retaining. I think I was just too hyper on Sunday. My mind going a million miles per hour, cuz I had a lot I wanted to get done.

All is fine. I got a day ahead of me, and I look forward to it. I think that extra sleep will keep me from being tired when I get home. Kinda staying ahead of the Fall yard work I spose.

Everything I guess is okay. Super duper kinda. 

Laterzzzzzzzz.      :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeeeee.       :)))

How We Draw Up A Sunday.

Sunday is my only day off. I actually like to get a lot done on Sunday. I'd call Saturday my chill out day. After work, typically I'll see a movie, then I'll come home, probably watch football, and eat a meal. I won't stay up late, cuz I just don't.

I don't think I want all my stuff done on my day off, cuz what would I do?  Yesterday I got a lot done, and still had plenty of time to do whatever. I watched a football game yesterday I didn't even care about. Packers, and Cowboys. That's kind of a waste of time. Watching a game I don't care about. I did make chilli in the crock pot for the first time this Fall. Got enough shit for meals this week too. Simple meals. I don't know how I spent $150 on groceries though.

I did all the laundry, cleaned the kitchen, including the stove, planted grass, hmmmmmm...  I think that's it. I tried listening to the first book in the gunslinger series, but I was losing concentration. I am good at audio books, but just not yesterday. Not sure if it is me or the reader. I'll start over again. If I have the same problem, I'll read the books, and find something else to listen to.

Today is a workout day. Glad to be back in my norm. My Friday workout was surprisingly strong. I felt as strong as ever for some reason.

I have a couple things I want to get done today after work, and my workout. I should try and watch the 4th Harry Potter movie. I was thinking earlier it is pretty remarkable the amount of people who know what a muggle is, and Hogwarts.

I was looking at the dark earlier before I got up. You know the little dot-like things that make up our vision in the dark?  Almost prehallucinate like. Then I thought of hidden things that are there,  but we don't see. Having experienced a lot of the hidden things,  I then wondered what normal people were like. Do they have stress about the day to day? 

My only worries today are I hope I am not too tired after work. I got things I want to do. I am not even really worried about it actually. Today is a day that has me in my routine. I like my routine.

Anyway, I spose. I have a day planned. It should be okay I think.

Laterzzzzzzzz.     :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.       :)

Byeeeeeeeeeee.      :)))

Not A Full Month.

I guess I failed. Saturday, I had a few drinks. I didn't have to, but I wanted to. I failed I guess you could say, but I made a conscience decision to drink yesterday. My desire to drink yesterday was greater than my desire to last a whole month. Am I weak?  Fuck yes. I don't intend to give up on sober October, but I think I'll drink one day per week. Get the demons out so to speak. It's my goal as a person anyway. Drink one day per week.

As to my weakness, it's the triggers. Out of the blue it seems like a good idea to have a couple drinks. They are real. It is those one has to overcome, not sure if it would get easier either. I didn't binge last night. I had a few drinks. Less than a pint,  and I fell asleep. I find not drinking for a month is much harder than I thought. I am addicted to it. No doubt. Just the trigger addiction. Now I know how smokers are. Can you imagine how often a smoker gets pelted with a trigger?  I'm glad I don't smoke. I think it would be very hard for me to quit.

I guess guilt can come into play. I don't feel guilty when I drink. Luckily I have a stopping point. I don't binge. If I were a binge drinker that would probably be as hard to quit. Binge drinking brings guilt however. Missing work,  and shit like that. Smoking brings guilt,  just cuz it is accepted universally as being bad. I don't feel guilty when drinking, cuz I don't have a body that keeps going so to speak. I have my share, and I am done.

I just see the weakness of our human bodies. If I went a whole month of not drinking, I wouldn't win any plaques or anything. Just a shout out to yourself that you are the master of you. Clearly I am not the master of me, or I choose not to be. I am not up for that sacrifice. I still would like to drink just once per week, if I can. I have no guilt if I can't though. There are no harsh repercussions if I don't. I accept me regardless I'd say.

Anyway, to those who struggle with real addiction. Like cigarettes,  and heroin.   Yikes.  I would not want to be in those shoes. I don't know if I could overcome.  It would be brutal I guess. I am not that strong.  Luckily I am not in that predicament. My one vice has enough control over me. It's something I like to do. I would like to be healthier,  by cutting down to one day per week. One day to purge the demons. I think I could do that.

I am learning about myself though. I am unimpressive. I am cool with the truth of me though. I am accepted, which brings it's own strength. I accept me too. I feel it is a good thing to know oneself. Just for the basic fact there are no superheroes out there. There are no geniuses to look up to. We all have our own demons. They help bring us down. The World keeps everything in the dark too, because we'd feel ashamed if we were in the light. I live in the light. I can be seen. I am Adam before the fall. Unashamed. I have to go one step further though. I'll tell you what though. Adam before the fall ain't shabby at all. Going one step further does bring about great suffering. I know that. I know I am not strong enough to overcome on my own, but I will walk that path. The path of understanding,  cuz only then will I know what was done. The current part of me will be no more. I will then be the best a person can be.

I've survived all the traps laid before me...my help did it, and I became the trap for my enemies. The worst of the worst will be free once I go do my final thing. That won't be a good thing.

These things I don't worry about though. My heart is in good hands. Its good to be me, as I've said a lot.

Anyhoo, today is a non drinking day.   :)  just like yesterday.    ;)

Laterzzzzzzzz.      :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeeee.      :)))

Day 3.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was fine. I worked a full day, ran a couple errands, cooked dinner which I didn't eat. I did eat mashed potatoes. I just wasn't that hungry, although I was hungry all day. I don't remember what else I did. I did take Hope for a walk when I got home. I watched the 2nd Harry Potter movie too. My goal in listening to all the books was to watch all the movies too. I'm a bit behind in the movies compared to where I am in the books.

I did have my usual few moments of thinking it would be cool to have a couple cocktails.   :)  Once again the day filled up, even though I didn't do much, and I was tired at the end. Probably around 11 miles  of steps. Still getting over an annoying cough. Good thing I'm not drinking. That wouldn't help things I'm sure.  My resting heart rate dropped another 3 bpm. Pretty much what I figured. Hold on, I'm gonna check my blood pressure.  128/81, which isn't too different than what it has been reading.

Outside of my cough I am healthy. Getting healthier too. It wasn't too long ago 146/96 might be what it read. Although I've always been active, I think working out helps. Moving blood into muscles regularly helps. That is what resistance training does. I limit my salt intake, and I eat more fruit too I'd say. Plus medication.  Can you imagine what my lipid count would be less alcohol?  My cholesterol is already really good.

Anyway outside that not much is going on. There isn't a lot for me to worry about as usual. I don't find not drinking to be unusually hard. Those cravings after work at whatever time are pretty real though. As adults we can do whatever we want, and that just happens to be something I want to do. The hours go on, and I don't feel really bad for not drinking. The thoughts just go away. I still am tired at the end of the day.

Not much on my mind besides that. Today at work should be pretty easy. I am ahead of the game, so not much for me to do. I have to workout, and change the oil in the truck. Do a dinner and whatnot. I'll have time to take Hope this morning. I'm gonna go for coffee #2 too.

Hockey has started. I have no idea how the Hawks will be. Who can tell?  Never heard of half the people on the roster. Bulls I think will be good. That will start pretty soon. The Bears, I think their Defense is better than last year. I've seen enough of them already. Khalil Mack is a monster. They were without two of their best players last week on D, and looked as good as ever.

Sportsing goes on. I have Sirius XM now, so I can listen to games if I choose. I may.

Not really much else. The weekend is here. I'll find stuff to keep me busy. I'll work,  probably see a movie. Do a bit of yard work. Basically fill up my yard bin with the rest of the branches we cut down, and start with tomato plants.

My life is filled with simple stuff. My day to day is as plain Jane as anything.  I like it. I just need to get rid of the cough.

Laterzzzzzzz.      :)

xoxo.        :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeeee.       :)))

What To Do For An Encore.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I had to work out yesterday. It's been since vacation, so I was really glad to get it in. I also took our change to the bank. $98 thank you very much. I bought steaks for dinner. I remember passing a bar on my way to the bank thinking having a beer wouldn't be horrible,  but that's about it as cravings go I think. I took Hope for a walk when I got home, and listened to a lot of the final Harry Potter book. Once again I was tired at the end of the day. Without a couple cocktails too. The last two days were around 13 miles too. I drink so often I guess I didn't know my days do wear me out. Good to know.

My resting heart rate is down another couple ticks today. The weather has been rainy, and now starting to turn chilly. I am fine with it. I like change. Whether it's the season or the $98 dollar type that feels like free money.    ;)  I have a bit of a cough that's annoying. It would have been really hard for me to get up at my early alarm. It could be for any number of reasons 2 days in. I do wonder if drinks + an early sleep give you a false wake up effect. You are done sleeping due to alcohol in you saying so. Alcohol makes you fall asleep, but it also gives you an ability to wake up early. I guess this month we will find out. I did stay up til 8:00 listening to my book.

A change has come over me in just the last year. Last year I couldn't even picture a sober October. My nightly cocktails were just a fun part of life. This year it was something I wanted to do. Hopefully even incorporating a little more sobriety into my life. I don't know how other people are on the inside, but it is impossible for me to be what one considers an alcoholic. Like that one year I smoked after college.  I could never in a million years down a pack of cigarettes in a day. Also I just cannot drink enough alcohol. It puts me to sleep. It doesn't have me wanting more at 3:00 AM, putting work into question. It's not something I crave in the morning. It's always been an end of day thing.

If people have weird cravings right when they wake up,  I cannot relate. That being said, my resting heart rate going lower isn't a bad thing. Also if during any given day I drank a whole pint, it is too much for me. I won't be hung over the next day, but I won't be at my best. I cannot drink more than a pint. Sleep comes before I ever made it much farther.

Here's hoping October goes without a hitch. The first two days weren't bad. It's just something that's off the table. I kinda think of other things to do. Can you imagine if I just get a ton more shit done instead of drinking?  That would be pretty awesome. Regardless, I am fine with how my life has gone,  and I am fine with where it's at. No complaints. No worries. Definitely no second guesses, and no what ifs.  It's an easy thing being me.

Today is a day. Not sure what I'll do. If we get out early I may see a movie.

Laterzzzzzzz.     :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeeeee.       :)))

Day 1.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was day 1 of not drinking. I got home, and cut the grass, ran the weed eater, and filled our yard waste bin. I felt pretty good about all that so I wanted to chill with a couple cocktails.   :)  I almost thought about saying screw it not even one day in.   :)  I went shopping to make stuff for tacos,  and vacuumed, and ran the robot. Cleaned the kitchen,  and ran the dishwasher too. That's kinda a lot with 8 hours of work on top of everything.

I slept for almost 9 hours the night before, but I was exhausted by 7:00 PM still. I didn't expect that. I watched a comedy thing on Netflix,  which wasn't funny, and drifted through it. I ended up with almost 7 hours of sleep last night, and my resting heart rate is down a bit.

I didn't even tell you, on Monday we loaded up our truck, and used our 2nd free dump pass. We are sitting pretty good. Basement is clean. A ton of shit to the dump. I feel pretty good about stuff as far as that goes.

Not much else besides that. I am kinda coming to terms with getting older. It's not a real glamorous part of life. I learn a lot of how I don't want to be from my Dad as always. I grew up thinking this is not who I want to be like. Nothing has changed on that front. His problem now is he knows he's 84, but he tries to pretend he's 54 or something. He thinks 40 year old girls will be attracted to him or something. Pretty disgusting.

Just seeing him be an idiot, makes me feel sick about being a disgusting 50 something white guy. How gross. Life I guess is kinda disgusting. Sex is gross when you think of it. How anyone can call the animal instinct of sex, "making love" is beyond me. For guys it's kinda a way to purge our demons. Get the lust and shit out of our heads.

Sex is for the young. Once you hit 50 you should give that shit up. 50 year olds having sex is gross.   :)  way too much jelly rolling at that point.   :)

Anyway, I guess the comedian was talking about sex a lot. From a girl's perspective. She made it seem as dumb as I think it is.

So if we throw sex out as being dumb, which makes all things improving sex appeal out, what's left?  What percentage of our time is spent thinking about that shit?  How much money is spent trying to improve how we look?  I do spend $25/month to work out, but not to be sexy. I am not really a great looking man in the first place, but I do it for health. To consistently use a good percentage of my muscles regularly.

It's nice not being overweight, but I don't feel I am sexy in anyway. I am shrinking. I am like 5'7 now, maybe even 5'6. Gray hair. A face that's older. I find white old guys disgusting too. So as far as confidence in my sex appeal I have none. No use for it either. Sex is dumb remember?  Gross too.   :)

I do feel pretty good today. Better than if I drank, and that's the whole point. It's just in the afternoon when I finish my stuff, I do crave chilling with a couple cocktails,  like I craved yesterday. This morning I crave feeling like this all mornings.

Anyway I spose. 

Laterzzzzzzzz.    :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeee.      :)))