Day 1.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was day 1 of not drinking. I got home, and cut the grass, ran the weed eater, and filled our yard waste bin. I felt pretty good about all that so I wanted to chill with a couple cocktails.   :)  I almost thought about saying screw it not even one day in.   :)  I went shopping to make stuff for tacos,  and vacuumed, and ran the robot. Cleaned the kitchen,  and ran the dishwasher too. That's kinda a lot with 8 hours of work on top of everything.

I slept for almost 9 hours the night before, but I was exhausted by 7:00 PM still. I didn't expect that. I watched a comedy thing on Netflix,  which wasn't funny, and drifted through it. I ended up with almost 7 hours of sleep last night, and my resting heart rate is down a bit.

I didn't even tell you, on Monday we loaded up our truck, and used our 2nd free dump pass. We are sitting pretty good. Basement is clean. A ton of shit to the dump. I feel pretty good about stuff as far as that goes.

Not much else besides that. I am kinda coming to terms with getting older. It's not a real glamorous part of life. I learn a lot of how I don't want to be from my Dad as always. I grew up thinking this is not who I want to be like. Nothing has changed on that front. His problem now is he knows he's 84, but he tries to pretend he's 54 or something. He thinks 40 year old girls will be attracted to him or something. Pretty disgusting.

Just seeing him be an idiot, makes me feel sick about being a disgusting 50 something white guy. How gross. Life I guess is kinda disgusting. Sex is gross when you think of it. How anyone can call the animal instinct of sex, "making love" is beyond me. For guys it's kinda a way to purge our demons. Get the lust and shit out of our heads.

Sex is for the young. Once you hit 50 you should give that shit up. 50 year olds having sex is gross.   :)  way too much jelly rolling at that point.   :)

Anyway, I guess the comedian was talking about sex a lot. From a girl's perspective. She made it seem as dumb as I think it is.

So if we throw sex out as being dumb, which makes all things improving sex appeal out, what's left?  What percentage of our time is spent thinking about that shit?  How much money is spent trying to improve how we look?  I do spend $25/month to work out, but not to be sexy. I am not really a great looking man in the first place, but I do it for health. To consistently use a good percentage of my muscles regularly.

It's nice not being overweight, but I don't feel I am sexy in anyway. I am shrinking. I am like 5'7 now, maybe even 5'6. Gray hair. A face that's older. I find white old guys disgusting too. So as far as confidence in my sex appeal I have none. No use for it either. Sex is dumb remember?  Gross too.   :)

I do feel pretty good today. Better than if I drank, and that's the whole point. It's just in the afternoon when I finish my stuff, I do crave chilling with a couple cocktails,  like I craved yesterday. This morning I crave feeling like this all mornings.

Anyway I spose. 

Laterzzzzzzzz.    :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeee.      :)))