Kinda Like Yesterday.

So today it was hard to wake up early again. Actually I fell back asleep. I slept 7 hours too,  so maybe last week was a fluke. Maybe it's just cuz it is Wintry again. Who knows.  I know I am not getting sick or anything cuz my resting heart rate is low. Not elevated from its norm.  Yesterday was kinda nice for a Wintry day. It was like 30° or so. I took Hope when I got home. The snowflakes got bigger so I ran the snowblower. I also used my roof rake. I ended up with close to 30,000 steps too, so a pretty good day.

Today will be busy too, cuz it's a work out day, and it seems every dish is dirty. I did run the robot yesterday so our floors are clean.

Not much else besides that.  Today is another day in the ledger of my life. It is comforting knowing I am where I am supposed to be. I am not supposed to be better than what I am now. I am known. I don't really have any dark side that isn't known and can't be seen. Inside me is like a light that shows everything. It helps there isn't much to me. The log we are all born with is no longer in me. That which keeps all in the dark is no longer a part of me. It really is good to be me.

We all grow up assuming we are supposed to do certain things, and as it so happens those assumptions end up biting us in the butt. You have no idea how big a problem it is. The wilderness teaches us this problem.  The World is wrong, and doesn't teach us the truth. We are born part of the World, so the odds were always against us. I personally was singled out to break the odds. I definitely needed help in the early 90s to start viewing things different. Life pulled,  and I listened.

I really did want to be the best version of myself. Wow, who knew how impossible,  and how long of a journey that would be. Me being a better person was more important to me than whatever the World had to offer. That too is a stumbling block for folks. As it turns out for me to be the best version of myself I need new insides. Not organs, but spirit.  That now which I am poor in has to be filled,  but in order for that to take place I have to suffer one more time. I am willing, and I am not afraid.  I have help with the courage part, but I may be scared as the time draws near. Not sure though.   Also during this time I will get understanding so all tools will be at my disposal.

It once was vital I get this,  cuz I wanted security, but as you know I already am secure without any of those things. You also know I didn't know that was possible. This story of mine has left me strong. Dependent on no one. I am good on my own. So my days are pretty easy.

I don't 2nd guess.  There are no what ifs in my life. Today is fine.  The days don't need to be any better. My story will eventually be done, but I am patient, cuz I don't need anything. I am just here doing my day to day.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Til next time.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.     :)

Byeeee.       :)))