Change Of Direction

One thing about my brother Jim he was most proud of was his ICBL league.  That sucker has been around for 1/4 of a century.  The get together was this last weekend.  I am sure they had a ball.  The last year I went they did it in Bloomington/Normal instead of Springfield, Illinois.  It is where they did it this year too.  Why do I say this??  His Championships in this league were the one thing he was most proud of.  This silly little baseball game, although it takes analysis of the Billy Beane type to be good at it.  Means you look, and think numbers... hmmmm well you can think and talk about them forever.  Not for everyone.  Anyway, what I wanted to say is through the draft  (wait year after year to build up a strong team) I created a winner.  Meaning it was patience I used to build a team to win it.  The team did win it, but I walked away. 

There is nothing I cannot walk away from.  I am not entangled in this world at the slightest.  That should be a lesson to you all, fwiw.  That being said I don't think I could walk away from Jenny H.  Unless she really fucks up somehow, but I doubt it.  Kelly Dunleavy is pretty high on the list too.  Why????   because they are not afraid to show they are not all that.  When we show we are not all that, you know what???  We really become all that.  If you want to hide your bad shit have at it.  Makes you pretty uninteresting though really.  Our less than perfect shit is the best.  That shit makes us funny.  We can relate. 

People will judge you, but if you come out of hiding I'd stand by your side.  Fuck the others.  You come out it shows your strength.  The judgers are weak, because they want to pretend they are better than you, to offset their own insecurities.  Everyone has sadness in them.  It is what life is about.  There are Howard Zinn days, and there are Joseph Heller days.  A lot of shitty stuff out there, but there is some good too.  People are killing people all over the world for some reason or another.  Life has a lot of shit in it.  Don't deny it, and try not to live in a shell.  Have to look at it.  It isn't easy, and it isn't pretty, but you think you'd be given too much to look at???  You  think the one with the best eyes would lead you in a bad way?? 

My change of direction is no running group for me this summer.  I have a body, and a metabolism that does good with strength.  I am going to do more push ups, and pull ups, and run and bike less miles, although I will do something every day.  No race on the horizon, just get in shape.  Lisa says she misses my help in the yard.  I wanna help her more with that, and add more flowers, and do that stuff.  less work out time, and more yard time, although, I can still do more.  Less miles, but more stuff.   Less is more in this person's life.  I can walk away from anything remember.  I am not entangled in anything, but like I said.  I would not walk away from Jen Harrison.  :)  or Olga, or Jeff Stark.  Or the xxxxxx people.  :)  or Jessica.  I love the ones who are strong in honesty, not strong in racing.  Charisa I kinda just like a lot for some reason.  Why I know not.  Who can control their own heart right??  If we could we would always make it happy 100% of the time right, and we would always do the right stuff, etc...   Just the way it is. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I forget how much jalapeno's hurt.  "FIRE IN THE HOLE"   :)   ewwwwww. 


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