For Jake and Jacob

Part of this is for Jake the Snake, who btw is not a snake. Just a run if the mill kinda guy.  Living life, and growing up normally as we all do. Life throws shit our way, and we always won't be perfect, but he is as normal as anyone. We went out to breakfast yesterday, and had a good chat. He commented on my blog before, and got nothing in return.

As a man of patience though I add him and his family. I don't know his family, and I think yesterday was the first time I got to know him.

As for Jacob one of my 4 bosses I guess.  I have a blog, and I write what is in my heart. I always thought I'd tell you this, but I never have. It never really came to mind. After Super Bowl Sunday my bridge fell out. I have 3 teeth currently missing in the front if my mouth. It will cost like $3000 to fix, and I don't have $3000. So I am currently walking the Earth in shame I guess.

I do have a promise all for good, so I don't stress too much about it. I'll fix it when I can, and after next week we will be all caught up on bills, and bringing in a good amount more than we *should* spend. ;)

So yeah this blog goes a certain way and one if the ways it goes is looking on the inside. I don't look in the mirror while smiling, cuz I don't want to see the gap in the front of my mouth.

I think it is weird a man of honesty wouldn't tell you this before, but blog time is blog time. I write what is in my heart, and that is shit from the inside. God looks on the inside, and he knows guys surf porn and jack off. Girls do whatever it is they do.

My I side is known. I may be ashamed of my gap in the mirror, but I am not ashamed about anything about me on the inside.  I am not perfect, but I am accepted. I will be perfect, and that probably won't be the best job I ever had to do. All the things I know that are hidden will not be hidden anymore.

So I clear the air. I think at one time I said bloggers in their own way are kinda rock stars. I am not a rock star if people think that.

Just a dude walking the earth, and as the acceptance of society goes I probably on the outside look like a loser.

I helped my neighbor named Steve yesterday. He was missing half his fucking teeth, and he was black. I didn't think twice about if. Seemed like a decent enough guy to me.  :)

So yeah, I ain't all fabulous, and I ain't a rock star. Lisa and I do pretty well, and we surely can take whatever life throws at us.

Tbh I was worried about my bridge when it came loose. I knew all for good, but come on. I was an avid flosser and everything. As it turns out this blog is about what is on the inside, and I am not really worried about the outside, although I probably weigh marathon pr weight. Between 165-170 is my guess. I never weigh myself, and I may never again. I don't worry about that shit.

I give you this info for Jacob, cuz people worry about outside shit.  This blog is for Jake too, cuz he let me know some inside shit that most people try to hide.

This here is for you, cuz my insides were made pretty good by someone other than me:

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  A lot of our life is hidden.  Shame??  Embarrassment??  Both??

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D

Nobody Ever Told Me.

I really didn't have much on my mind, but I figured I should blog since I probably won't tomorrow. Something just popped up in my mind though. As I realize what my job is and why I am here there are a couple things. I had no idea how hard it was going to be just for me to get where I am. Also I had in idea how hard what I am doing is.

I have a feeling that is a pretty serious thing. One of those things your heart is not telling you how serious. I personally know about these things, because I have been reproved before. We don't know all the folly and foolishness within us.

What is it I can do??  Not much. What is it you want to do??  What does your life mean??  What do you think about in your alone times??  Are you ever bored??  Do you ever wonder why you are maybe an x kind of person,  but would like to be more y??

To be a human is to have answers. We have a brain, and we know things, but we don't even know us. Me, I do know myself. I know all my shortcomings, and I know why I can't fix it.  I know why I cannot be perfect as I am now. I know the way to go though.

I also know all people have shortcomings, and they cannot fix them. You can't be perfect, although that is possible. So it is possible to be perfect, and we are nowhere near it. I know the direction I choose to become the best a person can be. What exactly is it you do to become the best a person can be??

Or maybe you think you are already that??  What do you think are the important things in life??  The silly things we do to fill the day to day?,

I never knew this was so hard. One other thing I thought about is I am free to do as I choose, because I have a promise all for good. So I am a good tree who cannot produce bad fruit.  That is a great confidence let me tell you.

Anyways, that is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I got to sleep in today. Pretty sweet. Also meeting an old baseball friend for breakfast. Passing through the area.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

From Nothing

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. My post today is out of nothing, cuz I got nothing on my mind at all. Just doing this life thing.

Yesterday I had another day. It had my little run I do. A little biking, some work, and then I chilled at home. I made a meal, and I went to bed. I slept pretty good too. I had a good wake up too. One where you wake up wondering what time it is, and it was midnight. I still have 3 hours to sleep if I want to get up 3 hours before I have to be to work.

Sorta a common theme this Summer huh??  Life goes on. Day after day after day, but as people what do we do??

To be a "good" citizen we have to do a bunch of crap huh??  Where do you see the perfect life in any avenue?? When do we finally make it so our worries are over??

Why does the World have so much control over us??  Has Civilization made us better people??  What is the answer to life??  I think one book said 42, but also what even is the question??

How serious is life??  Serious enough we all are going to die. Why even have a life if there is such a bad end??

We all were young once, and we all had our young loves, and now many of us are aging. The natural tendency of people is to follow along the regular routes others before have travelled. All routes lead to our own end.

Life is a short thing suffocated in a busy World. So busy maybe many look for an escape now and then. The World is so busy you will never do all the things correctly. Too many demands placed on you.

If only we were strong enough to stand up to the World, and question it. Why???  Why so many burdens??

Then there is other shit too. Wars, and murders, and anger.

What is the answer to life??  Also why life??

The question is why am I here??  Also if there is a purpose what is it ?  The answer is yes there is a purpose, and since there is a reason you are here then it would be the only thing to fulfill you. To do what you are meant to do.

That is the turn. If there is some reason I am here let me do that.

What is it for you??  I have no idea, but one of the things is for you to get to know you. I am afraid that is more than just day to day stuff.

Some of you make this harder than it has to be.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Adding Marit. She doesn't blog anymore, and I didn't really know how to go about it, so this is what I can do now.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.  :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D

Another Day Older...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday went pretty well. Work was a bit hectic for a while, but we finished in time, and actually maybe left a little early. That is always the goal.

Lisa took a couple vacation days to do some stuff around the house, and some of it she needed help with. That's where I come in. :)  she wanted me to switch out the exterior lights by the garage. They should have probably be replaced like 5 years ago, but she got a cheap pair at work, and refinished them with one of those special rubbed bronze paints or something. So I did that, and helped her hang done shutters, and replace a screen that Hope decided to run through. I ended up getting some stuff done. I actually cooked myself some salmon on the grill too. I love salmon, but I am the only one, so I don't make it enough.

There you go, another day if my boring life. Boring to read about, but not boring to me. You know this though.

I figure I have a pretty tough message. People are smack dab in the middle of their life. We always are. That never goes away.

I have a message that goes against the grain. One that stems on trust, because you are weak at this moment. You cannot see past the life you are living.

Do you see you??  You try to accumulate Worldly points by doing x and y. Maybe it is a numbers game. If I have more good points than bad points than I earn a gold star??

What do I say??  I say there are no points you are collecting.  Points come from something different than you can see now.

If I pull on this thing than you can bet your life will pull.

Maybe questions. Why do I need to read 100 emails every morning??  Can't it just stop??

Why do I have to spend money going on vacation??  Cheaper to stay home right??  Especially if you are a finance stressor.

Why do we do the things we do??

Why am a ball of stress inside.?

That is my key. I don't have stress, because I am not the maker of my story. My story is mostly complete. I know what is possible for a person to become, and I am on that path.

It is a story of two people. Me, and you.

Who are you???  Outside of society and life and stuff??

Do you even know??

Anyway, I really got nothing today.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Yesterday was a pretty good day. I plan on having another one.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's    :)

MWAH.   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Why,Where, When, How???

So many questions in life. So many never even asked. You can ask those questions yourself, and when did your life become your own??  Why did you make the decisions you made??

You were born into this World, and born to follow along. Go to school, graduate HS, go onto College for some, get a career, maybe get married, maybe have kids.

Why do you think that is right?,  who told you??

I am not saying it is wrong, but at some point shouldn't we question things??  Remember way back when as part of my story, I threw everything out, cuz why should I just be a product if Society, and Civilization, when that is just a collection of things men and women thought up.

That is the recipe for my life. Seek a little truth, be willing to hold onto nothing, throw in a little death, my whole life ahead of me, and perhaps a lot of my shortcomings compared to who I wanted to be.

So my life at that point was singled out for a turn. It is what made me different. One thing I can say is I learned about all the bad things about life that bad Summer. I never really told no one about it, because there was no way I could. It was a for my eyes only type of thing, and still much of it is still.

My story did open up at some point, and I can tell you what I went through. Regardless of all you know me, because I know me. You don't know everything, but everything about me is known.

People know very little about you, and much just has to do with strength. We are supposed to act a certain way, and be a certain way. People judge, and our skeletons we'd just assume keep in our closets.

Life is a journey to be lived. One where we learn to not be afraid to show our life. My life is filled with imperfection as others are too, but I am not afraid of it. All my stuff is dealt with so I do not carry the burden of all my trash accumulated throughout the years.

I can only tell you everything was worth it, and I haven't even got what I originally set out to get. That is understanding.  Understanding comes where faith and perfection meet. It is like a mixture of oil and water kinda. I sorta always knew how that would be. I just didn't know what the days up to that point would look like.

Anyway, I said it in another place, but I added Natalie, and her twin sis Alyssia, as we became friends too for a bit. I'd add something special for them too, but don't really have anything yet. I thought a lot about that time during the last few days. All positive, and all good.

Anyways that is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Guess it is time to take the Hopester. Once again I said in another spot, but currently my runs are a mile out to a little foresty area. I then walk Hope for a bit there. I then run a half mile toward home, and it is just a short walk home. There will be no marathon pr's with this type of training, but I like it.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.    :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Kinda A Weird Thing...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I went to bed really early last night just cuz. Lisa went out with some friends, I was tired so I figured why not. I am not sure how good I slept. Typically I can count on a lot of REM sleep, and I think I slept light for a good portion for whatever reason. Oh well.

Anyway this past weekend was kinda odd for me. For one thing I was actually productive outside if work. Miracles do happen.  ;)

Also came I to contact with an old friend, and actually old girlfriend. That was kinda trippy for me, cuz I have this whole story, and she knew me post bad Summer, and during the physical depression period. I remember we sort of accidentally became friends. I wasn't really looking for a girlfriend, and really I was planning on living life solo, and somehow we hooked up. I fell heavy, and then she went to Denmark for a period. At some point when she was away my energy returned, and the Joseph Heller crazy fun days began.

I had a ton of confidence. I knew my life was mine again, and I also knew how I was now I was not able to be perfect. That which I seeked for was not mine to take. There was nothing I could do to make me the person I wanted. So I had fun.

This was not a great period for me to be a nice guy, but it was a period where I was confident. I was assured of who I was, and I knew the direction of my life was good, although I couldn't see any of the future. Also I told her of the turn way back then.

Seems strange to have a story, and lo and behold she knew me back then the best. I wasn't a perfect person, but she definitely knew me the best.

I knew some things about her too. She was pretty open and honest with me, and maybe she was never like that with anyone else.

So anyway my life moved to Michigan, and I did what I did, and some 13 years or so later I started the first of my 3 blogs.

I have a feeling my first blog was very much like this one. It is doing the same thing, but I needed to do the Journey one first, cuz that is how this blog wins.

What does this blog do, and what did heimleblog do??  It judges the World. Salvation is not a part of the World at all, and all this is judged as so.

I knew the truth about this during my bad Summer. I knew how all the people fall short, cuz that is the teaching of the World.

We accumulate what we think are points via being accepted by the World, but that is not what you need. You gotta do tough stuff that is impossible without help to get to the good stuff. What makes it so tough is the World judges you, and I am out judging the World. You have to be stronger than the World, and that is impossible, while still being a part of the World.

You will have to go through the eye of the needle, and that comes after the turn, and after repentance. The Worldly points you collect matter not one bit.

Anyway that is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  Holy Hell is this long.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

The Lessons We Learn...

Having lived my life, and having done the things I have done I realize life is a big and nutty thing.  It is something you were born to lose at. You were never ever going to come out of this perfect. So many things in our life can mess is up.

One for instance is our parents are not perfect, and that can be a big deal. We live with imperfect people when we have absolutely no clue about anything.

So the kid grows up. Experiments in stuff. Drugs maybe, alcohol, maybe, sex maybe.  If you are a guy you start thinking about sex and shit around puberty, and trust me we hit our peak there. That shit is hard.

Anyway life goes on. We have relationships and stuff. The World tells us maybe there is a perfect person out there for us. That's a lie, cuz no one is perfect. Maybe the World tells you to get married and have kids, although Solomon warns you against it.  Others later on too. As a matter of fact it says the journey you must take is easier if you are solo, because the lesson of Abraham is one was more important than the other. So Isaac was offered up as a test of obedience. Quite a bit of trust from Abraham huh??

You read all those stories and it is true. It is faith (believing when spoken to, and being obedient) that is reckoned (=) righteousness. Not by how great we are, and we are not great.
So we live a life, and whoever you are you have baggage. All this shit needs to be dealt with.

One of the lessons of my life is I was faithful. It is with great difficulty the righteous (faithful) are saved. (Bad summer, heimleblog, journey) how much more the sinner? (Unfaithful).  That is the lesson of the wait. People don't believe when given good information. They harden their hearts when given the information, cuz they would rather choose the World.

So they go out, and try to prove they are right, cuz they do this and that. They give a shit about such and such. Maybe cuz they work hard at something that equals zero points. I hate to tell you, the slaves in Egypt worked harder than you. The work they did was as important as whatever you do too.

Life has lessons, and I've learned many. I realize now this thing is completely impossible without help. My whole life after the turn is impossible without help.  I didn't always know I had help, until after the journey. 20 years after the turn give or take.

Eventually I'll have to offer myself up, and that is completely impossible too, but I have the best help.

So currently we are where we began with the wait. Nowhere.  Been doing it for years, and still nothing.

Ha!!   Now that is funny.

Lol


That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Got a lot to do today. Took the shed apart yesterday to put it in the backyard. Today I have to put it together.  Fun fun. Have to work first though.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D